AVGN: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Mike Matei / July 1st, 2013

Comments

  • Wally

    July 1, 2013 at 12:38 am

    Nice

    • SONofTheASS

      July 15, 2013 at 9:21 am

      Happy Canada Day!

      • alyssa walch

        August 2, 2013 at 10:24 am

        til I saw the receipt four $8104, I did not believe that…my… best friend woz actualey making money part time at their laptop.. there brothers friend haz done this for less than 14 months and just now took care of the dept on their cottage and bought a new Honda NSX. I went here, Kℯℙ2.ℂoℳ

    • August 11, 2013 at 1:43 pm

      you have to work and use the computer and internet, and if you can do that and dedicate some time each day then you can do this with no problem. I have been working with this for a month and have made over $2,000 already. let me know if you need more help… w­w­w.B­a­y­8­9­.CoM

    • August 11, 2013 at 1:44 pm

      til I saw the receipt four $8104, I did not believe that…my… best friend woz actualey making money part time at their laptop.. there brothers friend haz done this for less than 14 months and just now took care of the dept on their cottage and bought a new Honda NSX. I went here, w­w­w.B­a­y­8­9­.CoM

    • Jonahus Thomas

      August 15, 2013 at 2:50 pm

      I want him to review Last Battle on the Sega Genesis 16bit Mega Drive.

    • KennyM

      January 20, 2014 at 10:15 pm

      Way better than the last one, but god dam that game got boring, and you illustrated that perfectly. I love the classic rant at the end

  • July 1, 2013 at 12:45 am

    Hilarious!

  • Jorge Chavez

    July 1, 2013 at 12:46 am

    3rd

    • coute coute

      July 1, 2013 at 12:47 am

      Yes! It’s been so long. ;_;

  • July 1, 2013 at 12:48 am

    Schnitzel mit Kartoffelsalat!

  • KyleJames321

    July 1, 2013 at 12:52 am

    Loved it. I was hoping for a new video soon. I came on here, noticed there wasn’t one and watched a different video. I refreshed the page and WHAM! got what I wanted.

  • Akytalusia

    July 1, 2013 at 12:56 am

    at least it doesn’t have always online drm.

    • Master2873

      July 1, 2013 at 8:36 am

      Remind me what does right now? If you say “The Xbox One”, you’re wrong… If you’re going to try to make a joke, or poke fun at a subject, at least make sure it’s relevant, and true. Also, I should state while I’m ahead since there are people who will jump to conclusions, or make assumptions… I’m not defending the Xbox One for the whole, “always online DRM” crap that was relevant a month or more ago.

      • Akytalusia

        July 1, 2013 at 5:59 pm

        darkspore, lookin’ at you. simcity. the cloud? the future? this dystopian future doesn’t interest me, and it should be something we fight against, not embrace or defend.

      • July 2, 2013 at 1:31 am

        The intended business practices do still matter, and are very much still relevant. The so called “revolutionary” cloud features didn’t at any point require the gamer’s rights being stripped entirely from us. DRM doesn’t work and it’s been proven time and time again. I’d rather play Bill and Ted while Batman’s ramming Return of the Joker up my ass than support Microsoft at this point.

  • Tommi Heikkinen

    July 1, 2013 at 12:59 am

    Super SFII poster replaced by Waterworld for Virtual Boy :D

  • July 1, 2013 at 1:00 am

    ‘this game is diarrhea coming out of an old woman’s vagine’ that might be the best quote you’ve ever come up with.

  • 19Szabolcs91

    July 1, 2013 at 1:44 am

    Great episode, one of the better ones recently. The final quote was disgustingly funny, and perfectly describes this game.

  • July 1, 2013 at 1:50 am

    Bill & Ted was one of those few games I remember picking up from the video store as a kid (I don’t have many memories of the NES because I was so young just that we had one in the late 80s) but I feel what the Nerd went though. To this day I still remember the horror of that game.

  • viJilance

    July 1, 2013 at 1:50 am

    i’ve missed you James Roofe (lel) hope all is well on the AVGN movie front.

  • July 1, 2013 at 1:58 am

    Lol the Pits in E.T

  • fish Ze

    July 1, 2013 at 2:01 am

    Saayyy whhaaatttttt? Funny video Team Cinemassacre. Been watching your stuff since your 2006 days. My First comment. Keep up the good shit. Rock on dude.

