James / October 6th, 2011
October 6, 2011 at 12:44 am
October 6, 2011 at 1:01 am
JESUS CHRIST, JAMES!!!
You’ve been busy enough as it is with working on the movie, and doing Monster Madness every day this month (at nearly 10 min’s per video, might I add), and yet you ALSO give us a new AVGN.
You are spoiling us, and I love it 😀
March 24, 2014 at 5:53 pm
I agree he’s very enthusiastic, but he does monster madness the month before october.
October 6, 2011 at 1:02 am
MONSTER MADNESS AND AVGN?! I LOVE YOU
ok maybe a little
October 6, 2011 at 1:03 am
What a wonderful surprise! Thanks, Nerd!
October 6, 2011 at 1:04 am
I agree with Darris. James thanks for all the work your doing entertaining us. For free I might add. You really are a great entertainer, keep it up I’ve been watching your videos since 06′ and I don’t plan to stop anytime soon.
October 6, 2011 at 1:15 am
seriously funny stuff. I never knew this made it to console. I remember playing this on a Mac Plus. It actually wasn’t bad, it is obviously meant to be played with a keyboard in mouse i guess. Using the mouse to move his arm up and down wasn’t too bad. I remember getting caught in that dungeon many times too.
October 6, 2011 at 1:17 am
Heinously anus. Great line. I’m glad you turned up the Diarrhea Dial again.
October 6, 2011 at 1:18 am
Pressing up to duck. Our grandchildren will wonder what we were thinking.
January 20, 2013 at 12:36 am
Dark Castle… ain’t that a bitch!
October 6, 2011 at 1:32 am
James, you get better every time…The AVGN movie is going to like a fine wine that the fans have been aging in the cellar at the proper humidity and temperature levels…Me and the rest of the fans can almost smell the bouquet that awaits us never to be corked again…It’s going to be one hell of a debut…Darris is right though, you are spoiling us…I do not oppose…Please, keep spoiling us…I would also like to see some more Monkey Cheese someday in case you read this.
October 6, 2011 at 1:38 am
YOU FUCKING KICK ASS, JAMES.
October 6, 2011 at 1:54 am
Kick ass week on Cinemassacre! thanks for busting ass for the fans man
October 6, 2011 at 2:00 am
Would you have nightmares from that dragon?
October 6, 2011 at 2:08 am
WOW this guy makes lester the unlikly Look Badass and that saying alot.
October 6, 2011 at 2:10 am
i gotta say the the new intros are a lil annoying
but hearing that theme song twice in a row for it
worth it 😀
October 6, 2011 at 2:31 am
I heard James was a quick editor. That’s the only way I can imagine him releasing all these videos. He just knows how to put them together really fast. Unless he’s got some crew working for him or something.
I hope his movie is progressing along nicely.
October 6, 2011 at 2:40 am
As has been said: Monster Madness + AVGN = Winning of internets!!
October 6, 2011 at 2:50 am
That was horrible!
The game; the review was hilarious!
Jesus, LordKat should play this game to win, on the CD-I.
October 6, 2011 at 2:51 am
haha that was great, the whipping at the end was hilarious lol
October 6, 2011 at 2:54 am
Hahaha, that was awesome. Really made my morning! Seriously, they took everything that makes a good platformer and perverted it so bad 😀
I liked the comparisons of bad controls in previously reviewed games. It’s not *that* bad when it’s a driving game like roger rabbit or terminator 2, but for a platforming game like kid kool or these dark castle games where everything breaks down based on flawed controls, it’s crazy you got as much footage as you did.
Looks like Kyle Justin rotted away from lack of beer behind the couch, no wonder he’s been missing for over 2 years. Oh well, at least his skeleton makes for nice decoration!
October 6, 2011 at 3:11 am
Well, James DOES seem to work his ass off. But two things:
A) He’s been working on these Monster Madness videos for months, I’m pretty sure. He was probably done with them a decent amount of time before Oct. 1st hit.
B) He actually does have a bit of a crew. He has made some of the videos himself, but Mike, that guy who helps him run the site/servers, etc. And he said back in the summer that he was going to keep doing the AVGN videos, but that he was trying to get a few of them done (back then), enough to fill out the rest of the year (one a month, I’d assume).
