Mike Matei / October 22nd, 2013
October 21, 2013 at 12:02 pm
October 21, 2013 at 7:21 pm
Worthless pile of shit… stop doing that, it wasn’t funny 5 years ago and is just trolling now.
October 21, 2013 at 7:27 pm
do you even know what trolling means? a Troll is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a forum, chat room, or blog), either accidentally or with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. Some readers may characterize a post as trolling, while others may regard the same post as a legitimate contribution to the discussion, even if controversial. Like any pejorative term, it can be used as an ad hominem attack, suggesting a negative motivation. try paying attention to the language that we all agreed on.
October 21, 2013 at 7:31 pm
Trolling is a game about identity deception, albeit one that is played without the consent of most of the players. The troll attempts to pass as a legitimate participant, sharing the group’s common interests and concerns; the newsgroups members, if they are cognizant of trolls and other identity deceptions, attempt to both distinguish real from trolling postings, and upon judging a poster a troll, make the offending poster leave the group. Their success at the former depends on how well they – and the troll – understand identity cues; their success at the latter depends on whether the troll’s enjoyment is sufficiently diminished or outweighed by the costs imposed by the group. in short, it’s anti-social behavior.
October 21, 2013 at 9:31 pm
“a Troll is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community”
So, basically, you’re saying that you agree with Jacobward7 that Anthony Abozyid is being a troll, right? It certainly seemed to upset Jacobward7 when Anthony Abozyid posted that extraneous, off-topic “first” post in this online community, wouldn’t you say?
October 21, 2013 at 10:05 pm
vasha zhalkaya kucha lichinki
October 22, 2013 at 3:30 am
all you guys need to not fight on cinemasacre if you ask me. we all love the same stuff and appreciate james and his work. the ‘reply’ section isnt for trying to act like mr. tuffman. its for feedback to all of our favorite game/movie reviewer! it really bums me out seeing these comments turn so juvenile.
October 22, 2013 at 3:37 am
it was just a joke…
October 22, 2013 at 10:15 am
Owch….. if I knew you…. I’d dress in a Gorrilla mask, bust out your front window in your vehicle. Then I would take a shit right on your steering wheel so when you try to rush to work you fucking slide around and plummet to your death in an insane shitty head on collision with the EARTH! MOTHER FUCKING EARTH!!! Have a nice day, and don’t say bad shit about James. Or we will all fuck you so Goddamn hard your ass will look like Rihanna’s face after saying some stupid shit to Chris Brown.
October 22, 2013 at 11:49 am
the reason “first!” comments suck is that the start pointless arguments that waste a full page. very lame, and now I just added to the suckness. great! If I was James I would be annoyed but stuff like this.
October 22, 2013 at 5:44 pm
@ Lordjason 1986: Next time, Quit when you’re ahead. Nobody (but you), justifies people making the Idiotic Comment: “First”. If you defend such stupidity, you’d better be prepared for backlash.
October 22, 2013 at 7:14 pm
JAMES AND MIKE, PLEASE REVERSE THE COMMENT ORDER, SO THAT NEW COMMENTS SHOW UP FIRST. That way, “firsters” can get their kicks, and everybody else doesn’t have to waste their time reading “first” arguments whenever we scroll down to read the comments.
November 10, 2013 at 1:57 am
Know what’s worse than the “first” comments? The people who flip their shit on it every time like it’s helping…
March 30, 2014 at 12:38 am
April 2, 2014 at 9:33 am
Just put the comment in random orders (apart from replies). No more first, and everyone gets a chance to be heard. ?
October 21, 2013 at 8:18 pm
I agree with jacobward7 be it trolling or not it is just a waste of the first comment. James and co. don’t want to read that they want your opinions on the video.
