Mrs Nerd talks about Food

James / February 22nd, 2012

Mrs Nerd’s Cinemassacre Recipes:

I think sharing some Cinemassacre Recipes is a great Mrs Nerd blog because for me, food is a trigger for memories and a great springboard for some behind-the-scenes stories. I was also really psyched to see how many people were intrigued by my cooking and interested in my recipes after my initial introduction. Without a doubt, my favorite job at Cinemassacre Central is to play craft services. Ya know, the fancy industry term for keeping everyone fed, and comfortable. So, I thought it would be fun to create a Cinemassacre Menu. Starting at breakfast through to dessert, peppering in some fun stories to go with the recipes. I wouldn’t suggest that you eat all of this in one day, of course, as many of the items are special treats to be enjoyed on a hard day or special occasion and not part of a balanced and healthy diet. Personally, with our busy schedules, we are lucky if we get one good, home-cooked meal per day and just enough high protein snacks to keep us alive, but when we do get to treat ourselves, these are some of the things we like.

A Food related Fun Fact: James once went super fanboy over an extra feature on the Sin City DVD of Robert Rodriquez cooking breakfast burritos in his own personal kitchen. Upon watching this extra feature, James rushed to the grocery store to get every last ingredient so he could follow the video and make his own Rodriquez breakfast burritos. So, perhaps some of you will find yourself in this situation making the foods that James and the crew love. So, here it is, from start to finish, a menu that reminds me of some fun Cinemassacre moments and the stories to accompany them. Grub up!

I knew James and I would be a good match the first time he cooked me breakfast. I’d like to mention that he had also cooked me dinner before, but it was not quite as impressive. (He warmed up two meatballs with marinara sauce that his mother had made. No pasta, no salad, just meatballs.) This ended up working out for us though since I love to cook, but am not too interested in breakfast. I’m not much of a morning person so I’m quite content with my Godzilla sized coffee and nothing else. James, however, waking up at the crack of noon, requires a full breakfast to kick-start his genius. One of James’ classic breakfast items I affectionately call “James’ Breakfast Mess”. Its kind of a spin-off of those Robert Rodriguez Breakfast Burritos and despite the name, it is completely delicious.

James’ Breakfast Mess (serves 2ish)
6 eggs, scrambled
olive oil
1 c. diced potatoes, peeled and boiled
½ c. jalapeno pepper, diced
½ c. mushrooms, sliced
½ c. diced pork roll (if you’re from the Philadelphia area, you know what this is) or ham (from yous guys not from Philly)
3 slices of mild cheese
splash of milk
salt and pepper to taste
– Coat the bottom of a skillet with olive oil. Saute pepper, mushrooms, and pork roll/ham. Add the boiled potatoes and sauté until golden brown. In a separate bowl, scramble the eggs. Add a splash of milk and tear the 3 slices cheese into the egg/milk mixture. (this is the super secret James method) Slowly add the egg/milk/cheese mixture into the skillet and stir until eggs are cooked. Remove from the heat and serve. It looks a mess, but its quite good.

Serve with a cup of the famous James’ Hot Tea:
Prepared English Breakfast Tea
2 Tbsp of vanilla ice cream melted
1 tsp of honey

James and I both have similar feelings for the city of Philadelphia. Simply put – it is our home. We’ve both been to a lot of places in the world and are currently living in Los Angeles. We have considered moving permanently (particularly while cursing the bone chilling wind and snow mid January) but will never feel the same way about another city as long as we live. Philadelphia is kind of like an eccentric, drunken uncle. He’s definitely not the most elegant, he has his fair share of faults and certainly smells of booze and urine, but you love him in a way you can’t explain. For both of us it was the first place we ever lived away from our families and were on our own. It was the city that nurtured our artistic dreams and led us to each other, our friends and essentially the life we live today. When you’re talking food, I don’t think there is anything more quintessential to Philly than the cheese steak. Every Philadelphian will tell you that you must choose a steak and remain loyal to it. We take loyalty quite seriously in the city of brotherly love. James and I are Pat’s people. Its simple, no-frills façade and “neighborly” service keep us coming back year after year. Never have I felt more at home than when standing in line at 2:30 in the morning on the corner of 8th and Passyunk, freezing my ass off and knowing that only seconds after uttering the sacred phrase “wiz witout,” I will be wrapping my lips around heaven itself. Wiz witout simply means cheese wiz without onions while James prefers his provy wit, meaning Provolone cheese with onions.
If you find yourself unable to visit Philadelphia you can attempt to make your own with this recipe although I can promise you it will not taste the same. It’s a decent impression, but not the real thing.

Philly Cheese steak – Wiz witout and a provy wit (Serves 2)
2 crusty hoagie rolls
1 lb of thinly sliced ribeye steak
1 Tbsp finely diced onion
olive oil
4 slices good Italian provolone cheese
¼ c. heated cheese whiz (yea, that orange artery clogging goodness)
clean, unused paint mixing stick

Preheat a large griddle to medium heat. Coat the bottom with olive oil. Sauté the onions until translucent and then remove from the griddle and set aside. Distribute the sliced steak in a single layer, sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste and sauté until cooked through. In one hoagie roll layer the 4 slices of provolone, half of the cooked steak and the onions (this is James’ choice – Provy wit). In the other roll layer the other half of the steak. Then to be completely authentic coat the paint stick in cheese whiz and smear it through the steak… or you could just warm it up and pour it over the top.

Drink: Orange Gatorade
I always have tons of this on hand for all the sweaty, dehydrated and overworked boys filming in hot costumes and under hot lights.