So while he HAS certainly been working his ass off, I’d imagine most of his energy right this minute is indeed going into starting full-blown production on the AVGN movie soon. Right now it seems to be in pre-production. Not that I’m an expert, just educated guessing.
Either way, you ARE bad ass James. Keep up the good work, I’ve loved pretty much everything you’ve been doing, AVGN, MM, BJ, you name it!
October 6, 2011 at 3:20 am
This is the funniest nerd video I have seen in a looooong time. AS IF! This game can not actually exist. What a joke. I was in tears I was laughing so hard at how ridiculous those controls look, and how often you get dizzy and spin out, then get bowled over by bats and shit. LMFAO!!!!!!!!
October 6, 2011 at 3:27 am
Also I gotta say, just when I was starting to think James was running out of ideas, he gives us this gold. It’s amazing, no matter how mundane the weeks might be sometimes, I can always count on a new episode of AVGN here and there to get me laughing my ass off. Never stop doing these man.
October 6, 2011 at 3:35 am
I laughed so hard when you whiped those games 🙂 I did not see that coming.
October 6, 2011 at 3:38 am
October 6, 2011 at 3:49 am
Bringing back the OLD nerd voice. I approve
October 6, 2011 at 4:27 am
One of the best endings ever! good job James =)
October 6, 2011 at 4:40 am
Nerd, haven’t you learned from the Indiana Jones video that playing with whips ends badly…
October 6, 2011 at 5:33 am
James, you know what was really magical about this episode?
When you started playing the CDi version, you made me could actually SEE/FEEL how horrible these controls are. Really impressive.
October 6, 2011 at 5:41 am
Man! The CDi bit was hilarious, that game looks fucked! Had me crackin’ up and lollygaggin’. Brilliant episode, cheers
October 6, 2011 at 6:29 am
Nicely done. I laughed hard when you said “on C…D…I….!!!!”
October 6, 2011 at 6:38 am
I really prefer this oldschool style reviews over the exaggerated, “more special effects than jokes” reviews. Keep this style up and I love you 😛
October 6, 2011 at 7:54 am
That was a damn good episode!
October 6, 2011 at 8:06 am
You know you’re an avgn fan when you get excited to see a new upload and you sing along with the theme song as it plays.
October 6, 2011 at 8:23 am
This is the best episode you’ve done for a long time. It really feels like a nerd episode. Very good job James.
October 6, 2011 at 8:25 am
james, if you read this, you didn’t go as far as you should have ! not that i have ever played that awful piece of shit, but the most famous french reviewer (le joueur du grenier) did, and the FINAL BOSS is … oh my god. you have no idea how epic it is. and i’m not just using this word out of lack of vocabulary !
October 6, 2011 at 9:51 am
October 6, 2011 at 9:59 am
It’s great to know that our pal James Rolfe can make kickass eps even when he’s working on a movie! NICE WORK!!
October 6, 2011 at 10:16 am
WHO ARE THESE DEMONS THAT ARE ALLOWED TO BRING SUCH HORROR UPON THIS EARTH … I HAVE A GAME CALLED DINO RICKY FOR THE NES IT LOOKED GOOD AND A GREAT CHALLENGE BUT NO CONTINUES ..I FOUND OUT THERES A CODE BUT IF YOU DIE WITH ONE HEART YOU CONTINUE WITH ONE HEART INSTEAD OF THE STANDARD 3 HEARTS …HAVE YOU PLAYED THAT CRAP????
October 6, 2011 at 10:17 am
LOVED THE NEW SODE
October 6, 2011 at 10:26 am
Monster Madness and AVGN?!?! You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Thank you.
October 6, 2011 at 10:27 am
Yeah! That’s what we call AVGN! Awesome episode, James! 😉
That was an awesome episode, James. I never played Dark Castle, and thanks to you, I never will. : )
October 6, 2011 at 10:30 am
When will Kyle Justin come back to play the theme song. It was cool when he did it!
October 6, 2011 at 10:31 am
Hey click my name and check out my page
October 6, 2011 at 10:34 am
Hey, that made me reaaly wonder what game is worse: Dark Castle on CDI, or Dr. Jekill and Mr. Hyde?
October 6, 2011 at 11:02 am
Lol nice ending. Now I have that “nya nya nya” sound going through my head.
October 6, 2011 at 11:42 am
Hey guys, what is your favorite videogame/ console. Want to discuss it? Head to http://retro1up.lefora.com/2011/09/21/favorite-games/
Thanks for all the work you do.
