Mike Matei / December 21st, 2015
Star Wars Arcade (Sega 32X) / Star Wars: Rebel Assault (Sega CD) James & Mike Mondays” data-tooltip-text=”Star Wars Arcade (Sega 32X) / Star Wars: Rebel Assault (Sega CD) James & Mike Mondays
December 21, 2015 at 3:38 pm
Well that took long
December 21, 2015 at 4:24 pm
Such an amazing comment…cut them some slack…
December 22, 2015 at 9:30 am
Typical Cinemassacre fandom.
December 21, 2015 at 3:52 pm
Sega CD was just awful. Wookie Cookie Cookin…..wow.
December 21, 2015 at 3:55 pm
You need to slow down, you’re going too fast for the turns.
December 24, 2015 at 7:23 am
Right? I feel like there are other buttons they are not even aware of. But that’s happened quite a few time actually lol.
February 9, 2016 at 6:38 pm
Yep, just like in any driving simulator games. But this time, you are just driving a space ship. I guess Mike has never played any driving games like Gran Turismo. God I love that game series. Maybe I should hop back into it.
February 9, 2016 at 6:40 pm
Oh my mistake. Reading other comments, it seems the game has a way to make sharp turns. But the chosen control input for that is really weird. So as a verdict, a very badly designed game.
December 21, 2015 at 4:55 pm
Oh christ, I played Rebel Assault back on an old Macintosh, it’s all coming back to me. I vaguely remember you have to dab, but I couldn’t be bothered to get beyond the canyon level. The sequel was slightly better, in that you actually knew what to do, but it was pretty much just an on-rails shooter, so it hasn’t aged very well either.
December 21, 2015 at 5:12 pm
everyone can play the game online!!!!!
December 22, 2015 at 9:38 am
I had to look up the controls. You have to press up and right/left to make sharp turns. It is still garbage.
December 22, 2015 at 6:30 pm
game-oldies – website is free. But i’m sure cinemassacre fans already know this.
December 21, 2015 at 5:16 pm
IT’S A TRAP!
December 21, 2015 at 5:30 pm
Just thought you guys should know that the 32x game is NOT based on the older vector arcade game, but a newer arcade game from 1993 called star wars arcade.
It didn’t get a wide release in the states and is almost exclusive to Japan. The difference between the arcade and 32x version is just the background and the fact that you pilot a Y wing instead of a X wing.
December 21, 2015 at 5:33 pm
You guys ever play Star Wars Trilogy Arcade? That game was fucking awesome. Ate many dollars of mine, that one did.
December 21, 2015 at 5:41 pm
Yeah, Rebel Assault 2 was arguably the best FMV game created (which is like winning a race against yourself) and it did a decent job as an on rails shooter, but Rebel Assault 1 was garbage. The controls were sluggish and completely unintuitive. And the cherry on the shit sundae was that the images displayed did not always match up with the hit detection so you would look like you cleared an obstacle only to find out “Nope, repeat the same crashing into the wall animation I’ve only seen a thousand times already.”
December 21, 2015 at 6:42 pm
You have to ‘pull up’ while turning right. If you have inverse controls on, then you press down. That will take the ship more across the screen because you are at an angle.
December 21, 2015 at 8:05 pm
This is not the worst Star Wars video game ever. That “honor” goes to Star Wars: Masters Of Teras Kasi on the PlayStation. Seriously, that one should be reviewed by the Nerd.
December 22, 2015 at 4:34 pm
Actually, its name is “Masters of Teräs Käsi”.
January 18, 2016 at 4:59 pm
I don’t know how to put those umlaut symbols over letters. Most people will know what I mean.
December 21, 2015 at 8:15 pm
Hey James and Mike, how about playing Vector man sometime in the near future, its a great game ! 🙂
December 21, 2015 at 8:16 pm
Sega CD version is total GAR-B.TCH!
December 21, 2015 at 8:47 pm
i owned this game back in the day on the PC, as well as rebel assualt two, and dark forces. i thought i just sucked at this game. im glad twenty years later someone else is telling me its garbage haha. into the garbage shoot with this one, flyboy!
December 21, 2015 at 8:52 pm
Loved how you guys legitimized those fake titles without flinching!
December 21, 2015 at 9:31 pm
This game was total crap. Their experience playing this game was pretty much the exact same as mine when I owned this as a kid for pc. Even after I finally figured out out that you had to slow down, only got about halfway through the game before I gave up.