  • frostare

    July 1, 2013 at 2:04 am

    A classic style episode! Really cool; the throwing the cassette part to play music and “Fred Fuchs” on the credit card were the best parts for me. Which reminds me, you should post another one of those “random images from AVGN episodes” games one of these days!

  • An Heroic Hippo

    July 1, 2013 at 2:05 am

    Great episode James! And holy fuck, what a great rant at the end! Might be the most foul, gag inducing description you’ve ever given a game in the whole series!

  • July 1, 2013 at 2:10 am

    Always feels good to get a new AVGN video.

  • July 1, 2013 at 2:11 am

    i was actually waiting for this one for awhile, it’s one i rented from the video store and wasted my weekend, i couldn’t even pass the first stage, it took me about 2 hours to figure out the “time circuit” part of the game, i had no clue what to do with it, so i just gave up and turned it back in defeated never to be played again, i knew then as i know now this game was terrible

  • July 1, 2013 at 2:15 am

    New AVGN !!
    Yeah like its like Christmas in July !

  • Daniel Pavelko

    July 1, 2013 at 2:17 am

    Awesome ‘Water World for the Virtual Boy’ promo poster. That’s fantastic. Thanks again!

  • thetruetombo

    July 1, 2013 at 2:26 am

    welcome back!, keep em coming! and I love that you brought back Kyle and the new look from your new camera. it makes a HUGE difference!

  • Aaron1375

    July 1, 2013 at 2:31 am

    This was a pleasant surprise! I wasn’t expecting anything so soon after Taboo, especially not an AVGN episode. Thanks!

  • July 1, 2013 at 2:43 am

    I remember going to the video rental store as a little kid and seeing this game on the shelf. I considered renting it on several occasions, but each time I read the back of the box and was like, “Yeah no.” Apparently I was wise beyond my years….

    And a shout out to Fred Fuchs at 14:13!

  • July 1, 2013 at 2:56 am

    new episode yess

  • July 1, 2013 at 2:56 am

    Wow, this game looks especially shitty. No wonder its from the crap factory LJN. I never thought I’d see an LJN game worse than Friday the 13th or Jaws, but this one definitely takes the cake as the all time worst.

  • July 1, 2013 at 3:26 am

    The last part made me crack up, sometimes i regret that i got started with the SNES my personal gaming history but when i see exploding book and phone booths not as cool as the Doctor Who one…i don’t feel so bad. Great performanca + purtrid game = perfect AVGN!

  • BrandeX

    July 1, 2013 at 3:41 am

    Remember the film. Stopping the Wild Stallions would be a major disruption of history.

  • Czab

    July 1, 2013 at 3:52 am

    The time travelling phone booth reminds me of Doctor Who.

  • July 1, 2013 at 4:05 am

    Right when that LJN label came on the screen, I just started laughing hysterically.

  • M K

    July 1, 2013 at 4:07 am

    One of the best episodes so far! I loved the ending. :)

  • Joshua Vazquez

    July 1, 2013 at 4:10 am

    First response. Great episode. Been watching since 2008. Love what you do James. It makes me happy to know I wasn’t the only one stressed out playing these shitty games during the 80′s and early 90′s. You’ve got talent man. Keep it up. Congrats on the little one. My first comes this August. Take care.

  • EchnaTron

    July 1, 2013 at 4:24 am

    Yay! Thanks, James!

  • Leonard McNeal

    July 1, 2013 at 4:29 am

    Sweet, a new episode on my Birthday, this was awesome!

  • Jel-K

    July 1, 2013 at 4:50 am

    Bill & Teds’s excellent review !

  • Senna4ever

    July 1, 2013 at 5:44 am

    OK I need to bring to light something that has annoyed me for years now.

    James, AVGN’s dislike of LJN is misplaced.

    LJN did not make crappy games, they didn’t make any games at all. They were a publisher, not a developer.
    Every LJN game you claim was made by them was not.

    So blame the actual people that made the crappy games and not the publisher.

    • Dement

      July 4, 2013 at 10:56 pm

      Doesn’t change the fact that pretty much every game that has the LJN stamp on them sucks.

