Episode #7 – Temperature

Mike Matei / February 8th, 2008


  • Lurch80

    April 11, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    Yeah!!!!!!!! Temperature is bullshit!

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    That’s how I feel. Let’s get together and tell Mother Earth to knock her shit off and get her temperature set a nice and breezy 72 degrees farenheit. Let the breeze come in at around 2 miles per hour and just leave us the fuck alone! No more hurricanes or tornadoes. No more earthquakes, blizzards or typhoons. Just give us a nice 72 with the occassional showers to keep the grass and other plants growing and stop fucking with the damn temperature knob!

    • Weldin Dunn

      June 18, 2014 at 7:43 pm

      Yeah, but then the kids of the future wouldn’t get to stay home from school. Or get to play in the snow.

    • Weldin Dunn

      June 18, 2014 at 7:44 pm

      I still agree though

  • XxNoMercyxX431

    May 8, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    who invented the thermometer? it looks like a single balled dick

  • mrCrumpet

    May 30, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    This video rocks. At first I was like “man, bullshitman must’ve really been scraping the barrel for this one,” but then I was watching it and I was like “this is an awesome rant and nature should just get fucked with its temperature shit!”

    Basically, I thought it was going to be crap, but it’s funny because of how outlandishly peeved he is at nature itself. There’s something deep about this one. . . Maybe. . . Or maybe not. Ah whatever, I thought it was great.

  • kazenoaiko

    June 2, 2010 at 6:30 am

    Sorry James, but I gotta be an asshole:
    ‘Time is an artificial concept’

    Yeah, I hate been overheated or freezing cold.

    I hate how the handrails are too hot to hold on to or how the pavement is so icy you fall and damage your ankles… like me.

    I would love it if things were kept at a neutral. similarly with weather patterns, I.E. Sunny in day, Rainy at night.

    I’d also, on an unrelated topic, like to be rid of the concept of a week. Also, we should be rid of months. 365 Days per Year. No Sunday through Saturday, just today, tommorow, and forever. Except the religious activists would play hell up, ironically.

    Anyway, besides the fact that hell is too hot, this is the end of my comment. Have a good day people.

    James, please don’t think I’m insulting you with this comment, not at all, I’m justing putting my view on the topic of this video accross. I love all the videos you’ve done, keep up the good work.

    – Kaze no Aiko

  • Not Mike Matei

    June 4, 2010 at 2:40 am

    Temperature is an asshole.

  • Jossa

    June 8, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    People don’t realize that the government secretly controls the temperature. In the mid 90’s the government bought 4 polo shirts from Tommy Hillfiger costing 4 billion dollars (plus tax) and the white house is now indebted to him. Now, Obama is forced to manipulate the temperature according to what ridiculously over priced, ugly ass, clothing that Tommy Hillfiger currently wants to pimp. I’ve met Temperature and he is actually a pretty cool guy. He lives in Austin, Texas and likes “33” as well. Tommy Hillfiger is the asshole…

  • Leo619

    June 9, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    Texas … once springs over and summers started u will die without a pool

  • July 5, 2010 at 2:53 am

    It’s called Hawaii. Yea so what if it is expensive. But it isn’t Beverly Hills. Normal people live there, though their job may suck. But, at least the weather is always conformable.

  • cambo1000

    July 21, 2010 at 7:32 pm

    sub zero is to cold. fire man is to hot lolz

  • acceptedignorance

    August 7, 2010 at 6:08 am

    You want to talk about temperature being bullshit?
    I live in Memphis
    Three days ago it was 105 degrees outside with 100% humidity and a heat index of FUCKING 120 DEGREES!!!!
    in other words its 105 but it feels like its 120 degrees thats bullshit
    btw several people died that day in the city from the heat

  • asc3asc3asc

    August 15, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    Now that’s just childish, our planet is lucky enough to have relatively small overall temperature variations compared to other planets, so as to keep most water liquid and sustain life.

    I thought you were going to refer to those idiots lying in the sun. That’s the real bullshit !

  • LigeiaMaloy

    August 25, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    I slightly disagree. Not all temperature is bullshit.

    20°C to -10°C is the good guy (sorry, to lazy to convert into farenheit)

    For the rest, yeah, bullshit.

    As for the microwave…. never had this problem since childhood, so…

    But as we are at it: you know what’s the real bullshit is? Prepositions! Especially English and French ones. (sorry just a random thought).

  • crono04

    August 30, 2010 at 6:37 am

    These remind me of that Funk Dat song. Hilarious ranting on everyday stuff capped off with words to live by.

  • Schloss Ritter

    October 2, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Did I hear the Glitch Gremlin at the end of this one?

  • gamegirl99

    October 10, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    live in California for a while. It’s hot almost all year round until November when it gets into the 40s all of a sudden

  • paul b

    October 17, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    yeah temperature is a pain in the arse heart

  • HeroicPenguin

    October 20, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    Oh, man, I California sucks. it’s ALWAYS hot, and when it’s cold, it’s like a joke. I miss my home in NC… Out there, it can get cold and it does it without waiting until it only has like two months to be cool. I really just wish it was always cold, because cold is epic. :3

  • countach

    December 25, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    you are the greatest

  • ifritbat

    January 27, 2011 at 10:42 am

    yea I fucking hate temperature as well

  • jequinn5

    February 7, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    You know what’s really bullshit? Having to watch the same fucking commercial 35 times for every video you watch on this channel. NOW THAT’S BULLSHIT!