Man, I love October!
October 6, 2011 at 12:04 pm
this game looks so annoying
October 6, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Very good James.
Damnation lashes, Fatality.
October 6, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Hey James, Great video… I’d love to see you play Another World/Out of this World…
October 6, 2011 at 12:50 pm
CEE DEE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
October 6, 2011 at 1:19 pm
Holy crap that C-D-IIIIII D=<! was scary as hell! After that I rofl'd hard!
What a piece of shit this is. Man, the original game is a underestimated classic, but this is just a butchered, raped and beaten to death port. The just ported it in a crapfast pace, slapped the title on it and brought it on the market.
October 6, 2011 at 1:31 pm
You didn’t torture it enough. Too bad it cant be crucified, since video games don’t have arms or legs.
October 6, 2011 at 1:34 pm
looks like that video game character had been excessive binge drinking before entering the game. I mean look at him, stumbling over everything getting dizzy, taking ages to aim, missing vines you could touch.. he’s definitely drunk.
October 6, 2011 at 1:42 pm
oh, and Njanjanjanjanja!
Where did you learn to fly?
October 6, 2011 at 1:58 pm
“I like to torture.” 😉
October 6, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Wow, now that’s one heck of a shitty game. BTW: I noticed the Genesis cartridge has a weird yellow “button” (kinda looks like an SD card) on the side, and that it doesn’t seem to bear the official Sega seal. Is it one of those unlicensed game, like Little Red Hood and Super Noah Ark 3d.
October 6, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Took the words right out of my mouth. Great job James!
October 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Great episode!!! Thanks for making the day;)
October 6, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Wow that game looks like a total piece of shit. I’ve never seen a genesis game with such horrible controls and graphics. My God. I bet the character in the game is related to Lester the Unlikely! 😀
October 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Wow, that was painfull to watch! I felt the anger! 😀 Great show!
October 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm
hahaha good shit!
October 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Yeah, whip and torture that abomination like a boss!
Very great episode, keep it up! 🙂
October 6, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Great vid! Thanks to James and Mike for all the work they’ve been doing.
On an unrelated topic, does anybody else notice that the annoying monster sound he mentioned sounds like it’s from the Three Stooges?
October 6, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Gotta love me a Halloween episode of AVGN. BTW, nice lighting.
I could go for some BK right now. Mostly because the kids meals have Simpsons toys for Halloween.
2:40- Is this like the same hole in the ground where he was hiding in before the U.S. Army found him?
The graphics and music of this game reminds me of Action 52 on the Genesis.
7:14- It’s like Sir Shaggy here is the forefather of Lester the Unlikely.
8:19- If you think Jar Jar Binks is annoying, you haven’t heard about Dark Castle.
9:55- Oh $h!t.
11:55- Wow. No wonder why the skeleton of Kyle Justin is behind you. I feel both your pain.
October 6, 2011 at 5:08 pm
The segment starting at 11:20 is the best AVGN rant ever!! I repeated that section like 20 times and still lol’d! Awesome video james!!!
October 6, 2011 at 5:22 pm
great episode James, simple like the old ones, njanjanjanjanjanjanja, yet with style!
October 6, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Let me tell you about some bull balls with this one. I worked at a game studio with the creator of this game (Mark Piece) and he was dead set on porting it to cell phones.
This was before the advent of the iPhone and Androids. We’re talking about Nokia 6300s, old Sony Ericsons, and Motorola v525s.
And let me tell you… you don’t know SHIT about SHIT controls until you play Dark Castle on a Motorola v525. One thing the mobile version had though was autoaiming. That was nice.
VERY nice avgn James. I didn’t expect you to do one this month with Monster Madness on the go, you must have no spare time atm.
That whipping scene at the end was Gold !
Great work as usual !
October 6, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Fantastic ending, I lol’d.
October 6, 2011 at 5:53 pm
When I was a kid, I only had this game and Sonic the Hedgehog for a time. This review is everything it should be and more, 4\4 stars!
At least I didn’t have the CD-i version!
I had Beyond Dark Castle for the Macintosh.
It isn’t bad at all.
October 6, 2011 at 6:44 pm
“Who looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, or Peter Pan with a Mullet.” OR LINK?!?!?!