  • AngryGuitarNerd

    July 1, 2013 at 5:47 am

    This one actually made me laugh really good and i am inspired by your ranting and i can understand how hard it is to work on a rant that is flowing to your mind and out of your mouth with emotional anger coming the real nerd we all know and love

    You always make my day james rolfe, whenever i am stressed from anything i always watch your AVGN videos.

  • July 1, 2013 at 5:51 am

    hahaha awesome ep james,it felt like it was a back to basic ep but thats what was awesome about it and certainly one of your best in recent times. imo :)

  • Connor Lefevers

    July 1, 2013 at 5:55 am

    YES FINALLY A NEW AVGN

  • SNES Freak

    July 1, 2013 at 5:56 am

    i know this stupid fucking game and i never made it to the 2nd historic dude. nerd you are so dammm tough playing such an annoying game.

  • SNES Freak

    July 1, 2013 at 5:59 am

    ljn games sucks really bad except the wrestling games.

  • zengie

    July 1, 2013 at 6:49 am

    Happy happy! Joy joy!!

  • July 1, 2013 at 7:06 am

    =D
    Nice to see an other review! Not so nice that it is an other rainbow cursed one.
    So sad to see games fail like this. I mean, true, it might not be the worst game ever made, but it is up there. Way up.
    Also nice to see that you continue to drop hints to your big project =) Good Luck with that!
    Thanks for taking valuable time from your day to continue with these, especially now that you’re a father. We appreciate it.

    Or, just in general: Thank you!

  • July 1, 2013 at 7:12 am

    I know LJN games suck the big one, but there’s at least ONE LJN game that’s actually good that I’ve played growing up. And that game is “Spiderman & Venom in Maximum Carnage” on SNES. It’s a hard fucking game, but it’s a lot of fun, and nothing is overtly broken. I just wish it had a two-player option where one player was Spiderman and the other was Venom. Seems like a huge missed opportunity.

  • July 1, 2013 at 7:20 am

    LOL good episode.

    Okay can you now review all the Gremlin games?

    (even the one for Atari 5200 with a working controller,please??) :)

  • July 1, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Gremlins i meant.. :)

  • Frow

    July 1, 2013 at 7:28 am

    What a surprise! It made my day!
    Thank you and great video as always!!

  • Daemon009

    July 1, 2013 at 7:43 am

    The King Artgur in this game looks exactly like the one from Monty Pythons holy grail. That`s kind of cool :)

  • AbsoluteDeicide

    July 1, 2013 at 7:58 am

    I always use “Wyld Stallions” as my clan/club name in games that let you register. Apparently I’ve been spelling it wrong. AVGN proves to be an educational experience once again.

  • taykel

    July 1, 2013 at 8:04 am

    That has to be the most angriest ending to an AVGN episode since Dick Tracy. Great work James!

  • Rick

    July 1, 2013 at 8:06 am

    Always happy to see a new AVGN! Fuck yeah, James :D Keep it up!

  • Lukas Sprehn

    July 1, 2013 at 8:08 am

    I take it you’ve fnally watched some of Doctor Who? :D Man, I really love this episode James! It’s one of the best ones since you came back from finishing the principal photograpy on the movie. By the way, I love that “…like the pits in E…” line. E.T.? Awesome :D

  • July 1, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Is it just me or does this look just like Jurassic Park?

  • thatrandomperson

    July 1, 2013 at 9:27 am

    Woo. New Nerd and I really enjoyed it. Makes me want to look forward to the next one even more.

  • July 1, 2013 at 9:51 am

    love these more oldschool nerdvideos! In recent days “Jurassic park 3d” premiered here in Europe. did you ever do all those games that were released during the early 90s?

  • Joker83

    July 1, 2013 at 10:47 am

    omg omg omg, I can’t wait to get home and watch this tonight! :-)

  • GreenGamer

    July 1, 2013 at 10:57 am

    Hey you upgraded the Nintoaster?

  • The Kaleidoscopic God

    July 1, 2013 at 11:03 am

    So James hasn’t actually seen Bill & Ted? Wyld Stallyns are Messiahs in the movies’ future. Everything depends on the launch of their career. It’s not just “a fucking concert”.

  • S3ntinel2001

    July 1, 2013 at 11:53 am

    YES finally!!!, been waiting years for this game to get reviewed!

    thanks james!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Vivi

    July 1, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    That was awesome. Much better than the toxic avenger review. THE OLD SCHOOL NERD is back! With lots of bad words, gamefootage and stupid games! Love you james, hope there will be much more of episodes like this in future!

