Top 10 Obscure NES Assholes!

Mike Matei / April 2nd, 2016

Everyone remembers annoying enemies like the Hammer Bros in Super Mario Bros. But lets get more obscure! In this Top 10 list, Mike Matei chooses the cheapest and lesser known enemies on the NES!

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  • J. Hinson

    April 2, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    lol, fuck these guys

  • April 2, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    yeah fuck the red axe lizards in Adventure of Link.

  • Randall Benoit

    April 2, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    Awesome as usual, Mike!

  • Uncle Sporkums

    April 2, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    Minnie Mouse in that game is like the Corsican Brothers combined with your annoying younger sibling that your Mom makes you tag along with your friends, and when they trip and hurt themselves, you have to take them home.

  • April 2, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    More content on Cinemassacre is always appreciated, thanks for the video Mike! Keep up the good work.

  • Pablo1989

    April 2, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    How about Souls aka Flying Sperms 😛 in Sweet Home?

    they harmless sounds fine? uhhh NO!
    Harmless but they take away one of your one of your team mate to random location mostly to that place where stronger enemies are held 😀 So good luck return to group alone.

  • FinallyGAF

    April 2, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    Great video. Very entertaining and a nice toppic. Since no one asked, here are some more assholes in my video game history:
    – Fruity Frank (Amstrad CPC): The fast strawberry guy who shows up if you play too long.
    – Lost Patrol (Amiga): Booby traps. They just show up anywhere and take your team with them.
    – Predator (Commodore 64) The last one. There is a tree and a rope but nothing ever happened.
    – Ghostbusters 2 (Amiga): Vigo. Somehow you wander around the museum, sometimes he comes out of the painting… you can spray him with slime o protons… I never managed to defeat him.
    – Donkey Kong Country 2 (Snes… see I also played some consoles) Screech… you motherfu… If I ever catch your sorry ass…

    Okay, to be fair.. some of them aren’t really unfair or cheap enemies… there are a thousand more, probably… anywhere this comment end here, nevertheless.

    • April 2, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      Great choices! There are tons of other ones that could be mentioned. The video was just some of the ones that annoy me personally. I’m sure there are tons more. Anyway, glad you enjoyed the video and thanks for watching!

  • greedo

    April 2, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    Great vid, Mike! As for the most annoying NES enemy, that honor would have to go to that electric eel kelp, or whatever you call it in the dam Level. So annoying. It was bad enough that you had defuse the time bombs w/in a set time, that you had to deal with that stuff. Ugh!

  • Phoenix Dude

    April 2, 2016 at 6:31 pm

    The trees from Lolo? You mean the MEDUSA. C’mon, they don’t even LOOK like trees.

    You take the time to get the real names for most of the other enemies…

    • Phoenix Dude

      April 2, 2016 at 6:32 pm

      Also I’m surprised you didn’t mention the Iron Knuckles in Zelda II

      • April 2, 2016 at 6:45 pm

        Iron Knuckles are annoying but they’re not cheap. Plus, I don’t think they’re as obscure as the red lizards. Anyway, I will fix the medusa line. I was thinking trees for some reason since they stand next to trees. haha

      • Phoenix Dude

        April 3, 2016 at 12:52 pm

        Ah, awesome. Yeah, I guess they’re more common than the red lizards.

        Sweet ninja update!

      • City Sleeps

        April 4, 2016 at 7:17 am

        Iron Knuckles is nothing, Parutamu (the knights that jump and shoot swords) is the mother of all bitches.

  • Ultronator

    April 2, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    Completely agree about the jetpack guys at the end of TMNT. There’s plenty of difficult parts in that game, but those guys really take the cake. I still hate them to this day and only when I equipped all my turtles with scroll weapons and really took my time at the end was I able to beat that game.

  • frostare

    April 2, 2016 at 10:49 pm

    Mike I’m really getting killed for this but, you should make more of these! I love anything obscure from the classics! I also enjoy finding out more about the enemies I always took for granted, like their real names. There was no way I could know that with the games being in english and me speaking spanish. One thing is for sure: we agree on they being assholes!

  • Monte Anthony

    April 3, 2016 at 1:21 am

    Great video! I write a Facebook page called Video Game Assholes. We definitely agree on some of those fuckers, ha!

  • April 3, 2016 at 6:32 am

    The red axe lizards are not too difficult especially with jump, also, I love them… In the cemetery, you can easily fill up your Xp or “p” and have level 8 sword life and magic before you even enter level three, and death mountain isn’t even hard if you know the good route

  • bud

    April 3, 2016 at 7:04 am

    Good list. The “satellites” in Jekyll/Hyde are definitely some of the worst. I think every game has its token enemy asshole, so I’m sure the list could go on forever.

