I was shocked and sad to hear the news that Justin Carmical, known as JewWario, passed away. My initial reaction was pure denial, that it was just an internet rumor. But then, I saw the following blogs.
I suggest reading all of these personal stories from people who have known him. I never got to know him closely, but was still deeply affected when I heard the news this past weekend. I couldn’t even think straight. I sat in the middle of the floor, just saying “Why?” over and over and again. While the rest of my internet peers have been facebooking and tweeting about it, I couldn’t even find the words myself. I’m sure lots of us all feel the same way.
I had briefly met Justin at the Magfest convention, for a few years in a row. I was on a panel with him one year called “The art of video game reviewing.” He seemed like a nice guy. He was very easy to talk with. Whenever I was in the same room as him, he seemed very genuine and natural. At Magfest 2013, last January, I filmed a short scene with him for AVGN: The Movie. It was a group setting, with a bunch of game reviewers present, Justin included. The scene was completely improvised. I gave them guidelines, but let them say whatever they wanted. Throughout the improving, Justin’s comedic timing was spot on. He seemed like he had a great sense of humor and was fun to be around. Anyone who was there could attest that we were all having fun.
Even though I never got to know Justin closely, I remember moments like these, with him and all the other web personalities that I meet at conventions. I would have never guessed that anything could have been wrong. That’s where the more tragic part of this comes in, that his death was caused by his own will. I could never know or understand how this came to be, or what caused him to make that choice. We may never understand.
In my history of writing publicly online, this is my least favorite thing I have ever had to write. If anyone is out there who comes anywhere near close to such tragic circumstances, please come to someone for help. You all have much love from me.