  • Vivi

    July 1, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    btw: An awesome plot for the video would be, if Mike appears as an historical dude, and you and him traveling back in time to prevent LJN to produce this game or bad games in general !!!

  • DR.N64

    July 1, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    Best avgn in a while, ending is classic avgn!!!!!

  • Forsythia

    July 1, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    Oh god, I knew it was coming, but you had me spitting my drink all over my tv when you revealed the LJN logo.

  • mrbigreddog

    July 1, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    I don’t know if it’s just him being the character or not. But it seems James really should have watched Bill & Ted before doing this video. He mentions “Not to prevent some major catastrophe, but instead a fucking concert” Well according to the Bill & Ted movie plot. They bring peace to the universe. So yeah! It’s a big deal!! And he references the movie as “Bill & Ted were the ultimate cheaters, what have we learned from the movie? If you’re failing your history course but happen to have access to a time machine, bring the history to the classroom. If that happened in real life, would the teacher give them an automatic A? Or say.. Yeah that’s pretty amazing you brought Abe Lincoln here, but you still got to pass the test” James!!! It wasn’t a history test, they had to do a “presentation speech” and to pass the class it had to be something “very very special”. Love the video though James! It was funny, and I hated that game as a kid! But I really wish you had watched the movie 1st before referencing it. UNLESS, the AVGN character was suppose to be this way, and have a vague knowledge of Bill & Ted movie.

    • The Kaleidoscopic God

      July 1, 2013 at 2:19 pm

      Exactly. This grinds my balls to no end. I have a hard time believing he hasn’t seen it, though. I get a feeling he deliberately overlooked things for the sake of humor, which is cheap and detestable. Oh well, can’t hit home all the time.

      • Moogleknight24

        July 4, 2013 at 9:41 am

        Or he just hasn’t seen it in a while and mixed some facts up? Just saying… I do it all the time.

      • The Kaleidoscopic God

        July 4, 2013 at 4:38 pm

        I do too, but it’s not like some minor detail! It’s the center of the entire story! Rufus helps them so Ted won’t fail class and get sent off to a military academy, preventing the Wyld Stallyns from breaking through and becoming the foundation for future society. Though not incessantly referenced, is as big of a plot point as the Ring in Lord of the Rings. It’s a huge thing to overlook.

  • July 1, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    hahahaha you’re the best Nerd!
    I cant wait to see your movie!!!
    regard from mexico city!

  • Messy Fart

    July 1, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    Great episode. I like the traditional AVGN style episodes like this one the best.

  • July 1, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    FINALLY!

  • Robert Swiggett II

    July 1, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    A new AVGN Episode?! My entire week has just been made. Thankyou James, for another outstanding episode!

  • itscmillertime

    July 1, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    I have been waiting for you to review this game for ages!

  • Johan Brinck

    July 1, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    I’ve been waiting for this! Best show on the planet.

  • July 1, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    Wow man, you never cease to amaze me! Your the king of keeping your videos fresh! Fantastic job!

  • July 1, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    “You know what you’re using? You know what this weapon is?! It’s a textbook. A Fucking TEXTBOOK THAT EXPLODES?!”
    08:42 -08:50 xD

    “You’ll going to play to an audience full of intelligent Sloths!” 09:04-09:08

    xD

    I laughed myself into pieces!

    Thank you James! :)

  • erik37

    July 1, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    lol nice

  • July 1, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    Great ending!

  • shawnperolis

    July 1, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    Really reminds me of classic nerd episodes, this is good fucking shit!

    • Valis77

      July 1, 2013 at 7:37 pm

      yeah he got his funny back

  • Daniel Cortez

    July 1, 2013 at 5:55 pm

    What’s the name of the song when it shows the Ljn logo? It sounds pretty badass.