October 21, 2013 at 9:14 pm
well now think about that statement you just said. they don’t want to read that they want your opinions on the video. well, if they are just going to do what they want, why even bother commenting in the first place to me. seems like a waste of time to me. if you don’t like that person’s comment or my opinion, fine. good for you. it’s the words jacobward7 chose to say to the guy that was wrong. your no better and no different than a common bully or an internet troll if you comment to the guy calling him a worthless pile of shit. you don’t defeat negativity with negativity, and you most definitely fail to make yourself seem smarter if all you do is insult the guy. it’s that kind of language that’s going to eventually get someone like him into trouble. if you didn’t care about my opinions in the first place or even his statement, then how do you represent yourself as being the better man by insulting the guy by calling him a worthless pile of shit? what did that accomplish? grow up.
October 21, 2013 at 9:18 pm
the quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. to some, saying things like that is only words, but to others, they can be ignored or taken too seriously. it’s the context of the language that makes it good or bad. and in his context, it was just plain mean spirited insults. say what you want to the first comment above, but the insults don’t make the situation better and it does not make the other guy any better.
October 21, 2013 at 9:25 pm
lastly, if you think James and co don’t want to read his comments or anybodies comments on wanting their opinions on the video, then why don’t you ask him instead? let James & co speak for themselves and see if it’s ok. regardless on what you and I say or what anybody else says, this is till “his” website, and they have the last say in the matter of what he thinks is ok and what isn’t. sure it can get annoying to comment on a video saying “first”, that’s fine. but when someone starts insulting anyoen commenting on any website and starts sending a bunch of hate comments, regardless if the beginning comment & the following insults was made by accident or on purpose, then you better be ready for what will eventually happen. “if you can’t take the heat, then don’t start the fire, or else you might get burned”. do I make myself clear?
October 21, 2013 at 9:39 pm
Why in the high holy hell are you going so far to defend a stupid, pointless “first” post? If you’re seriously, honestly saying that Jacobward7 responding to the guy making the idiotic “first” post by justifiably calling him a “worthless pile a shit” was in the wrong, then you, also, fit that same description pretty well. If anything, I’m beginning to think that your huge wall of text here, spanning five different replies, defending an asinine “first” post is an even bigger attempt at trolling than even the “first” post itself was.
October 21, 2013 at 10:04 pm
@ fata_morgana_pseudonym – are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite? so what if I defend this guys comment. what do you intend to do about it? complain some more? rant on another website? oh how original of you. one day, you’ll wake up and see yourself for what you really are: a loser. what’s worse: me defending a single man’s stupid comment, or one guy making yet another stupid comment? you think you’re better than me? you are just like every other human being. a few winners and a whole lot of losers. and all of us here fit that category. I have my right to my opinion, even if you don’t like it.
October 22, 2013 at 12:51 am
@LordJason1986: You sure seem passionate about defending that first commenter. I mean, seven posts just for him? You’re 27 years old too? Really? To each his own I guess…
October 22, 2013 at 1:00 am
@ Mike Gones – it’s not the comment I’m defending, it’s his right to say it. no insult is worth making even for just one simple stupid comment. in either case, it makes no difference. you’re talking to a man who has had actors & actress like his own creations, a man who signs every single petition from demand progress since the Sopa/Pipa bills, & a man who uses his pure anger in creative ways. http://epicjason20000.tumblr.com/image/64751166909
I have not had a good day, and if you don’t mind, I want to end this rather pointless discussion right now. be the better men and just leave me alone.
October 22, 2013 at 3:38 am
waste of a first comment? what? i didnt know there was a limit to how many comments we can make!! who cares if someone says first. its exciting when you pull up a video you have been waiting to watch for so long and see that youre the first to watch it! it think its cute, and i really doubt its going to hurt anyone. if its a pet peeve… its ok to brush it off… its really not hurting anyone. now can we all get back to enjoying the videos?
October 22, 2013 at 12:10 pm
@LordJason1986 “are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite? so what if I defend this guys comment. what do you intend to do about it? complain some more? rant on another website? oh how original of you. one day, you’ll wake up and see yourself for what you really are: a loser.”
What’s wrong with you?! Because of these walls of the comments you look like an obsessive loser.