  • Stripes

    April 15, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    you know whats bullsshit: people who make a comment 11 sentenses long ITS NOT A FUCKING BOOK

    keep up the good work james :DD

  • RMachado

    May 11, 2011 at 4:18 am

    Fuck cold fuck hot
    Let us all live in one neutral temperature.

  • bullshitfan

    June 22, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    You are right Mr.Bullshitman,in my city on Mexico is too damn hot on summer(45 FUCKING DEGREES!!!) AND ON WINTER IS TOO DAMN COLD(9 DEGREES ON MY F*CKING CITY) THAT’S FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!

    • Kimmonator

      December 1, 2011 at 1:36 pm


      So let me keep this straight. +9°C is cold?

      Then welcome to Finland. Summer: +30°C and Winter: -20°C…

      • Splinter

        December 1, 2011 at 4:53 pm

        @Kimmonator Yeah, in the northern parts of Sweden it goes over -30 degrees… you can’t even go outside because your face will shatter as soon as the door opens! It’s bullshit!!

  • bullshitfan

    June 22, 2011 at 4:51 pm


  • glowing

    August 4, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    I believe this song correctly expresses my feelings about temperature today:


  • Rod Lightning

    August 13, 2011 at 7:14 am


  • PhilipHanan

    September 18, 2011 at 12:39 am

    One temperature? I’m hoping God will take care of that after the Apocalypse.

  • toad004

    December 4, 2011 at 9:06 am

    YKWBS? Time. It listens to what you want then does the reverse. If you’re waiting for something to happen, it slows down even slower than my 10 year old computer. But if you’re having fun and want it to last forever, it runs faster then Speed Network showing a special of Sonic the Hedgehog on crack. That’s BS.


    January 1, 2012 at 2:46 am



    My question is this:

    Why does the clock at work move so slow, and the one at home move so fast?

    I guess Einstien never pondered that one.

    • THB306

      January 15, 2012 at 5:26 pm

      @MECHAGARY Einstein never had a job he hated, so time just moved normal all the time for him.


        January 15, 2012 at 5:59 pm

        @THB306 I beg to differ my friend. Don’t quote me on this, but I’m pretty sure he was a book keeper as a young man, and hated it very much.

    • March 24, 2012 at 12:37 pm

       @MECHAGARY Because time moves quicker when you are having fun and slower when you are bored!

  • TheShadowluigi

    March 11, 2012 at 1:52 am

    my father was in the navy once.
    While on a boat during a storm,he LITERALLY GIVES NATURE THE ANGRY BIRD
    2 seconds afterwords the storm got EVEN WORSE.
    THIS is why you don’t fuck with nature. 

  • Krond2010

    April 25, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Try canada, -43°C on average last year.

  • kill-o-tron-5000

    May 7, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    Ontario has pretty neutral weather spring through fall. Winters kind of a bitch everywhere in Canada (The north in general)

    Also those crazy Americans use a totally different temperature scale, confusing if your trying to compare to other Countries, why should a calculation have to be done? Why can’t everybody be satisfied with “one” temperature scale? Bullshit

  • Vontux

    May 21, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Potatoes are assholes, that’s why you have to mash those motherfuckers.

  • ejp022791

    June 7, 2012 at 4:09 am

    Time is bullshit! How come when we work time goes slow as ass but when we’re off time goes fast as fuck. Then the weekdays drag on and on then the weekend flies by. Then you go back to work and you feel like you were just there yesterday and it’s a never ending cycle.

  • keaf1985

    June 26, 2012 at 10:31 am

    I say that temperature is a bunch of bullshit, it drives me up the wall sometimes, going between too hot and then too cold, it’s like just keep the temperature not too hot and not too cold, but that is just impossible.

  • Anthony33

    December 25, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    What happened to the photos and drawings that used to accompany this video? I liked it better that way.

    • Allen Lucas

      January 11, 2013 at 9:55 am

      It happens the same thing in the app version. I think some of the videos that won’t work in the app is also not working here on the site. What’s going on?

  • Ivan

    May 2, 2013 at 1:24 am

    Out of all episodes, this is my second favorite. First favorite is the Printers.
    My favorite quotes in this episode are these:
    “If I can talk to nature: you know I like what you made.
    Space? That’s fine.
    Time? That’s fine.
    Temperature? That’s bullshit.”

  • August 17, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    its also very bullshit when like your playing a video game then the temperature gets either chilly and i get a blanket or something and then i get to warm then to hot then to warm then to hot its awful

  • Movespark

    June 11, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    What happend to the video? There used to be photos.

  • June 4, 2016 at 8:27 pm

    It has been 8 years since this video was on the website and yet, it still doesn’t work! James, I think you should fix something.

  • chills n thrills

    June 11, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    why would you put an ad at the end

  • Mick

    August 8, 2017 at 8:59 pm

    BURN IT ALL, MAN! or freeze it. or fuck it, do what I do and never go outside.

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