  • July 1, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    This sure was a Histeorical episode. :D

  • July 1, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    lawl

  • Matthew Collins

    July 1, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    Well, to be fair to the Bill and Ted franchise as a whole, the Wyld Stallions’ music was responsible for creating a “music utopia” in the future, which is the whole reason Rufus sent down the phone booth in the first place. It wasn’t just to have them pass their history exam. If they failed their history exam, thus flunking, they would’ve been separated and the WS would never create this utopia. So I can see the potential importance of the concert. Even though it’s never explained, I’m sure if that concert wouldn’t happen, there would be some serious ramifications. And there were “bad guys” in the B&T universe, but they weren’t introduced until the second movie. So the concept of “time rebels” may not seem so far fetched to me, just wish that the game would mention them more. But that’s beside the point. Yes, the game was BAD! I never got that far into it because I could never figure out what to do. Now finding out that I had to keep jumping into every object on the board? There would’ve been no way I would’ve had the patience to do that! But if you want to play a GOOD Bill and Ted game, the C64/PC version was much much better. It actually followed the movie pretty closely. Yes, you still had to dial the numbers, but you weren’t confined to which time period to visit in any order. And there was none of this circuits of time crap, you dialed the number, cutscene, and you’re there). But yeah, great review as always! I just wish I would’ve realized how bad LJN games were before I played them as a kid!

  • Joker83

    July 1, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    Dude, you still got it! Holy shit, bwahaha that was fucking awesome! My buddies and I are laughing our asses off over her, cannot wait till the movie man, you rock

  • July 1, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    And this is why you are the King of game reviewers. Long live the NERD!

  • Valis77

    July 1, 2013 at 7:36 pm

    ewww old woman bleeding vagina? Ok James that was a new one but eeeww.

  • Josh Smedley

    July 1, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    3D plane that only recognized diagonals? Maybe you should take a look at Land Stalker on the Genesis next. Even though that’s a decent games is hard as hell.

  • nmatney353

    July 1, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    Anyone feel as if the new AVGN’s just don’t have that “oomph” that the old ones did? I still enjoy my monthly AVGN, but they have been seeming “forced” lately. Maybe I just don’t like that steady diet of time moving on and people changing.

    • Sesquipedal

      July 1, 2013 at 9:35 pm

      I agree. He is trying to bring it back, and this one is in the right direction, but I think he is trying too hard. He re-used old lines, which is a very common Nerd tactic these days. I felt that James and anyone involved became overly caught-up in pleasing fans with the same, instead of understanding what pleased the fans in the first place.

      The ending scene of course reminds me of the Jekyll and Hyde vid, where he brings it down and says this shit is bad. He gets angry and does all the right things! THis episode should be “formula applied, win!”

      but it’s missing the point still. Old videos were good because it was new, and had feeling of trying to be someone. This one shows that he is either tired, or simply relying too much on past fame.

      With Nintendo, there can never be a comparison between games now and games when the system first came out. They evolved in too many ways, and are simply different.

      With James, the now can still be compared with the old. So in order for his videos to work for those who fell in love with the original vids, he has to go back to the feeling of when he was not famous. When he made a vid without all the fancy lights and professional looks.

      It’s a difficult line that needs to be explained and understood for him to make good videos again. this video is not bad, but he doesn’t show the same understanding of the game like he did with other games. Even if the understanding was the same, in the Hyde video, he was very good at noting that he knows ALL games, and this game is in fact shit.

      Bill and Ted, although probably a bad game, was not as bad as Hyde. If you play Bill and Ted like they want you to play it, it’s actually fairly smooth. It’s this fact that he doesn’t pay subtle attention too that breaks this one I think. it’s not a good game, but he has a very tough time conveying to the audience that it is as bad as he wants it to be.

    • JPinta

      July 1, 2013 at 11:53 pm

      I thought this one had all the oomph of the old ones. It was relatively lo-fi, James solo, had some hilarious lines/deliveries, and best of all it was primarily just a game review with good old fashion in-game footage. He was clever, showed good parts of the game, and it was well organized. Guess I didn’t really get the “forced” vibes you did…

    • Topper Harley

      July 4, 2013 at 7:05 am

      I agree. The new episodes starting from Schwarzenegger Games to this one feel forced. Nevertheless i like the episodes…but the older ones are much better in my eyes. It’s difficult to explain: The new ones has the perfect, polished look and the James’ acting is really impressive. I like the old-school-style much more. I don’t want to complain to much, because the vids are still really good. In addition James has so many jobs to do next to the AVGN episodes. There are the James and Mike Play Videos, the AVGN Movie, the AVGN episodes and finally, the most important one, his family. I think James should pause the AVGN series completely till the movie is finished. Last but not least he has to care about his family. I think James is getting exhausted by his many jobs he has.