October 22, 2013 at 1:13 pm
@ Damian Wayne & Tomislav Veljaćić – what is wrong with all of you! I said to please end this pointless discussion. you’ve made your point, so just fucking stop commenting and I’ll do the same. fair enough?
October 22, 2013 at 8:08 pm
I find it amusing that the person who was trying to “defend” the original offender turned the entire discussion board into a heated debate and effectively demonstrated himself as the true troll. Well played sir, well played.
October 24, 2013 at 4:42 am
Wow. Lordjason1986. What a worthless human being you are. I don’t care if you were having a bad day. Your behavior is like a child’s. Was this truly necessary? You talk about how they should have been the bigger men and stopped responding, but you should have been the bigger man to begin with to realize you were in a bad mood and maybe it wasn’t the time to take it out on people on the internet. Pathetic.
February 23, 2016 at 1:48 pm
You guys are all idiots
October 25, 2013 at 5:19 pm
No one cares…. What are you in grade school? You know, that asshole kid who completes their test, or paper, then raises their hand then says “DONE!!!”. It also shows you have nothing else better to do then, sit here on the site, consistently refreshing it around a specific time, so you can get to a freshly uploaded video to paste the word “first” with no punctuation, or proper grammar (Like a child). What needs to be done on this site is the same thing Rockstar games is doing. If you comment about something, it needs to be ON TOPIC! Otherwise, it’s grounds to remove your commenting privileges, or a ban. It would fix a bunch of things, such as people promoting their Youtube channels, or videos for moronic reasons, and would fix SPAM outright which I’m sure James, and Mike are tired of including people like you, or those who outright lie (Watch the James and Mike Play Dr.Jeykel and Mr.Hyde). I hope some change happens soon to rid this site of pointless posts, and morons…
October 29, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Pube or orgasm? It’s tough being a 13 year old.
November 24, 2013 at 10:35 am
Well, that was a wasted page.
January 20, 2014 at 10:12 pm
LONG LIVE MONSTER MADNESS!!
March 30, 2014 at 12:37 am
Hey me too!
June 22, 2014 at 11:36 am
It’s not even a joke. That’s all people want you to realize. Look at it. That’s not a joke. In fact, it’d be funnier to just post “fart” as the first comment on something.. and it’s just as childish.
October 21, 2013 at 12:03 pm
October 21, 2013 at 12:10 pm
A new AVGN on my birthday! Never thought that’d be a thing. :-]
Shame some twatmonger had to “first” the vid. ¬_¬
October 21, 2013 at 3:52 pm
Oh yea? Well I have the same birthday as the Nerd! So there!
i have the same b-day as Abe Lincoln, Charles Darwin, and it’s 2 days before lara croft’s b-day (valentines day)
October 21, 2013 at 11:06 pm
As do I. Exactly ten years after in fact, so there 😉
October 21, 2013 at 3:58 pm
Well, say thanks to modern society`s competitive nature that is bred into us through biology, school, commercials and work life… or just be happy for somebody that was happy about a doubtful achievement / lucky circumstance, that made him stand out from the others for a moment.
September 9, 2015 at 1:19 am
The nail that stands up gets hammered down.
October 21, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Finally, Been waiting what feels like forever for a new episode. good work James!
October 21, 2013 at 9:32 pm
but the tiger one was posted like a month ago
October 22, 2013 at 9:30 am
I know, but compared to when James was making two episodes a month, a month feels like forever. However i completely understand that he has many other things going for him these days such as family and the AVGN Movie.
October 21, 2013 at 12:15 pm
You make one of the shittiest months great. Look forward to this day after day and year after year. May you live like a windrammer as you fuck James.
October 22, 2013 at 12:46 am
I’m glad I’m not the only one who still thinks the “Windrammer” fan mail is fucking hilarious! 😀
October 22, 2013 at 5:32 am
What the hell are you talking about? October-December is the best time of the year.
October 21, 2013 at 12:19 pm
I live in PA and wanted to go to Eastern State Pen, but don’t want to waste money if it is shit. You are pretty close and I never heard you mention it. It is pretty famous maybe you could poke your head in and give a blog review or something. Im sure you are too busy to wipe your ass correctly so I understand just an idea.