Just about everyday, whether the crew is over or it is just James and I, I cook dinner. It is my Zen hour. Some people meditate, I cook dinner. Even though I have a lot of ideas and recipes floating around in my head that I’m eager to try out, I almost always ask James what he would like for diner and he usually says some type of seafood. One of his favorites is shrimp very simply prepared with Old Bay seasoning. His all time favorite though is probably Beer Battered Fish. This is a dish that is perfect to eat when intoxicated, but not to prepare when intoxicated. You see, a few years back James and I had been out in the city enjoying a few beverages with friends. When we stumbled off the train and back to our apartment we realized that we were both a little hungry. It was probably close to 1AM at this point so James thought he was being a smartass by requesting his usual beer battered fish at such an hour, not expecting me to actually make it. I thought nothing of it though and got to work. James put on some Metallica and we were soon having a good time rocking out and cooking. Not paying as much attention as I should, the oil got a bit hot and started to spatter. At the same time the cat (yes, the infamous Boo) ran through the kitchen and I uttered the now fondly remembered phrase “Watch out Boo, Mommy’s Drunk n’ Makin’ Fish”. Its kind of an inside joke and I’m still not quite sure why James finds this so incredibly comedic, but he still repeats the story every time I make the dish. That night it may have come out a little crispier than usual, but I think we will remember that story for a long time.

Shrimp with Old Bay
½ lb peeled, deveined shrimp coated in olive oil and Old Bay Seasoning to taste. Spread out on a baking sheet and roast in a 400 degree Fahrenheit oven until just pink indicating they are cooked through. We aren’t really condiment people so we’d just munch on those plain, but I supposed you could rock a nice cocktail sauce or tartar sauce to go with them.

Beer Battered Fish
2 Filets of any firm, white fish you desire. I typically use Tilapia because it’s cheap, but cod would work nicely also. Patted dry with a paper towel.

Oil for frying: If you have a deep fryer, this is probably easiest. Just prepare according to the directions. I don’t have one of those so I typically use a large stockpot and put enough vegetable or canola oil in the pot to come approximately 2 – 3 inches up the side. Preheat the oil on medium to high heat. To test if the oil is ready, toss a little scrap of bread the size of a coin into the oil. It should float on the top and sizzle a little becoming golden brown. If it sinks or does nothing and doesn’t start to brown, the oil is not hot enough. If it fries up and turns too dark too quickly, the oil is too hot and needs to cool. WARNING: Frying is not safe, do this with caution, and at your own risk. Children should not try this. (Especially cause it has booze in it too, ya sillies!) Its probably safest and easiest if you just google how to fry something and go by those directions.

1 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp salt
1 tsp. course black pepper
1 egg
1 cup of beer (your choice)
– Whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, pepper. Then add beer and egg slowly to create a batter. Soak fish filets in batter for 5 minutes and then deep fry in vegetable oil per the directions above. Drain excess oil on plate lined with paper towels before serving.

Side Dish:
Motherfucker Mike’s favorite Spinach and White Beans
Olive oil
A 6 oz. bag of fresh baby spinach
¼ c. diced turkey pepperoni
2 Tbsp minced garlic
¼ c. diced onion
1 c. halved cherry tomatoes (tri-color heirloom variety makes it purty to look at, but you can use plain red ones if you want)
1 can drained and rinsed white beans (cannellini beans)
– Coat a large sauté pan with olive oil and sauté onion, garlic and pepperoni over medium heat until onions are translucent but do not burn the garlic. Add the tomatoes and continue to sauté until they cook down a little bit. Then add the spinach and wilt down. Lastly add the white beans and heat through stirring continuously.

Nice cold bottle of Rolling Rock – duh! Actually any beer will do since they are a staple at the Rolfe residence. Yuengling Lager is probably our favorite, cheap, classic beer to have around. I think my all time favorite beer though is either Weihenstephan hefeweisen or Schneider Weiss and James’ is probably Hofbrau original or possibly Guinness.

As I mentioned, I’m big into the gourmet cupcake fad and enjoy experimenting with strange and unique flavors. I also like to bake something special for my friends on their birthdays. This is how I came up with my now famous Mt. Dew Cupcakes. You all know Matt Conant, collaborator on many Cinemassacre Productions and one of the co-creators and stars of OverAnalyzers. What you may not know is that his veins are coursing with Mt. Dew. I truly think that if you were to attempt to take a vile of his blood, it would in fact yield a lime-green, caffeinated liquid. So when his birthday rolled around, I knew I had to try to bake something with Mt. Dew in it. The result was surprisingly really good.

Mt. Dew Cupcakes
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup mt. dew
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
2 large eggs
zest of 1 lemon and 1 lime
lime green food coloring (mix green and yellow until desired neon color of Mt. Dew) *can omit, but the color adds to the novelty of it.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F
2. Mix together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
3. In a large bowl, beat butter with sugar. Mix in the eggs, one at time, beating well after each addition. Gently mix in flour mixture alternately with the mt. dew.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 20 minutes.

1 cup heavy or whipping cream
1 cups confectioners’ sugar
zest of 1 lemon and 1 lime
lime green food coloring
2 tablespoons mt. dew

In a large, chilled bowl beat the cream until it thickens, add confectioners’ sugar, zest and mt. dew. Continue beating until thick and fluffy.

***Makes 24 mini cupcakes almost exactly. Never tried it with a full sized cupcake, but my guess is that I’d work out fine.


-Mrs Nerd


  • omega_apex

    February 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    All of this stuff sounds really good! I definitely want to give it a shot…might make a special episode of Poor Man’s Meals dedicated to these recipes!

  • BradCunningham

    February 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    RECIPES! BOO DIGGITY! THANK YOU Mrs. Nerd!!!!! Cupcakes, here I come!

  • RichardKaltenbock

    February 22, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    I really want to try those Mtn Dew Cupcakes. they sound so damn good.

  • thistrailersucks

    February 22, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    New Post at follow my blog ppl!!!

    • dominikkpl

      February 22, 2012 at 6:46 pm

      @thistrailersucks Your blog is pathetic, stop spamming on Cinemassacre !

    • Olivania

      February 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

       @thistrailersucks No, I won’t.

  • Hazard

    February 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    What a wate of time..

    • wildside50

      February 22, 2012 at 4:20 pm

      @Hazard What, your life?