      I don’t want to be the moralizer. it’s just my theory, why the new videos are different in a way.

      Keep it on James!

  • FendersRule

    July 1, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    PLEASE PLAY THE PUNISHER! Not only is it the best LJN game, it’s a really good NES title!

  • Ren

    July 1, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    dude, i played that game when i was like 14 years old and i’m from latin america, TRY TO PLAY THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE WITHOUT KNOWING ENGLISH!!!! god…i hate LJN so much

  • July 1, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    Sal from the Howard Stern Show is ripping off Mr. Bullshit….that sucks give some credit at least

  • July 1, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    “This game is diarrhea coming out of an old woman’s bleeding vagina!”

    Holy shit, that’s funny.

  • itscmillertime

    July 1, 2013 at 9:26 pm

    hate to say it but you kind of missed the mark with this one. The jumping and falling is the biggest thing to complain about here! You showed him falling about 20 times before you even mentioned how annoying it is! Although, I gotta say it was pretty funny when you kept coming off the screen and jumping back in to insult at the end!

  • kanezilla294

    July 1, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    keep it up James

  • The_Bones

    July 1, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    Excellent! j/k I suggested this one in an email a while back and I’m not sure how many other people requested it but its nice to see your review of it. I never really thought about the educational aspect this game could have had before. I guess the horrible gameplay always distracted me from it. It would have been nice if you talked about the pudding and cassette tape a bit more as well as the enemy behavior like the people who will help you but after talking to them they walk about and demand coins if you run into them. Still calling it the potentially worst LJN game ever certainly says a lot about it.

  • Blue Wizard

    July 1, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    This was okay, but it felt kinda flat. And that could just be my feeling after considering another time traveling LJN counterpart–Back to the Future. There was a nod to Bill & Ted’s success at the beginning of the episode, but that could’ve been expanded on for more entertainment. I dunno guys. Be excellent to each other. And…PLAY SHITTY GAMES DUDES!

  • Five5x

    July 1, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    I owned this damn game when I was a kid. I couldn’t ever do anything! I loathe this game.

  • July 1, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    I think the Atari Lynx version is better an not a LJN logo in sight :)

  • Firx

    July 1, 2013 at 11:41 pm

    I’m surprised you didn’t say it was the pot of shit at the end of the fecal rainbow! Good vid though, homie.

  • JPinta

    July 1, 2013 at 11:47 pm

    Seen every episode and I think this may be my new favorite…great classic AVGN formula and hilarious as fuck. LJN reviews are the best. Much enjoyed!

  • uberrainman

    July 2, 2013 at 12:15 am

    AVGN rules, loved this one. cinemassacre.com has some of the best vids on the net!

  • lotusclown

    July 2, 2013 at 1:00 am

    cannot put into words how glad i am that i never had the displeasure of discovering this horrid fucking game as a kid.. i personally was never a fan of the bill and ted movies anyway, i always thought they were fucking retarded.

  • likalaruku

    July 2, 2013 at 2:49 am

    Where in Time is Rembrant SanDiego?

  • Entrenaturaleza

    July 2, 2013 at 3:01 am

    LJN games were made in the bowels of HELL

  • July 2, 2013 at 5:00 am

    James did a fantastic job on this latest Nerd, it’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for. One of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time constantly referenced/recycled his old jokes so I don’t think this is a sign of James being stale. It’s only a natural progression for the Nerd to reference his past material since now he actually has a past, hence new videos not being exactly the same as the old.

    Great job James! This format for the nerd is probably a whole lot easier for you and we love it, so keep it simple man. Yeah! w00t kAb00tZ!

  • July 2, 2013 at 5:50 am

    I really loved this episode, waaaay better than the last one, Toxic Crusaders. Like to see how you do something in real life that the game also does, like the music. xD

    The last scene was a bit fake, just to be the Angry Video Game Nerd but when it was good, why make a scene like that.

    Conclusion, a great episode.

  • Ben_from_G-town

    July 2, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Ah, this was a surprise! I didn’t expect an AVGN episode today. Then again, it is the first of the month, but do you usually post your episodes around the first? I’m not sure.