October 21, 2013 at 6:17 pm
I went a couple years ago, and it was a ton of fun. Totally worth the money.
October 21, 2013 at 12:24 pm
October 21, 2013 at 12:25 pm
October 21, 2013 at 12:28 pm
I JUST BOUGHT THAT ALIEN 3 ON THE NES ON SATURDAY!!!
I still love this game. It has it’s flaws (LJN of course, and that time limit sucks) but it is a pretty fun nonlinear-style game and the graphics are fun to look at. Sorry James but you made a little mistake. That time/player counter at the bottom is actually time/prisoners. I’m not mad, I just saying (I love ya James). It may have not followed the movie exactly, but I think they were trying to insert Aliens into the game (since it was in 1986 and the NES was in its early years, so we never got an actual Aliens game on the home consoles). Alien Trilogy is AWESOME! Another FANTASTIC Alien game is Alien 3 on the SNES, check it out.
October 21, 2013 at 1:44 pm
The snes version isnt much better. It just replaces rescuing prisoners with welding doors. Lol. That always made me laugh since they weld 1 or 2 doors shut in the movie, and then the game thats almost all you ever do is weld doors
October 21, 2013 at 5:11 pm
You must have played the SNES version for about 5 minutes. There were a number of missions which you could complete. One of them was welding doors shut to seal off an area, but there were others like rescuing prisoners, repairing junction boxes, destroying alien eggs in infested corridors, etc. and you could complete the missions in any order.
The SNES version of Alien 3 was pretty awesome and was a world away from the NES version the nerd reviewed.
October 21, 2013 at 5:41 pm
I played it for a bit, enough to fight a few of the queen bosses. I remember there being a variety of missions, but most of them were welding doors shut. Snes game sucked just as bad, pal.
October 21, 2013 at 5:53 pm
Not to mention, all the missions are the same except for destroying eggs. Goto room X and interact with (door/fusebox/prisoner) wow, what a variety. I just happen to think of welding doors more often since its actually something they did in the movie.
October 22, 2013 at 4:37 pm
I not bad-mouthing you or anything, so don’t get angry. I think it is very underrated. Now what you said is true, there is a lot of welding (doors, junction boxes, fuse boxes, etc.) But there was also hooking up a power source to a generator, saving prisoners, destroying eggs, destroying a queen. The graphics were great (and most were areas taken from the movie Alien 3). The music was fantastic. It had a feel like Megaman where you could complete the missions in whatever order you wanted. It had an easy password system. The controls were great (not as good as Contra but still really good). Instead of having to switch between weapons, each button controlled a weapon ( you could also carry multiple clips of bullets and grenades and had an upgradable flamethrower.) It’s not a perfect game, I know, but considering all the failed attempts at making a side-scrolling shooter, this is one of the better ones. I see your point, so if you don’t like it that’s fine. I still recommend it to people, though. Another thing: it has Hudson say “GAME OVER, MAN” when you die. That’s awesome!!!
October 21, 2013 at 12:44 pm
I really like your reaction at the LJN logo with the red and flashing lights. So intense.
October 21, 2013 at 12:47 pm
The Nerd sacrificed himself to save us all from LJN
October 21, 2013 at 12:53 pm
i like alien 3 the movie 🙁
the steadycam shots are awesome!
October 21, 2013 at 1:23 pm
You floor me with blue balls skit. Great Nerd episode.
October 21, 2013 at 1:31 pm
Haha omg two of my favorite AVGN moments are when he reveals the LJN logo in the bill and ted episode and now in this one! ROFL
October 21, 2013 at 1:37 pm
The graphics on this version of Alien 3 are abysmal, Alien 3 for the Sega Genesis was quite good as far as that was concerned but the ASSNESS that game contained was just inhumane. I find it quite interesting the game does have a ton of similarities but a different company made it!! No rainbow of death attached!