    • NEORaven667

      February 22, 2012 at 5:23 pm

      @Hazard totally agree It’s a good waste of time and one that you can eat afterwards 😀 I think im gonna waste my time trying these out

    • Devil_Rising

      February 22, 2012 at 5:29 pm

      @Hazard What’s the matter? Do you far prefer McDonald’s? Personally, I WISH I could get a good home cooked meal every day of my life. I’d hardly ever eat out if I could.Also….if you really think this post was a waste of time, why read it? Oh right…..trolling. Gotcha.

    • Fata Morgana

      February 22, 2012 at 8:56 pm

      @Hazard What’s a “wate” of time?

    • KirklandJames

      February 23, 2012 at 5:30 am

      @Hazard *waste

  • 3DDotNikkiWolf

    February 22, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    Though I’m not much of a cooking person, I would like to try some of this stuff out. Thanks for sharing ^w^

  • xObserveRx

    February 22, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    The fish sounds fantastic, as do the the cupcakes. I’m not a fan of jalapenos so I would probably omit them from the breakfast mess, but it also sounds great. James is lucky to have someone who is really into cooking. I mean, come on, who DOESN’T like eating?!

  • TerrifyerX07

    February 22, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    Now I gotta find me a nice broad to whip all this up

  • NathanielLenox

    February 22, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Any cooking recipie I ever get my hands on is nothing more than an excuse for me to burn down the neighborhood. Not much in the way of skill in cooking, but it all sounds delicious. Maybe I will tell the fire department to standby, and I’ll give it a go.

  • NormanPlechner

    February 22, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Pat’s is 9th and Passyunk, but close enough. As another Philadelphia native I prefer Steve’s or Tony Luke’s (not the one at CBP) but I recently found out that Chink’s on Torresdale (couple streets north of Comly where I live) is actually my new favorite. It’s hard to get a good cheese steak unless you hit a spot that actually specializes in them, or else you get that frozen scrambled mess.

  • FedericoRodriguez

    February 22, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    my god..mountain dew cupcakes..its happened…

  • philradz

    February 22, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    6 Eggs?! Dear God, James will have a heart attack by 40.

    • Devil_Rising

      February 22, 2012 at 5:28 pm

      @philradz Eggs are amazing. As is bacon. Get some exercise, drink plenty of water, and it’s not as much of a problem. Plus….I doubt he eats this every single day.

    • martinlupo

      February 22, 2012 at 8:06 pm

      @philradz If you look at the top of the recipe it says serves 2

  • encey

    February 22, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    This is totally awesome. Can I come over for dinner? I’m a good chopper! (and chomper.) 🙂

  • Marvipe

    February 22, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    It’s really awesome to hear that you guys love your home so much. I can relate; no matter how cold and miserable it gets in the winter, I am and will always be a Bostonian. I know what you guys mean when you say you’re really proud and fond of your home.

  • Devil_Rising

    February 22, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    God damn. I really need A) a nice house with a huge kitchen, and B) a good woman who really loves to cook (as I also do). Great stuff, Mrs. Nerd.

    Also, it’s funny about James and those burritos. There was a special feature on Spanglish of all movies (it’s actually rather good), where Adam Sandler (who played a gourmet chef in the movie), is hanging with a real chef, showing how to make these awesome sandwiches with fried egg that he made in the movie. I STILL to this day have not tried it out myself, but damn did it look delicious!

    • Devil_Rising

      February 22, 2012 at 5:27 pm

      P.S. It’s funny he loves Old Bay. That shit is THE staple of Baltimore. lol

    • February 22, 2012 at 5:53 pm

      @Devil_Rising I made a sandwich based on that movie! It was delicious!! I agree that Spanglish I think was underrated, I found it to be pretty darn good.

  • February 22, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    I’ve seen so many shows on Pat’s and the heated cheese steak debates, so I knew exactly what you were talking about when you said wiz witout. Those shows make my mouth water everytime, I’d love to try a true cheese steak. I’m definitely going to have to try those Mt. Dew cupcakes, my husband would LOVE them.

  • MegAtronia

    February 22, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    Oh man, cant believe the nerd lets his woman on here to spread womanly crap…get back to the kitchen and feed you man, and shut up please. Nobody is interessted

    • Gianagum

      February 22, 2012 at 6:07 pm

      @MegAtronia You’re a horrid person, you know that?

    • Gianagum

      February 22, 2012 at 6:07 pm

      @MegAtronia You’re a horrid person, you know that?

    • Fata Morgana

      February 22, 2012 at 8:55 pm

      @MegAtronia Wow, you are an incredible, outrageous asshat.

    • MarkCarchidi

      February 22, 2012 at 10:08 pm

      @MegAtronia Yes you deserve to die and I hope you burn in he’ll you sexist piece if shit >:(

    • LordMoe

      February 22, 2012 at 10:17 pm

      @MegAtronia wait, are you a girl?

      way to set women back another 50 years.

    • JadeGryphon

      February 22, 2012 at 11:44 pm

      @MegAtronia Seriously man? It’s his site, he’ll run it how he wants. And excuse me? “Nobody” is interested? WELL HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…. I see PLENTY of people who interested in her recipes. Oh. Except YOU. Grow a f*cking brain, grow the f*ck up, and shut the f*ck up, you sexist dickhole fuckface. Hope ya burn in hell, have a nice day. C:

      • JadeGryphon

        February 22, 2012 at 11:48 pm

        @MegAtronia * Man…wait…wait…the OP of the comment’s a woman? Well, from one woman (myself) to another…”women” like you need a slap to the face. With a golf cart. While being tied to the freeway. At rush hour. ^^

    • Enskyment

      February 23, 2012 at 1:45 am

      @MegAtronia speak for yourself. I was interested. and you’re nothing but a joke posting on here.

      Please leave the comments page for the real fans of Cinemassacre and the nerd because no real fan would say such offensive things on here, especially about his own loving wife.

    • AppleJacks

      February 24, 2012 at 8:04 pm

      I’ll tell you what nobody’s interested in…your chauvanistic pig comments and your equally stupid face. Prescribe some Icy Hot for that sick burn, bro.