    Anyway, fun episode! We got some of the classic Nerd tropes back, and played them to the extreme. Bill and Ted may be a worse game than Back to the Future, but when it comes to adaptation and reliving the movie, it’s worse. And jumping into random objects to find items is ridiculous. I loved when you did that yourself, and the part at the end where you kept coming back and saying stuff! :D

  • Alexander Howard

    July 2, 2013 at 10:03 am

    hah i have this game in rl never playyed it tho seems a bit lame from the cover and this comments before i even saw ur vid :P

  • Alexander Howard

    July 2, 2013 at 10:24 am

    wow and when i was taking inventory of my games and first looked at the back the game looked boring and stupid got me interested for a short bit after seeing this video i wish i had an nes to play it if my dad didnt take it after him and my mom broke up when avgn says a game sucks it fucking sucks more than a vaccuum with a blackhole for the suction power

  • Travis McNabb

    July 2, 2013 at 11:58 am

    “Didn’t that mother fucker say he was going to pay?”, LMAO! That was the funniest line in this video. I’m still rolling over laughing!

  • Smeghead420

    July 2, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    LoL – CLASSIC James. Loved everything about this video. The review, the clips, the editing, and of course – the rage of the nerd. Well done man.

  • slashhh

    July 2, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Well done, James. You made my day with this new episode, it’s really good and interesting as always, we’ve ALL appreciate the entertainment you’re giving us ! : ) And by the way don’t stop the James & Mike plays-series ! : ) They’re so fun ! But please let the videos be longer ! And please you should play S.C.A.T. and TMNT 2 or 3 someday, I’m so hoping to record this someday ! Wish u all the best !

    From your true fan far, far away in east Europe in a small place called Bulgaria :)

  • July 2, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    Back to the old school style AVGN. AWESOME. :-D

  • July 2, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    I used to thought he wasn’t acting back then now that was the day.

  • DON

    July 2, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    Don’t listen to what all the carpers say, you fucking nailed it this time!
    Timing, lines, editing and the way it was filmed, everything redirected to some of your most glorious episodes ever.
    To me, this is your best episode ever since Lester The Unlikely (together with Atari Sports maybe).
    It didn’t feel forced, there were no f/x, just you, the cam and a shitty LJN game.
    The episode felt fresh, inspired and – dare I say – relaxed to me.
    Keep up the good work James, we love you!

  • July 2, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    What a good one! Reminded me of some of your earlier episodes in a very kick ass way. Thank you, James!

  • Jimmy Reed

    July 2, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    What a good birthday I had. I was out all day long and came home last night to see a brand new AVGN. That’s a good birthday, there!

  • July 2, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    “This game is diarreah coming out of an old woman’s bleeding vagina!”
    I had food in my mouth when this line was said. I instantly visualized it. It was horrible. I choked my food down but, I’m not hungry anymore. Probably not ever again.

  • Moogleknight24

    July 2, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Wow… just wow… to make a game that makes Mario’s Time Machine look like a masterpiece in comparison… just wow.

  • karel1

    July 2, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    Never even heard about this game as a kid. Up until today, I didn’t know the HAD a Bill and Ted’s game for the NES.

  • July 2, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    I’ve been waiting so long for another AVGN video

  • MRSpock

    July 2, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    :( He didnt finish the game!

    • Moogleknight24

      July 2, 2013 at 11:36 pm

      Do you really want to put him through any more torture?

      • xenxander

        July 4, 2013 at 10:25 pm

        Don’t make us answer that xD

  • MadHitz

    July 3, 2013 at 12:07 am

    Awesome and hilarious video! I’m surprised you didn’t mention that the music (even though it doesn’t loop) was an 8-bit version of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Scarborough Fair”.

  • BeeFh

    July 3, 2013 at 3:31 am

    Pretty frekin awesome, the ending was especially good.

  • Spence

    July 3, 2013 at 6:53 am

    awesome

  • July 3, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    you could’ve thrown in the Game Boy game. It sucks. For an early 80′s arcade game it wouldn’t have been too bad, but for the early nineties…
    also this game is incredibly redundant. All stages are the same, they have the same music (which is not bad, but when you hear it over and over…barf!). And guess what: This game has 64 stages! So incredibly dull! Hooray LJN.
    If you wanna kill time dead and get NOTHING back, go LJN. Or better, stare at a blank wall for a few hours or so. That’s more fun!