October 6, 2011 at 6:48 pm
well, Fatt Man Judgeth had you beat on the Bat Man Forever review, but you’ve got him beat on this piece of suck!
October 6, 2011 at 7:12 pm
“I watch from a view, where thou cannot see. Thou’s shadow is thy only hint, for what is watching thee. From thou’s balcony, door or window from afar, For thee travelers cannot see what is watching them from so very far. Watch & watching those are words, to describe what I am doing, which seems so dark & sinister. So you really want to know where I am doing this? ………..From my dark castle of course, with no force protecting it. From the light & sight that can gazed upon it. Am I afraid of intruders or visitors you ask? OF COURSE NOT YOU NITWIT! Because none have ever set foot…….inside my dark lair & if one does enter my lair. THEN MAY THEIR DEATH COME SWIFTLY TO THEM & CAST THEIR LIFELESS SHELLS, INTO THE DARKNESS!!” (By Lord Igos263)
October 6, 2011 at 7:16 pm
that ghost sure can give blow jobs!
October 6, 2011 at 7:54 pm
What an awesome episode. Great job, James! I cracked up pretty hard when you said “C-D-I!!!!!!!!!!”
Keep it up, brothat
October 6, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Its the most heinously anus thing! Omg I am still laughing from that. I love this video! Excellent job.
October 6, 2011 at 8:34 pm
You’ve posted so many other videos recently I forgot all about AVGN! What is wrong with me?
October 6, 2011 at 8:36 pm
Ghost head? muts be a reference to ghostbusters.
October 6, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Again, another great avgn episode. james, keep up the great work your on a roll!!
October 6, 2011 at 10:12 pm
The Nerd is possessed!
Dark Castle truly is that bad, although I’ve only “played” the Genesis version.
Please review Total Recall for the NES! 🙂
“”Anywhere you fall down drops you into this torture room […] It’s like playing a monopoly game where every space on the board says go to jail.”
Now THAT’S a dungeon. It definitely sounds deadly. Danger, too.
October 6, 2011 at 10:21 pm
I actually own a computer from the 80’s that came with this game on it
btw, the computer version was so much more fun and the controls are a bit more tolerable
as a 4-8 year old child this game rocked my world with the difficulties i had to surpass to beat 1 freaking screen!
It is still an amazing game in my mind from memory but seeing this tortures it, im glad to know the title of the game finally but am saddened that any version of it other than from that old 80’s computer is terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 6, 2011 at 10:29 pm
I had to replay the whole CDi part because I was laughing my ass off so much lol great episode nerd!
October 6, 2011 at 11:01 pm
Yay new episode whipped ass!
October 7, 2011 at 12:27 am
No joke, I went on ebay and bought this game as soon as the review was over. I don’t know why, but watching James suffer through these games really makes me want to play them.
October 7, 2011 at 12:31 am
Excellent Excuse to use the Demon Face effect!!! Great job, James! Awesomely over-the-top when you got all “Clive Barker HellRaiser” on those carts and decided to “teach them a new world of pain” with that Whip at the end.
October 7, 2011 at 1:35 am
Neengeeneeneenga…. That noise had me laughing xD
Great episode 😀
October 7, 2011 at 2:02 am
Just watching him stumble around like a dumbass was painful. Those games deserved the torture.
October 7, 2011 at 6:42 am
This is definitely one of the best ones since you started working on your movie even despite the absence of any fancy special effects (loved the fire tho :D, fire is always good), but you had some good material to work with I must say. Too bad it’s such a short episode because I think the shittyness of these games deserve more torture and foul language, but I guess you’re too busy right now. Is it possible we haven’t seen the last of dark castle yet?
Good work and good luck with the movie. Can’t wait to see it.
October 7, 2011 at 7:56 am
I probably would’ve laughed just a bit harder, had I not had the same frustration with this game, on the Amiga.
Dark Castle just had waaaay to many ports & by the looks of it, the CD-I had the absolute worst.
Thank you for another kickass video!
October 7, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Just watched this again. Gotta say, I love the videos where its just you ranting on a shitty game more than the ones that are full production experiences. Not that I dislike those, but these ones make me laugh more.
Of course, it helps to have great source material like Dark Castle. That guy makes Lester the Unlikely look like Rambo.
October 7, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Nice one! Those games got the punishment they deserved !!