  • Slayer40k

    February 22, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    Please make a video tutorial (I know your camara shy and don’t like to feature in videos) but I seriously want to make these move for move along with any other cool recipes you got. For people hating this kind of things you got to remember this isn’t James doing them, it maybe his website but it’s his family and friends showing off their skills and interest’s. just as we fell in love with James’s pastion for film making and comedy with video games. I’ve already grown to love Mike’s extended knowledge about everything months back and already starting to love Mrs Nerd’s (Sorry can’t remember name) awesome attitude and skills and can see James is lucky to have someone like her. So all you trolls and haters may sod off and hold back your “Cinemassacre is dead, or It’s becoming a chick website or James doesn’t give a damn”. This is but the great expanstion of cinemassacre in all fields of interest and I’m looking forward to seeing more, and I’m sure a lot more people are.

    BTW I’m still laughing from the phase “Watch out Boo, Mommy’s Drunk n’ Makin’ Fish” that should be made into a cinemassacre shirt

  • OldInsight

    February 22, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    I must try Mt. Dew cupcakes. Even though it’s not my favorite drink, the recipe caught my interest!

  • JonTripp

    February 22, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    Hey comment posters: spell-check, use it.

  • theretrogamer14

    February 22, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    oh my god I have to try out those Mt. Dew Cup Cakes along with, The Breakfast Mess and Motherfucker Mike’s fav!

  • February 22, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    As for the Mountain Dew cupcakes, “suprisingly good” is an understatement. Now that I know the secret recipe, there’s a good chance I will never eat anything else again.

  • NickoBergy

    February 22, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    to all the people hating on, have some respect, these recipes are the fuel to jame’s creative genius.. and to Mrs Nerd, keep up the great work 🙂

  • martinlupo

    February 22, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Another great recipe that includes beer is Jailhouse chicken, basically you slow roast a whole chicken, while a full can of beer is shoved up its ass. This is not a joke, i’ve actually made this and its delicious 😀

    • Big McLargehuge

      February 22, 2012 at 8:14 pm

      @martinlupo Yeah, best chicken ever!! The best way is use the indirect heating method on the barbeque with some hickory smoke. Just sit the bird on the can for about 2 hours… yummy!

  • JoeTitterton

    February 22, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    Lol this is great, thanks Mrs. Nerd!

  • DavidDiFrancesco

    February 22, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Mt. Dew cupcakes, now thats a first! I can’t imagine what they would taste like, only way to find out! Most interesting baked good I’ve heard!

  • Fata Morgana

    February 22, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    Only things missing from this post are pictures of the dishes.

  • Starcraft39

    February 22, 2012 at 9:19 pm

    I did NOT get very far before I thought… HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS MOTHER ONLY GAVE MEATBALLS!!! My mom gives me food to give to my girlfriend’s on a regular basis! If my mom gave me cookies and meatballs, hell yes my girlfriend would make some sauce and pasta!

    I’m just kidding of course, you sound very much like the girl I want to marry.

    Best of luck.

  • Prophet Wing

    February 22, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    Dang, all these recipes are making me hungry, and I just had a light snack! You really sell the recipes well, Mrs. Rolfe! A++!

    As for the “Drunk n’ Makin’ Fish” joke, I find it humorous as well, albeit for a different reason than James does (James, if you’re reading this, please forgive me for putting words in your mouth), and that reason is just pure randomness. (What can I say, I find “The Goon Show” hysterical.)

  • February 23, 2012 at 12:35 am

    I need the recipe for the “Gyromite Sauce” (tzatziki)). You brought it over for New Year’s Eve with a veggie plate. We had devoured about half of it when you casually mentioned , “Yeah, James asked me to make a shitload of this for one of his videos,” to which I replied, in horror, “What the hell did James do with a shitload of white creamy stuff in a Nerd videos?” All of a sudden, everyone in the room turned sickly pale…except for Lee, who started laughing hysterically and replied, “Yeah, hasn’t Bugs Bunny taken enough abuse?”

    • mrs_nerd

      February 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

      @StephanieYuhas haha! That’s our Lee! I have to say that whole Gyro ended up being pretty delicious. I tried really hard to be as authentic as possible. I’ll have to pass that recipe on sometime also. For now, the tzatziki is really simple: 1 cup plain greek yogurt (I used nonfat), 1 small cucumber (peeled and diced into the tiniest cubes you can manage), 1/2 tsp. cumin powder, 1/2 tsp. garlic powder and salt and pepper to taste. Mix it all together and serve with veggies or pita chips.

  • Piet

    February 23, 2012 at 12:36 am

    Wow..! Who have guessed Mrs. Nerd likes Weihenstephan Hefeweizen. That beer is originally brewed in my Hometown and considering the facts that my hometown and yours, Mrs. Nerd is about 20000 miles and across the big lake from each other, makes me happy. Who here in Freising would have dream that this noble drop of Beer is so well known in the US. That makes kinda proud. Thank you, Mrs. Nerd 🙂

  • Doogrisa

    February 23, 2012 at 12:38 am

    I’m hungry now. Thanks for sharing Mrs. Rolfe.

  • Nexusflame

    February 23, 2012 at 1:06 am

    James hit the jackpot with this one.. your wife is an epic find =)

  • Flarkman383

    February 23, 2012 at 1:27 am

    Oh my god, I am so hungry, Those recipes look awesome! I don’t see why some people are complaining about Mrs. Nerd and all that.I like the fact that Cinemassacre’s horizon is widening.

    I think people are worried that james will stop making videos or something, which is not gonna happen. The reason he hasnt been making AVGN videos for a long time is because he is working on the AVGN movie and personally, I like the other horror stuff more than AVGN. (they are both great though)

  • NathanielFreed

    February 23, 2012 at 1:33 am

    Pork Roll, huh… Just like the whole Soda thing.

    Pittsburgh will NEVER fall in our superior nomenclature. Yinz got yourselves a war!