October 21, 2013 at 1:38 pm
“But the game gives you no indication how many prisoners are left to rescue.”
rescues a prisoner
October 21, 2013 at 3:04 pm
PR is Player.
October 21, 2013 at 7:32 pm
Well, I’m not sure if I’m missing a joke here, but I dug up the game’s manual from the internet, and it’s quite clear about it: http://i.imgur.com/wlvECOf.png
Just wanted to point that out.
October 21, 2013 at 1:50 pm
Thk for the birthday gift
October 21, 2013 at 1:51 pm
Yeh that becuz the 3rd Aliens movie was not a Cameron film!!! lol
October 21, 2013 at 2:00 pm
LMFAO!!! EPIC ending James
October 21, 2013 at 2:06 pm
Cool Review , BTW the music was composed by Jeroen Tel, a fucking SID legend
October 21, 2013 at 2:24 pm
That ending was FUCKIN’ Awesome! Both for Satires-sake and just ’cause hell, yeah, Cinemassacre! 😀 that should be the new lead-up to the logo every time!
October 21, 2013 at 2:36 pm
I see what you did here with the strobe, oh yeah and the Monster Madness continuity. Really two-gear diarrhea is bullshit, even games that could’ve been playable like Zool on SNES suck because of this
October 21, 2013 at 2:40 pm
AVGN and Monster Madness! Thanks James! Nice video!
October 21, 2013 at 2:55 pm
New episode = im happy
October 21, 2013 at 2:57 pm
This episode had probably the most sex jokes.
October 21, 2013 at 3:11 pm
Yeah i thought so myself. Mostly that “your mum bent over getting fucked” joke.
October 21, 2013 at 3:08 pm
what is the song at the end? i cant remember if it is from the movie
That’s what I was waiting for!! 😀
October 21, 2013 at 3:17 pm
awesome job James. what a cool surprise for Halloween. however, I do have only a couple things to point out that I must address.
#1 – the SNES port was way better. I wonder at times why you only look at the NES versions of some games while they tend to be better on the SNES. just like when he pointed out how bad Hook was on NES when again it was way better on the SNES.
& #2 – here’s a strong suggestion James. if you truly hate LJN that much, then why not make the next review based on them to see if there is any good LJN games out there. I think it’s about time to really address to them directly and see if there are any good LJN games out there. and believe it or not James, there are some good LJN games, just some. the first one everyone tends to like, including myself, is Maximum Carnage. True Lies on SNES, WWF on Genesis & SNES, The Punisher on NES, Alien 3 on SNES, Terminator 2 Arcade on Genesis & SNES, and others I have not mentioned.
maybe instead of dragging this LJN hatred out even further, why not just simply make the next episode about them and address some good games under their wing James? I think it’s time you address them and move on because it’s getting old really fast. that’s my suggestion James, make the next episode based on LJN. that would be epic!
October 21, 2013 at 3:28 pm
Don’t forget Turrican 3 (or Mega Turrican). And there was Alien Breed. And Tower Assault. The best alien video game I’ve played was on the Commodore 64. Every level was different. With flying through rings, protecting marines while they cut through an iron door, finding the little girl and finish the alien queen… Such a great game that was.
October 21, 2013 at 3:40 pm
Awesome, just in time for Monster Madness.
October 21, 2013 at 3:41 pm
After all these years the question is finally asked… do buffalos even get diarrhea?
October 21, 2013 at 3:45 pm
Ljn is so bad it’s scary
October 21, 2013 at 3:50 pm
Luv it 😀 – Though I expected that the LJN rainbow would burst from James` chest in the end … I`m looking forward to another *covers mouth* Monster Madness-part and hope James will someday review “Death Machine” or the “Tremors”-series …
October 21, 2013 at 3:51 pm
That was the sickest outro ever!!!!!
October 21, 2013 at 4:00 pm
I recall playing Alien 3 on the Sega megadrive and, tbh, it wasn’t really that bad. Iirc, there was even an indicator to how many people were left, as well as multiple weapons and different levels.
October 21, 2013 at 4:06 pm
This was a good nerd episode, rock on!