December 21, 2015 at 9:43 pm
try rebel assault 2 for pc is you want a reel good game with reel actors
December 21, 2015 at 9:51 pm
Great video but all I have to say is “Where did you learn how to fly” lol
December 21, 2015 at 11:02 pm
Great job dogging this game. It obviously wasn’t one of the best by any means. It was like they had some ambitious ideas that couldn’t be made right due to limitations of the Sega CD. Honestly, I enjoyed the Sega CD and 32X usually improved live action video quite a bit, making games like Corpse Killer easier on the eyes. But I had one major gripe with the 32X- it could destroy your Sega Genesis. Bought one, popped a cart in, played it and had a blast. Took the game out and it pulled the 32X up out of the Genesis. It never worked again. A month later, tried it again, and same results. I thought that if I were extra careful, it wouldn’t be a problem. But when youre twelve you get careless and forgetful now and then, and all it took was one mistake. Got another Genesis and Sega CD, but no 32X. It might be okay if you only have it in while playing Sega CD 32X games, but the carts will fuck it up inevitably.
December 21, 2015 at 11:11 pm
Rebel Assault really is a frustrating game, but the stuff in the video is mostly a case of “RTFM”. The flying sections use quasi-realistic flight-sim-ish handling; to make tight turns you have to roll then pull up, like Muehltime (and the game manual) said.
Granted, I’m sure this is a lot easier with a flightstick (like I had on PC) than on a gamepad with no analog stick….
December 21, 2015 at 11:54 pm
Hey James/Mike: To play Rebel Assault, you need to use the up arrow when going through the turns. I can’t really explain it well, but the l/r arrows pitch the ship to enter the turn, and the up arrow moves the ship through the turn. The game still sucks balls, but knowing this at least makes it playable 🙂
December 22, 2015 at 12:52 am
I own the game and I was really excited to see what you two though of it. It’s actually a decent game after the earlier levels. In order to make sharp turns you press up and the direction you turn. I know it’s odd. I discovered it on accident.
December 22, 2015 at 4:52 am
I still love James and Mike, but getting pretty tired of seeing time and time again them complaining about how bad the controls are without any effort beforehand being made to learn HOW the controls WORK. Of course modern games are just pick up the controller and the game tells you what to do, but if you’re going to give these older ones anywhere close to a fair shake, at least take a minute to look at the rulebook before you hate on the game.
December 22, 2015 at 8:56 am
Rebel Assault II is much, much, much better.
December 22, 2015 at 4:50 pm
I can honestly say that Rebel Assault 1, at least on the PC, is among the ten worst games I heve ever played in my whole life!
(Rebel Assault 2 was a huge step up though)
December 23, 2015 at 2:04 am
This game was way better on PC. It ran smoother and the controls weren’t bad, probably because everyone used a joystick at the time.
December 23, 2015 at 9:31 pm
I’m not going to watch this yet but, you wouldn’t belive me even if I said, I just hauled that to my new house today… I say haul because it was with a bunch of my N64 games n’ stuff. (I got the one on the left)
December 24, 2015 at 3:37 am
Your comments section ate a comment again, with absolutely no explanation. I even avoided using the dreaded F-I-R-S-T word this time. You guys EVER going to fix this?
December 24, 2015 at 4:44 am
I wanna play Jabba’s Farts Unleashed.
January 4, 2016 at 9:35 am
How about, “Bowling for Akbars” on the wii?
December 24, 2015 at 7:13 am
Brain damage was pretty damn good. I find myself imitating Aylmer’s quotes once in a while lol.
December 24, 2015 at 9:15 am
I remember playing Rebel Assault for the PC when it came out. The controls were a lot easier to handle with a computer joystick.
December 25, 2015 at 9:24 am
REQUEST: You should try to get your hands on a Copy of “Battle Tanks” or sometimes “Battle City” (possible hack?), it’s a great retro 2-Player classic and i would love to see you play with with Bootsy. -‘R.
December 28, 2015 at 7:23 pm
Rebel Assault was hands down my favorite game when it came out. Perhaps it hasn’t age well. But back then it was just amazing. And there is nothing wrong with the controls(there are just as if wou are piloting inside the ship. You need to push up instead of left or right since the top of the ship is facing that way)
January 11, 2016 at 1:25 am
My parents got us Rebel Assault in 1993. We had gotten X-wing on floppy disk a year earlier. X-wing was AWESOME!!! We were so excited about seeing everything in full textured 3D! Then we played this turd. They were trying to go with a multi platform game with full 3D textured environments and ships. But ended up just blowing it! They even came out with a REBEL ASSAULT 2 that was better but NOTHING compared to X-wing with its space battles and open 3D environments. Even though the ships were not textured the game blew this crap out of the water, or should I say stars.
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