  • NathanielFreed

    February 23, 2012 at 1:34 am

    Although those recipes sound quite nice, I might try the breakfast one tomorrow.

  • lkjlksdjf

    February 23, 2012 at 1:40 am

    I want to see curse words and profainity while playing video game. i dont want to see no food recipies.


    Mrs Nerd wrote this:

    Frosting: 1 cup heavy or whipping cream 1 cups confectioners’ sugar zest of 1 lemon and 1 lime lime green food coloring 2 tablespoons mt. dew

    Convert into this:

    Fucking Frosting: 1 heavy ass cup or whipping cream coming out your dick, 1 cup sugar in your mother’s lemon, shit load of fuck lime coloring, and 2 girls and 1 cup of mt. dew.

    • AppleJacks

      February 24, 2012 at 7:59 pm

       @lkjlksdjf Your mother must be so proud.

    • Messmon

      February 25, 2012 at 1:18 pm

       @lkjlksdjf That’s not even funny.

  • laughs

    February 23, 2012 at 1:45 am

    I’m definitely going to give that breakfast recipe a try. Question though… I noticed you said, “Motherfucker Mike.” Why did he drop the “Motherfucker” from his name, and his movie reviews?

    • February 23, 2012 at 8:27 am

      @laughs He answered this on his Reddit Q&A. Basically, the name came from his tendency to cheat in Board James. Aka, being a motherfuckin’ cheater. After that, the nickname was adopted and thus everyone on the site knows it. However, those people who hadn’t seen Board James just thought the name was being vulgar just for the sake of it. (Aka not seeing it in context)

      He doesn’t mind peeps still calling him Motherfucker Mike, but he has dropped the name.

      • laughs

        February 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

        @Jingleboy Thank you, sir!

  • ValisHD

    February 23, 2012 at 2:22 am

    Philly Cheese steak Om nom nom nom nom

  • PDL

    February 23, 2012 at 2:24 am

    I really enjoyed reading that. Thanks for sharing, Mrs. Nerd. And a Motherfucker Mike reference as well. I haven’t heard those words uttered around Cinemassacre for weeks. “Mike from’s favorite Spinach and White Beans” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it 😉 You just took me back to the past, I think.

  • BritishVideoGameNerd

    February 23, 2012 at 3:57 am

    Ice cream in the tea? For Breakfast?


  • metalcommand

    February 23, 2012 at 4:32 am

    If I would that all in the morning, I would puke my guts out. I cannot eat normal bread in the morning, let alone so many eggs….The beer battered fish sounds delicious though!

    • metalcommand

      February 23, 2012 at 4:35 am

      I accidentally the whole thing.

    • metalcommand

      February 23, 2012 at 4:35 am

      I accidentally the whole thing.

  • Erwinator

    February 23, 2012 at 4:57 am

    I think I’ll try this out and if you want some Limburgian recipes Just ask me. 🙂

    • Erwinator

      February 23, 2012 at 5:13 am

      We have Nun’s arses(directly translated to English) , a typical Limburgian pastry.

      Rabbitlegs in (sour)wildsauce.

      Limburgian autumn stew with chicken breast and beer made on a Limburgian way.

      Pidgeon with roasted potatoes and appel sirop that’s made in Schinnen.


      and many pies.

  • CallumPayne

    February 23, 2012 at 5:56 am

    All of that sounds stunning especially the breakfast mess, sounds like a random throw together of food in the fridge, my girlfriend does stuff like that, usually with hilarious results

  • zachx

    February 23, 2012 at 7:11 am

    Thank you, mrs. nerd I really appreciate Mt. dew cupcake Recipe.


  • thespy

    February 23, 2012 at 9:35 am

    hmm… i would probably kill the person, if i were to give that breakfast to them, since most people in finland are tender mouths, but personally i would enjoy the hell out of that mess

    • RobinLudvigIsomaa

      February 23, 2012 at 9:48 am

      @thespy It could work with “Turun sinappi”!

      • thespy

        February 23, 2012 at 5:56 pm

        @RobinLudvigIsomaa it could, but the taste would not be the same :/ and the heat would not be as intense >:D

  • Shadowtheman

    February 23, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Bear batterd fish sounds great……… Now i’m hungry ^v^

  • sterling.treadwell

    February 23, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Man.. this all sounds yummy but.. it needs photo’s lol.. I love to see the food you are talking about either being made or finally cooked.. then I can REALLY drown in my drool…

    Kool idea though. I never thought of reading a “Tales from the Craft Service” blog.. hehe…

  • Matthew Gustafson

    February 23, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    wow that breakfast sounds actually good and ill for sure try the cupcakes add more recipes also please its nice having breakfast of a champion and im not talkin bout mini wheats lol im talking about james rolfe

  • Matthew Gustafson

    February 23, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    where do you get crusty hoagie rolls?

    • mrs_nerd

      February 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

      @Matthew Gustafson The bakery section (like the stuff thats baked fresh) of most grocery stores have a decent selection.

      • NEORaven667

        February 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

        @mrs_nerd Tried The Mountain Dew Cupcakes 😀 Tasty Thanks for the post. Hope the movie is going well

  • DonSkiver

    February 23, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Seriously people, are you guys retarded? Don’t feed the fucking trolls. You’re only making it worse.

    Back to Mrs. Nerd and her foodstuffs, I also drink orange gatorade ALL THE FUCKING TIME. It’s pretty disgusting when I think about it, but I can’t stop drinking it. And the breakfast mess sounds awesomely delicious. I’m not much of a seafood person, besides the occasional fried shrimp dish, but I’d be willing to try your beer battered fish.

    Mt. Dew cupcakes just sounds delicious and disgusting all at the same time, very much a guilty pleasure. And the cheesesteak, hmm.. I can’t say that I know anything about philly steaks, so wiz wit. Though, Pat’s vs Geno’s is a moot point with me. I’m not from Philly, so I don’t really care.

    Looking forward to more stories from Mrs. Nerd. Watch out boo, mommy’s drunk ‘n’ makin’ fish!