October 21, 2013 at 4:09 pm
fuck yeah he finally reviews one of my favorite games ( nostalgia + i love aliens)
this game really has some of the best music and yeah the gameplay is trial and error but it’s different in the very least. pretty ok for an ljn game.
ps: the pr really does mean prisoners left , and the next levels change a bit (i played this so much i can finish it in my sleep)
nice review, ty
October 21, 2013 at 4:32 pm
October 21, 2013 at 4:34 pm
Now James, I really Love You and don’t wanna break any joys or anything… But.. this was one of the shitty games I have tortured myself as well as a kid, with really long sessions.. Actually the “Pr” at the bottom of screen does not tell You how many lives You have… It IS the remaining prisoner count. Pr = Prisoner. The thing You are bitching about all video, in front of your eyes… And also, You should have shown the other levels in more detail, they actually do look nicer and made me kinda like the game as a kid. Now I agree though – it’s goat puke..
October 21, 2013 at 4:50 pm
Or they could have changed the genre too. Not all games are action games. Could have been an adventure horror game, like Clock Tower on SNES.
October 21, 2013 at 4:54 pm
Actually, there is a prisoner count. It’s flashing alongside the time, the Pr. 03 thing.
October 21, 2013 at 4:55 pm
Another terrible episode, he’s clearly playing badly just for something to complain about, it clearly alternates between time left and prisoners remaining in the display, terrible.
November 6, 2013 at 11:45 pm
Playing badly just for the hell of it? You certainly picked the wrong game to say that to!
Really, anyone would screw up when you have 2 feet ahead of them to see anything.
October 21, 2013 at 5:02 pm
I SWEAR I SCREAMED AT THE LJN LOGO
October 21, 2013 at 5:10 pm
I literally said “Oh Fuck” when I saw that ungodly rainbow on the game cartridge.
October 21, 2013 at 5:16 pm
Thank you for making my dream come true! 😀
all hail ljn
October 21, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Loved the Nerd review (as always), but I wish he had checked out the SNES version at the end as that was a pretty good game and fixed a lot of the issues he brings up with the NES version (Doors could actually be entered, there was a map screen, you had the ability to fire while climbing ladders, awesome graphics etc.)
The SNES version was developed by Probe and was basically a completely different game (even though it was published by LJN )
October 21, 2013 at 5:19 pm
oh, i remember this game, hard as hell and really confusing lay out that doesnt tell you what to do.
October 21, 2013 at 5:56 pm
An AVGN halloween special, one of the big reasons Halloween is my favorite time of the year. 😀
October 21, 2013 at 5:57 pm
“No prisoner counter”
6:30, Pr:03 -> Prisoner gets saved, Pr:02
October 21, 2013 at 5:58 pm
nice wasnt expecting a nerd video with my monster madness, the ending was classic
October 21, 2013 at 5:59 pm
What the fuck i hate ljn.
October 21, 2013 at 6:04 pm
Nice one! Thanks, James! I guess all the whiners that called for another “classic” AVGN video should be satisfied now.
October 21, 2013 at 6:32 pm
Nice review, I love how you did the Alien game while you were reviewing the films…brilliant! This one had me laughing quite a bit, but then one can always trust an LJN game to provide lots of fodder! Great ending!
I thought Shit Pickle was gonna come outta tha chest = ( great episode )
October 21, 2013 at 6:44 pm
Nice, a new episode!
October 21, 2013 at 6:57 pm
So awesome and quite honestly, Monster Madness should be on TV!
October 21, 2013 at 6:59 pm
I can’t understand what you say when you cough, damn! 😀
October 21, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Actually, there kind of was an official Aliens game for the NES.
It was an unreleased Famicom Disk System version made by Square, but it was a port of an Activision game for some computer system. So, don’t expect it to be anything actually good.
Just the first youtube link on the game
October 21, 2013 at 7:09 pm
October 21, 2013 at 7:42 pm
October 21, 2013 at 7:43 pm
it does show how many prisoners are left….it flashes o the player time thing and says pr:04 and shit