Mike Matei / October 14th, 2008
April 14, 2010 at 10:02 am
i liked when you beatdowned the bat 😀
April 16, 2010 at 8:58 pm
I love how he’s wearing the reebok pumps as he kicks the bat’s ass. Good Job, James.
April 26, 2010 at 7:05 pm
his emotions look just like the emotic0ns >:(
May 18, 2010 at 1:23 am
one of my favorite AVGN quotes is the whole Drac’s Night Out rant about buried shits.
June 7, 2010 at 3:48 pm
The Commodore 64 isn’t primitive. It was ahead of its time and IBM PCs (as we have today) took 10 Years to get that far.
Fred Fuchs is (I bet you know already) is a valid german name. It means Fox.
Btw this also works the other way round:
The VIC 20 wasn’t released in Germany under that name. Why?
They thought “vic” came too close to german “fick” which REALLY means “fuck” (although we would have pronounced it “wic” instead of “fic”).
So they wanted to call it “vixen” which means masturbating… they released it as the VC20 which they translated to “VolksComputer” much like Volkswagen.
Sorry for clever-shitting you, but I’m a nerd, too.
February 15, 2013 at 10:13 am
It’s primitive by today’s standards, that’s what he meant. You really didn’t catch that? I think you’re also the 10000th person without a sense of humor to whine about the Fred Fuchs name issue.
October 25, 2013 at 8:53 pm
The first human being to chip a rock to make a blade was ahead of their time. Despite that, stone tools are primitive.
May 12, 2014 at 12:47 am
lmao… You make an excellent point my friend. Well said.
June 13, 2010 at 10:48 am
Waite whos this guy? Fred Fuchs?! Fred Fuchs?!
June 21, 2010 at 11:07 pm
I love the nerd
July 4, 2010 at 5:25 pm
the dracula on Gameboy has the same music as a level in Gex-Deep cover Gecko 😀
July 28, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Somewhere I have a bat toy just like the one you have. Hmmm… -.-
August 19, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Soo many great moments and lines in this episode. fred fuchs…. poor little guy. one of my favorites. great work james
September 9, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Dracula is like…. Duuuuuuh??? haha, best part after “dont know how to fuck something?”
September 10, 2010 at 3:58 am
Fred Fuchs, Fred Fuchs?!….aahh Fred Fuchs!.lol
October 5, 2010 at 10:24 am
dude! why aren’t there more games where you play as Dracula!? playing as a vampire is way more fun than as some stupid human…….I fuckin hate vampire hunters……..
October 21, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Fred Fuchs?!?!! Frikin funny! How bout the other crazy names on there? lol
October 23, 2010 at 9:13 pm
“Fuchs” means “Fox” in german. The letter U is mispronouced.
October 24, 2010 at 1:24 pm
I love the cinematography of this episode. It’s IS similar to that of “Nosferatu” and Universal’s “Dracula.”
My family used to have a VIC-20, and I remember us still having the keyboard, cassette player, and a controller when we stopped using it. When I was growing up, I played them as toys when I was playing around in the basement.
I still find “Don’t know how to “F#CK” something” funny as… f#ck.
The discription James made about “Drac’s Night Out” Is how I describe that unreleased Fantastic Four film from 1994 that was produced by Roger Corman.
I’ve played some of Countdown online. …Why am I saying this?
I’ve also played some of the NES version of “Bram Stoker’s Dracula,” and I also find the gameplay and music weird.
I also find the name Fred Fuchs hilarious.
I’ve seen “Bram Stoker’s Dracula,” and the clip after you’re defeated DOES come from the movie.
November 28, 2010 at 12:03 am
Don’t know how to f–k something makes me laugh every time. Also, a Sesame Street game?
December 7, 2010 at 2:55 am
Love the Pink Floyd reference. Greatest band in the world. By the way,
*Picks up Loudspeaker* NERD! DO SOMETHING ON METROID OR DONKEY KONG.
December 18, 2010 at 2:01 pm
Ah Text games, the bane of my life back when I tried playing the Sherlock Holmes game.
December 20, 2010 at 6:43 am
Fred Fuchs is my new name for all my video game characters. Too bad FF3 (VI) only lets you use 6 characters…F.Fuchs just doesn’t have the same feel to it.
January 4, 2011 at 8:06 pm
don’t know how to fuck something….
I die laughing every time
January 23, 2011 at 2:06 pm
And I could see that there were thousands of rats. With there eyes blazing red, like his only smaller. And then he held up his hand and they all stopped! and I thought he seem to be saying: rats ! Rats! RATS! THOUSANDS! MILLIONS OF THEM!
I want a Dracula Game where I play as Renfield!
February 14, 2011 at 7:44 pm
lol you seem to know pretty well Pink Floyd, the best band of all times
March 20, 2011 at 1:45 pm
just tried a downloaded game for the Commodore PET (1978)
Computer asks “DO YOU WANT INSTRUCTIONS?”
I entered “Y”
Computer asks “YES OR NO – – ?”
I entered “YES, ASSHOLE”
and brings up the instructions.
June 1, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Lol, great revew James!
July 2, 2011 at 6:18 am
Hahaha, he really murdered that bat!
July 2, 2011 at 1:27 pm
July 17, 2011 at 8:49 pm
Use 1 or 2 words ony please.
Oh I got 2 words for you! FUCK YOU!
Dont know how to FUCK something…
July 31, 2011 at 2:10 am
I eat pillows all the time, they taste great
December 28, 2011 at 1:36 pm
January 17, 2012 at 8:33 am
Me too, mine are made from barley and wheat. Mix with milk.
February 10, 2012 at 6:31 am
Awkard again. @ThrowntoReality
August 17, 2011 at 2:21 pm
watch out for the nerdpire bat created by the angry video game nerd
September 8, 2011 at 11:41 am
MORNING SUN, VANQUISH ME!