    • metalcommand

      February 23, 2012 at 3:25 pm

      @DonSkiver Feedest ye notte troll.


    February 23, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    No green peppers in that cheesesteak sando! Blasphemy!! 🙂


    February 23, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    No green peppers in that CheeseSteak sando?? Blasphemy!! 😉 Thanks for sharing!

    • NormanPlechner

      February 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

      @RYGAR personally I prefer my cheese steak with just fried onions and whiz, anything else is just too much.

    • miguel3979

      February 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

       @RYGAR Green peppers in a cheesesteak is blasphemy!

  • NoisyPanther

    February 23, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I love how there’s more anti-hater comments than there are actual hater comments.

    Anyway, thanks, Mrs. Nerd. Who’d’a thought I’d come here looking for some dude swearing and playing video games, and end up with a few delicious recipes?

  • DerekShort

    February 23, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    All of this sounds fine but I like to go Bear Grills Fear Factor style and eat some raw horse balls in the morning then uncooked fish for supper

  • GiovanniGinoCaffarella

    February 23, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Thanks Ms. Nerd! Though I am from Italy and and you, James, and Mike know, Philadelphia is home to many Italian immigrants. There is great food to be had in the city and some horrible pile of shit, too. I do not like Italian American food to be honest because it is not fresh enough. And oddly the best Italian food is made by non Italian people. hehe

    Philly is also a great beer place, and for me, I come from Collingswood, NJ to go to get some great craft beer at such places like Hawthorne’s Cafe (on 11th and Fitzwater) The Farmer’s Cabinet (1113 Walnut) and of course Monks (16th and Locust or there abouts)

    Thanks so much for sharing!

  • LicaWolf

    February 23, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    I was looking forward to reading more of your posts, Mrs. Nerd, and you did not dissapoint 🙂

    There’s so much I loved about this post, but I think my favorite part was the “Watch out, Boo, Mommy’s Drunk n’ Makin’ Fish” line, lol. Anecdotes and recipes, perfect combination. I’m definately trying “James’ breakfast mess” one of these days 😛

  • HeidiPoe

    February 23, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Those Mountain Dew cupcakes sound wild! Do you have any pictures of them?

  • Cheerio

    February 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Gross. Please don’t feed this to anyone until I have my own taste test.
    Just kidding, I think.

    • Messmon

      February 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm

       @Cheerio Gross? What’s gross?

  • Schmaugen

    February 23, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    Thanks, Mrs. Nerd, for the fun stories and recipes. I’m definitely gonna try a few! And that quote of yours from the drunk fish night was hilarious. You don’t think it’s funny?

  • PartyPosse

    February 23, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    cinemassacre isn’t your blog

    • AppleJacks

      February 24, 2012 at 7:58 pm

      I wasn’t aware you owned Cinemassacre to tell the wife of the guy who does run it that.

    • NEORaven667

      February 24, 2012 at 8:58 pm

       @PartyPosse And Cinemassacre isn’t your twitter >.< LOL

    • NEORaven667

      February 24, 2012 at 9:01 pm

       @PartyPosse Cause it’s not like James wife has anything to do with the site or have any say on whats posted………………………..oh wait >.< Yes she does LOL

    • metalcommand

      February 25, 2012 at 12:51 am

       @PartyPosse Well…at the moment, yeah; it’s the blog of Mike and Mrs. Rolfe. *cough*burn!*cough*

    • JadeGryphon

      February 25, 2012 at 6:01 pm

       @PartyPosse  tl;dr it’s not your right to say. 😀

  • nowhere4321

    February 24, 2012 at 12:22 am

    “Weihenstephan hefeweisen or Schneider Weiss”  Yes! Mrs. Nerd has good taste in beer.
    James likes ice cream in tea?  Doesn’t sound good…

    • Messmon

      February 25, 2012 at 1:12 pm

       @nowhere4321 Well, the ice cream is melted. 😛 Might be good.


    February 24, 2012 at 1:13 am

    So far you have written more than has ever been written on Cinemassacre.

  • February 24, 2012 at 2:15 am

    The most likely reason that he finds the drunk fish thing so funny is just how little sense it would make out of context.

  • AlfHp

    February 24, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Nice recipes…
    Now i must go to the kitchen…

  • JasonPhillip

    February 24, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    finally a decent chz steak , thanks mrs nerd

  • IAmError01

    February 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    I’m eating all of these recipes the day I see the AVGN movie, whether I suffer a heart attack or not.

  • Sega32x

    February 24, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    I’m going to make these recipes today.

  • pogopopex4

    February 24, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    An odd entry to this website I must say

  • tryptam21

    February 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    Beyond rad!!!

  • AppleJacks

    February 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Wow. You are such a selfish asshole, and that comment really wasn’t called for. Who the hell are you to tell James’ wife what she can and cannot put up on the site? Maybe she thought that this would have been not just a thoughtful gesture, but something that adds a little more variety to the site? I personally appreciate this, because hey, we never hear of Mrs. Nerd, so I think we should make her feel welcome here!Seriously, don’t like, don’t watch.

    • NEORaven667

      February 24, 2012 at 9:02 pm

       @Boddrick  Thank you Boddrick for possibly the best comment thus far 🙂

  • NEORaven667

    February 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

     @mrs_nerd Any Idea As To When The Filmography On Here Will Be Updated?

  • NEORaven667

    February 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

     @mrs_nerd Any Idea As To When The Filmography On Here Will Be Updated? And Will Dumbo And Dunky Be Posted Any Time Soon?

  • Ellivennecq

    February 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    A food post is a NECESSITY on Cinemassacre.

  • fightgenie

    February 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    Ever make any vegan meals? 🙂

  • nate64

    February 24, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    this is awesome. thx so much for takin the time out to do this. 😀

  • CGBongsmoke

    February 25, 2012 at 12:09 am

    Pictures would be nice :3

  • LukasSprehn

    February 25, 2012 at 7:00 am

    Oh my god… it appears many of you don’t know a thing about math or physics, or numbers. What numbers are you even basing this fame/rep shit on??? Are you actually just people that have nothing good in your life but going to this site to watch the videos? :'(
    So please, just read, or don’t read, and wait for the nxt videos -_-

  • February 25, 2012 at 8:02 am

    Not to feed the trolls, but traffic is 50% more than it was this time last year. Thanks to the awesome fans we’re not going anywhere any time soon.