  • NashKnight

    April 3, 2016 at 7:43 am

    The flying turds from Metroid are the reason why I never finished that game

  • chris hall

    April 3, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    I AM DUMB.

  • City Sleeps

    April 3, 2016 at 11:45 pm

    Zelda II the red guys in Death Mountain aren’t bad, the jumping knights that shoot their swords at you in the final palace are the biggest bitch in the game.

  • Paulballsftw

    April 4, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    Wow I have to say I really sucked at playing Nintendo games and the ones that you mentioned in the video I had no problem with them. I do remember so many other games with so many annoying things that I couldn’t get by cause they just were always in the way. I just can’t think of them on the top of my head though. I did get annoyed a few times from some of the ones you mentioned though but got over it pretty fast when I got by it.


    April 5, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    I was wondering where TMNT would end up on the list seeing as that game had more than one asshole. No worse bastards than the laser soldiers (though those porcupines come close) — very aptly described on why they Laser dudes are such assholes.

  • Lanlost

    April 5, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    Hah, Mike. I’ve been watching Cinemassacre for .. wow, AT LEAST a decade and I have to say I laughed as hard as I can ever remember with your explanation of the “Flying Space Men”. No one of a kind “anal juice excreting vaginal blood fart” style expletive needed. So simple and executed just right…

  • William T. Riker

    April 5, 2016 at 9:04 pm

    Phasers on kill. Fuck these assholes.

  • Fred . Fuchs

    April 6, 2016 at 5:59 pm

    There are so many to list… I can also think of the flying seeds in Little Nemo or the flying sandworms in Street Fighter 2010.

    • Fred . Fuchs

      April 6, 2016 at 6:13 pm

      Why some of my comments are being blocked? I send them, it says that’s done but I can’t see them. Now I tried sending the same comment again and it even says that’s a duplicate but it’s nowhere. I had to remove a part of the comment I’m replying to because otherwise it was being blocked. Is it because of some “censored” words?

      • Fred . Fuchs

        April 6, 2016 at 6:14 pm

        To get up there in TMNT you need to climb to the left side, stand on the top and then attack them with Raph or Don while standing still.

      • Fred . Fuchs

        April 6, 2016 at 6:17 pm

        It worked, nice.
        Another test:
        The jetpack guys deserve the top spot.

      • Fred . Fuchs

        April 6, 2016 at 6:22 pm

        Oooh, I found out: the censored word is “f-i-r-s-t”. I’ts because of those people who only write that word. But blocking all the comments that contain that word is obviously a big oversight. You need to fix it ASAP.

        Sorry for the mess with the comments… But it wasn’t really my fault.

  • April 10, 2016 at 3:41 am

    Against the spacemen on TMNT, you can literally approach slowly, duck, they fire, and back off. Continue until the exit.

  • Ben Albright

    April 12, 2016 at 8:10 pm

    Mike, I’m really surprised you don’t know the trick to the tanks in Batman. You can scroll them off the screen, and they’ll disappear.

  • Grandmasterp

    April 13, 2016 at 12:12 am

    That kid on the big wheel in Paperboy can be a douche sometimes, and what’s with that bitch who runs out of her house and try’s to beat you’re ass. What an asshole!

    • Grandmasterp

      April 13, 2016 at 12:20 am

      The boss just before the Joker in Batman is the biggest asshole in that one.

  • legacy81

    April 27, 2016 at 4:43 am

    Oh those gun men in TMNT were a bitch…until i finally realized u could just duck and wait, then they back off and disappear….that tunnel on the last stage of the game was the worst. eventually beat the game, but not after playing it a lot of times.

  • April 30, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    The axe lizards in Zelda 2 are so easy. The orange ones strike in a consistent pattern so you just need to strike in between. The red ones usually have a huge delay after between axe throws. Just wait for the axe and jump over it, strike once, rinse and repeat until they’re dead. The Goriyas are the true assholes in Zelda 2. Their boomerangs are so unpredictable and it’s really fun when they decide to be assholes and throw a ton in a row.

  • meinerHeld

    June 17, 2016 at 5:20 pm

    Well technically, all assholes are pretty obscure. I mean, you don’t really see them too often…

  • October 2, 2016 at 10:15 am

    hello i am a little kid and what is obsure means?

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