September 15, 2011 at 7:44 pm
“use one or two words only”..
oh ok i’ll give you two words..FUCK YOU
“Don’t know how to fuck something”
AVGN Face palms…..
December 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm
that funny eat piilow
December 25, 2011 at 11:01 pm
WHY DO SO MANY GAMES HAVE FUCKING BATS!
January 1, 2012 at 6:42 am
im sucked dry lol
January 1, 2012 at 3:24 pm
i will give u 2 words fuck u
January 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm
omg omg its fred fuchs fred fuchs ass
January 2, 2012 at 1:14 am
don’t know how to suck something lol XD
January 8, 2012 at 6:56 pm
wearing those reebok pumps i see 😀
January 31, 2012 at 11:08 pm
“oh ass i mean fuck” lolz
February 3, 2012 at 1:45 am
A game about Dracula where Harker eats pillows. Just like the book.
February 5, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Don’t know how to fuck something lol
February 10, 2012 at 4:56 pm
I’m guessing you know about this? If not, you do now! 🙂
February 27, 2012 at 3:13 am
makes sense why Ozzy bit the head off a bat now isn’t it? hahaha
March 10, 2012 at 4:53 am
I like PUMP SHOES my speed without shoe: 20, with shoe: 40 i need shoes <3
March 14, 2012 at 4:35 am
do you have to be a sign up to cinemassacre to post a comment and also does it cost any money to sign up.
March 14, 2012 at 4:41 am
i mean does it cost any money to sign up to register to cinemassacre
March 14, 2012 at 4:43 am
do you have to be registered to cinemassacre to post comments? and does it cost any money to register to cinemassacre.
March 16, 2012 at 9:40 am
March 18, 2012 at 12:51 am
@TahneeGeorge what did you think you just did? took a shit?
March 21, 2012 at 1:27 am
@TahneeGeorge can’t tell if trolling or us stupid.
March 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Bat beat ! I’M BATMAAAAAAAAAN !!!
March 24, 2012 at 1:25 pm
March 27, 2012 at 11:59 pm
The suicide DraculaReason of death: To much torture from his own games
April 10, 2012 at 6:53 am
there’s an other game with dracula.. it’s called Akumajou Special: Boku Dracula Kun and it’s cool
April 16, 2012 at 5:07 am
Ha ha! Echoes DOES sound like Phantom of the Opera. Huh.
April 27, 2012 at 2:36 pm
@Disagreer Actually, it’s more accurate to say that the Phantom of the Opera theme sounds like Echoes. Roger Waters even claims that Andrew Lloyd Webber plagiarized the riff from Echoes, athough he never actually filed a lawsuit.
June 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Dont know how to fuck something
June 19, 2012 at 4:57 am
yes, the scene is from the movies, just after jonothan sees the 3 women kill the baby, thats when ya see close up of his face.
July 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm
About the A/C adapter. The reason why you see so many A/C Adapters on the cord now is because, if you notice, the darn thing heats up if you have it plugged in. That’s because it’s transforming 120/140 VAC coming out of your socket down to the 5VDC the game console needs to operate. That heat can accumulate in the console and even cause damage to it if there is no way the machine can mitigate the heat.
August 17, 2012 at 7:00 pm
September 5, 2012 at 8:10 am
I’m a little sad you didn’t review Dracula: Resurrection for Playstation/PC that came out in 1999. Though to my knowledge this may be due to the fact it’s a Point N Click game. If you do look at it, I would love to hear your opinion on it.
October 2, 2012 at 6:18 pm
its dracu-nerd! 🙂
December 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Don’t know whether you would class it as a dracula game but there was a master system (and game gear) game called vampire. It was a blatant castlevania rip off with all the nasty traits of a rushed hack job. Although it could be fun with persistence it got boring really fucking fast.
January 1, 2013 at 5:43 am
Dracula for nes.I remember this game well.You have to beat the game twice to see the ending.To this day i wonder why i forced myself to do that,so bloody hard that was.
January 27, 2013 at 12:40 pm
The morning sun has vanquished the awful nerd
May 11, 2013 at 7:15 am
I have some textadventures on C64 and they behave differently. Most of them don’t know how to fuck anything, but sometimes you get something different. One of them actually said “go wash your mouth out”, meaning that the programmers expected you to swear. Another one was in german, which was really funny.
I entered “fick dich” and it said “dich kenne ich nicht”.
(“fuck you” – Computer:”I don’t know you”). Maybe it fucks itself if it knew me better.
June 17, 2013 at 3:51 am
Not bad. Like it when you show unreleased games. Very interesting!
October 2, 2013 at 2:16 am
watching all the episodes again 🙂
October 8, 2013 at 8:14 pm
I love this vid man! Good times!
June 23, 2014 at 9:31 pm
The only vampire RPG i really liked was Vampire The Masquerade: Redemption and to some extent i liked (because of really crazy characters) Bloodlines.
Then there was Bloodomen Legacy of Kain and Bloodomen 2. The best action-adventure was the last Legacy of Kain (you played as Kain and Razael from Soul Reaver),forgot the name …
September 26, 2016 at 5:19 pm
its Fred Fuchs fu chs
September 27, 2016 at 6:30 pm
do they ever call you a Hoarder James?
September 27, 2016 at 7:12 pm
its Fu-chs not fucks guh
January 4, 2018 at 12:23 pm
hard to believe after all these years this shit still makes me laugh just as hard as back in my mid 20’s, how long has it been? ten years now? omg James was so ahead of his time back then.
and i’ve always wondered wtf was with that weird fucking helmet he wears on the snes version of Bran Stokers Dracula? when did Harker ever wear that in the movie?
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