  • RhyanChapman

    February 25, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Why is BOO Infamous lol

  • Vlademir1

    February 25, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    That was actually really much more insightful than I expected.
    I just learned that James likes his cheesesteak the way I do, that Mike has some fairly sophisticated culinary tastes (that side dish sounds very good) and that Mrs. Rolfe and I have similar morning habits (I cringe at the mere thought of food in the morning).

  • Olivania

    February 25, 2012 at 3:59 pm

     @Messmon As far as I can see he just wrote what he thinks about the whole food/recipe thing. There is nothing wrong with voicing an opinion. Not sure where you live but last time I checked there was at least freedom of speech on the internet.

    • LukasSprehn

      February 25, 2012 at 6:12 pm

      It isn’t thatl, only. Remember a few post below me, someone clearly wrote, “It’s not your blog” … so, there’s the core explanation to our actions. And yes, we should have someone who ban people, I mean, it’s like no one’s in the staff is even paying attention to the comments section anymore …. -_-

    • Messmon

      February 25, 2012 at 6:54 pm

       @Olivania The thing is, he didn’t just say it once. Scroll down a bit and he has made a bunch of replies and stuff.

  • JadeGryphon

    February 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    First thing I gotta say: PLEASE Ignore the trolls/morons telling you not to post this stuff here. Not only is it NOT their business what you or James post here (It’s *your* site, for pete’s sake!)…but other fans asked for it, and you’re only being awesome and obliging kindly to a request. If they don’t like it or appreciate it? They can simply eat a massive cock. ^_^
    Secondly! I plan on trying these recipes, especially the Mountain Dew Cupcakes and the Old Bay Shrimp…I’ve never had Old Bay Seasoning but came to find out that we had some small sample packets of it in the cupboard. I’ll definitely have to try it out. 😀

  • LukasSprehn

    February 25, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    For crying out loud, it’s just fucking recipes!
    Please remember that there will still be videos! :O

  • Alphapix

    February 25, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    This is awesome, made me laugh pretty hard!

  • Messmon

    February 25, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    It’s ok to say one thing, but to sit around on a website replying to everyone and acting like a noob and a troll and posting that one thing over and over again isn’t ok.

  • KyleBoissonneault

    February 25, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    hey do any of you guys have any idea when you get the signed autograph if you donated on indie gogo?

  • LukasSprehn

    February 25, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    Wait… is he that “19 year old” guy?? O.o

  • JeremyMorey

    February 25, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    I’m very happy to see Mrs. Nerd involved now. Please ignore any haters. I’m glad to see your input. Keep it up!!!!

  • LukasSprehn

    February 26, 2012 at 5:03 am

    That’s enough, I’m mailing the staff…

  • PaulLMarshall

    February 26, 2012 at 5:28 am


  • PaulLMarshall

    February 26, 2012 at 5:31 am

    Ice cream in tea? No thank you.

    • Fool_of_a_Took

      February 26, 2012 at 8:40 am

       @PaulLMarshall Eh, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

    • LukasSprehn

      February 26, 2012 at 12:41 pm

      Well, it’s actually quite usual in most of Europe.

      • Olivania

        February 26, 2012 at 9:33 pm

         @LukasSprehn I guess you and me don’t live in the same Europe then. XD

  • CGBongsmoke

    February 26, 2012 at 5:40 am

    I like how Nik Colan likes to thing of himself as a successful troll. If anything he’s just feeding the post he thinks gives the site a “Bad rep.” In fact, he’s typed well over 600 words, longer then most high school papers, I’m impressed, but I stopped checking after awhile it’s probably more. I’m sure if he continues, this site will end up in the history channel one day. He’ll be known as “The boy who wouldn’t stop.”

  • Fool_of_a_Took

    February 26, 2012 at 8:50 am

    2-3 inches of oil?? Holy mother of god. Well, I’ve never really deep fried anything before, so what do I know. These sound delicious.

  • Killteck

    February 26, 2012 at 9:25 am

    who the fuck cares about recipes? Maybe if I eat this stuff I’ll cuss at my video games. Oh wait, I already do that.

    • Fool_of_a_Took

      February 26, 2012 at 9:27 am

      Y @Killteck Watch out guys, we got a badass over here.

  • Starcraft39

    February 26, 2012 at 9:38 am

    I see many angry nerds in the kitchen in the near future. You shouldn’t encourage people to deep fry, they’ll burn their effin’ houses down if they don’t know what they’re doing.

  • jvmh

    February 26, 2012 at 9:56 am

    thanks for the recipes! will deff try the cheese steaks and the seafood!

  • jvmh

    February 26, 2012 at 9:58 am

    have any goulash recipes?

  • ias kenny

    February 26, 2012 at 10:47 am

    when did this site turn into a cooking show?thought it was for games, and movies, ect, i dont care about this, and im sure no one will cook your recipes, i dont wanna hear about cupcakes, i wanna see movie and game reviews, and james, not you, i just had to post, to tell you really, so if anyone asks…. ‘why you posting then?’…..this is why…no offence, but i do hope you dont post again,

    • Killteck

      February 26, 2012 at 11:10 am

       @ias kenny No, there are a lot of fat slobs that will make and eat way too much of it.

    • Cinemiracle

      February 26, 2012 at 11:48 am

      You have encountered a Troll without any honor, you decide to let it live so that it may forever feel the everlasting sting of a women’s scorn.

    • NEORaven667

      February 26, 2012 at 12:02 pm

       @ias kenny You didn’t read comments below >.< FAIL GOOD SIR >.< I am one of many that saw this and tried this. Many other things do this. I’ve seen a computer mag with cooking stuff in it. In no way is this wrong. I’m sorry but it isn’t your website. It’s the Rolfe’s >.<

    • Oliver

      February 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

       @ias kenny fuck you you motherfucking no-lifer cocksucker cuntface!