October 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm
good to see you back, james
October 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm
i have to say, that i think this was the best episode you’ve done in a LONG time. it’s a lot more back to the basics, like your older reviews. it focuses more on the game than some of your recent ones, and honestly i kind of like how you don’t go into too much of a distraction with the ‘nerd’ character or any of his ‘things’ that he does, like stringing together a 3 minute combo of curse word insults. that said, it still did have some funny stuff in there that wasn’t part of the review, but inspired by the game, like the whip scene at the end. it didn’t go on too long, or derail the video in any way, it (that scene) was executed perfectly.
in my opinion, this video is up there with the one from the first few seasons. great work!
October 7, 2011 at 2:55 pm
This game reminds me of a combination between the Dragon’s Lair and Lester the Unlikely episodes. Its hilariously insane! The gameplay is unresponsive, the graphics are cheesy, and the character disobeys you! LOL
October 7, 2011 at 3:05 pm
I’ve never heard of this game before. Thank goodness for that. Great review, but it was painful to watch the gameplay. It LOOKS bad. Can only imagine the horror of actually playing it.
October 7, 2011 at 3:10 pm
man i busted up when you said C D I good work James as always!
October 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm
man, that was one of the famous text quotes! Superb!!!
October 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm
part of the reason this game sucks so bad is that it originally came out on the original macintosh!
October 7, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Those seriously look like two of the worst games you’ve ever reviewed. Great video honestly, one of your best.
October 7, 2011 at 8:22 pm
Why the hell is there a picture of the nerd in this news article above? Is he supposed to be the blogger or something? Yay random google search for Angry.
October 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm
Oh also that article was linked to by Perez Hilton. So it was weird seeing the Nerd’s face there.
October 7, 2011 at 8:54 pm
@SilverDragon, nope, EA (yes, that EA) had that yellow thing on a few Genesis games. I am not sure if it’s a chip that enhances the performance of the game, although I can’t imagine this awful game needing one.
October 7, 2011 at 9:43 pm
I’ll just leave this here: http://thegaminghistorian.com/?p=464
October 7, 2011 at 9:59 pm
My friends and I actually tried to beat this game as well as Ecco the Dolphin two years ago on my birthday. Bunch of 20 year olds sitting around a Sega Genesis with two of the world’s shittiest games ever… Good times… Good times.
October 7, 2011 at 10:14 pm
I miss having 2 episodes a month.
October 7, 2011 at 10:32 pm
OMG! As soon as I saw the torture room…I remember this game. I had a black & white version of it on my 1983 Macintosh. It’s a 1986 game, & back then it had the best graphics I’d ever seen in a game.
Incidently I LOVE the background music; Tocatta & Fugue in D Minor. Is it a full 10-11 minute loop or do they not play the whole song?
October 8, 2011 at 12:44 am
Was the talk about the dragon giving you nightmares a reference to “The Dragon in My Dreams” by chance?
October 8, 2011 at 1:47 am
This episode of AVGN was AWESOME! The sound quality, the set, and the jokes were all very impressive. This is easily in my top three favorite episodes. Not bad at all James. Good work.
October 8, 2011 at 2:22 am
That ending was really strange. lol
Good episode. All around great quality!
October 8, 2011 at 5:34 am
Man this was so hilarious, I laughed so hard when you said ” C.D.I ” definitely one of your best review
October 8, 2011 at 11:08 am
http://speeddemosarchive.com/DarkCastle.html Funny how quickly some games can be beaten.
October 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm
I was enjoying monster madness so much, I almost forgot about AVGN!
October 8, 2011 at 12:59 pm
I know he is busy, with the movie, monster madness, and a ton of other shit. but I’d like to see 20+ minute reviews again. but this was a good episode
October 8, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Great one again James, and i really liked the part where you said “dark castle on cdi”. LoL good one
October 8, 2011 at 4:56 pm
I remember playing this on Amiga. It was back in the day when I could get one game every three months or so (and every three months felt like a lifetime!)
On the Amiga the (clearly hideous) throwing mechanism wasn’t so bad – the mouse would aim, and you could spam throws by holding the mouse.
However, the game itself was entirely ridiculous and incredibly hard. It simply wasn’t enjoyable. However, it was macabre watching this utter gonk die repeatedly, so at least that had something going for it.
With the PC Gamer cry of ‘not another port!’ I think that this is an unusual case where the console port was terrifyingly broken.