  • NEORaven667

    February 26, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    TO CLEAR THE MADNESS. Ummmm hello. Let’s read who posted this shall we? Now scroll to the top…………..OMG THAT’S JAMES NAME :O If it was Mike it would say Mike. I’m assuming that even though James wife doesn’t use this too much that James would still have her an account, but lets say that she uses James. I’m almost certain that James cleared his wife to post whatever she wants. People need to remember THAT’S JAMES WIFE. You don’t insult her by telling her not to post ON HER HUSBANDS WEBSITE. AM I AN AVGN FAN BOY???? NOOOOO!!!! I’m a James Rolfe and April Rolfe Fan. So get over yourselves people. You may think its posting an opinion and it won’t hurt, but remember that James and hiis wife can see these. She probably is like “James Some Of Your Fans Are Dicks” >.< that i don’t like.

    • Killteck

      February 26, 2012 at 1:29 pm

       @NEORaven667 I hardly think James or his wife give two shit that a few people don’t care about food recipes.  Quit crying, you loser. I’m  sure they get a good chuckle out of all this bullshitery. 

    • Killteck

      February 26, 2012 at 1:33 pm

       @NEORaven667 I hardly think James or his wife give two shits that a few people don’t care about food recipes. Quit crying you loser. I’m sure they get some chuckles out of all this bullshittery.

      • Killteck

        February 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

         @NEORaven667 Ha ha ha ha that pretty funny. Thanks for the laughs.

  • February 26, 2012 at 12:50 pm

     @LukasSprehn   To donate now you do. It’s not like it’s that hard though. I made on in less than 2 mins

  • martinlupo

    February 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    JESUS CHRIST CAN EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP COMPLAINING. ITS A FUCKING LIST OF RECIPES! WHY ARE WE MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF ALL THIS. If you don’t like the posts Mrs. Nerd is putting up, then don’t read them. More than half of these comments are mostly just a bunch of people yelling at each other. You all need to take to a chill pill and calm down. Seriously

    • Killteck

      February 26, 2012 at 8:25 pm

       @martinlupo Because this is fun.  Ha ha!

  • squijee

    February 26, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    on the mt dew cupcakes
    the list says baking powder but in the directions says baking soda, i assumed the typo happened in the directions

  • stt32m

    February 26, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    cool recipes. ty!

  • Max Marriner

    February 26, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    So, after seeing comments of “I’d love to learn some recipes from Mrs. Nerd!” in the last post, I see so many people saying stuff like “WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO A COOKING SHOW?! WHO CARES ABOUT FOOD?” and that makes me very sad. Seriously guys, THIS IS A BLOG POST FROM MRS. NERD. SHE’S NICE ENOUGH TO GIVE US SOME RECIPES TO FOOD SHE RECOMMENDS. This is ONE blog post from someone who hasn’t said ANYTHING on this site until a few months ago. Seriously, if you don’t like the blog post, don’t read it. Easy, right? I swear, you guys are giving Mrs. Nerd a bad impression of James’s fans. As for myself, these recipes aren’t the most helpful thing in the world for me, but you know what? I appreciate the effort anyway! Besides, some variety in a website NEVER hurt anyone,  so shut up and stop acting like children.
    Also, this website isn’t really ALL about games and movies. This is James’ way to keep his fans updated and if he wants his wife to post up something that doesn’t have to do with games and movies (and if she agrees, of course), that’s fine. This is not a movie/video game website; it’s a Cinemassacre website, so get over yourselves!

    • Killteck

      February 26, 2012 at 8:31 pm

       @Max Marriner You make me laugh Maxi Marriner. Keep the comedy coming.

      • Max Marriner

        February 26, 2012 at 8:44 pm

         @Killteck You know, you’re not really contributing anything… Why are you wasting time  replying to comments you disagree with? Surely you have better things to do, right?

      • Max Marriner

        February 26, 2012 at 8:50 pm

         @Killteck And I realize that I’m doing the same thing, but you’re doing it on a much bigger scale. Again, your empty replies of “you make me laugh” and “ha ha!” aren’t helping your argument or mine.

      • Killteck

        February 26, 2012 at 11:23 pm

         @Max Marriner There is no argument.  I like food. Keeps me alive. Of course I’m referring to real food and not the chemically flavored, artificial, genetically modified, mostly high fructose corn syrup, frankinstien-food  corporate america is tricking everybody into eating.

  • Killteck

    February 26, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    I hardly think James or his wife give two shits that a few people don’t care about food recipes.  I’m sure they are getting a few chuckles out of all this bullshittery going on here.

  • EightBitWarrior

    February 27, 2012 at 1:07 am

    James should change the logo on the site for one day to say like Cooking Massacre, just to see everyone flip out. haha

  • JoshuaDavis1

    February 27, 2012 at 6:47 am

    all those recipes sound delicious, especially the cupcake recipe, I need to try that sometimes.

  • FrankCabanski

    February 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    It’s true in the movie business, or in any business.  If you make sure your meals are covered everything else falls into place.

  • HEYitzED

    February 27, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    Awesome post Mrs. Nerd. 😀

  • JamesCordial

    February 27, 2012 at 7:43 pm


  • AndrewMullins

    February 28, 2012 at 8:20 am

    Thank you for the recipes Mrs. Nerd. My sister was once a pastry chef in New Orleans, she would love to try some of these recipes.

  • majesty327

    February 28, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    The “Watch out Boo” part he may have took as a reference to Baldur’s Gate. One of the party members you can pick up is a clinically nuts guy named Minsc, and his miniture giant space hamster named Boo, he frequantly speaks directly to Boo, and says things like “Go for the eyes Boo, GO FOR THE EYES!!”. I also giggled a little bit at that, because I pictured this massive dude in an apron saying to his hamster, “Watch out Boo, mommy is drunk and making fish.”.

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