  • Shyanne Azure

    July 3, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    I feel like im the only ‘GIRL’ avgn fan…….

    • July 3, 2013 at 9:34 pm

      Lets hope not or were all just wasting our efforts to find our mates on a cinemassacre webpage

    • July 3, 2013 at 9:34 pm

      Uzz probz mad coolio anyway. betcha

    • Moogleknight24

      July 4, 2013 at 2:07 am

      I hate the stereotype that girl gamers are “Rare and hard to find” There are tons of girl gamers, which in turn I’m sure many many many are fans of AVGN.

      • xenxander

        July 4, 2013 at 10:27 pm

        Girl gamers are rare. They breed them in some secret lab up north and only let out a few ever year. It’s a dry, dry world us male nerds live in, rooting around old shitty games for that one girl nerd to share misery with xD

    • xenxander

      July 4, 2013 at 10:28 pm

      Well now we’re all going to be sniffing at your skirt asking for dates :P

  • Seshido

    July 3, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    “The pits in E… *foreshadow!!!*”

  • July 3, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    Where’s the rolling rock? I miss the crazier nerd of yesteryear. Still I loved it cuz its still the nerd n shib. Keep rocking; )

  • July 3, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Nerd should release a Ljn sucks box set.

  • July 4, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    Happy Fourth, Nerd!

    • July 4, 2013 at 8:02 pm

      Awesome video James, as always, it’s great to see some new AVGN! I have only one minor complain, i don’t like your new microphone voice sound, i miss the old narration sound, for examle your AVGN: Ninja Gaiden video (oh yeah, best AVGN video of all time), there you have “in room” sound mixed with “narration” sound when you explain details of a game, aside of that, keep up the good work!

  • flawn scorpion

    July 5, 2013 at 12:43 am

    Man just when you think that you’re not going to do these anymore………..Bam!!
    I LOVE U

  • Nintega

    July 5, 2013 at 1:12 am

    7:46 This is among the most annoying things in tech history! This is like the fuqn bombs in Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, The annoying mother in Bakugan ep. 2, The narrow jumps in Ninja Turtles, The villains in Speed, The snipers in Dick Tracy, The Clubber Lang moments in Rocky 5, The stairs in Ghostbusters, The bickering in Pokemon the Bicker the Better, The pits in E… Uuuh!

  • Briley Messer

    July 5, 2013 at 2:46 am

    Good old Laughing Joking Numbnuts.

  • AngryMusicNerd

    July 5, 2013 at 6:47 am

    I would know how hard it is to make an avgn episode cause there is a lot of work and acting and words of ranting which makes avgn….AVGN. I bet it would be hard to make an ongoing rant that really made me laugh so this one kinda did for me. James keep on doing whatcha doing cause i know you can do better because your passion is doing this. Just do it for us fans and make us laugh our asses off til we cry to our mommys.

    Love you james rolfe.

  • RealNC

    July 5, 2013 at 10:15 am

    The video doesn’t play in HD. “Stream not found: Cinemassacre-25823.mp4″.

  • July 5, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    I had this game as a child and it took a REALLY long before I could even figure out what I was supposed to do in it. I didn’t have Nintendo power so I was left to roam the worlds aimlessly and because of that 45 degree angle, navigating was absolutely dreadful.

  • July 5, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    this was his best one yet

  • July 6, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    I have played this game and it was honestly the worst experience of my gaming life, I honestly couldn’t have described this in any better of a way than you have. I even had to pay my friend to dispose of his LJN X-men game.

  • Ricky Vega

    July 6, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    Woah! I thought the AVGN was extinct! It’s good to have you back, James! :D

  • July 6, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    I miss Mike’s title cards.

  • nammm3

    July 6, 2013 at 11:59 pm

    that was a great review!!

  • July 7, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    Most LJN games from what I’ve seen do suck, but you really don’t like T&C Surf Designs????? (sorry have to ask cos you show it in the vid)…I thought that was an okay game… have some cool memories of playing that one.

    Again lovin’ the new review though!

    • September 11, 2013 at 3:04 am

      Maximum Carnage didn’t suck. believe it or not, there does exist Good LJN games. that in itself would be a great AVGN episode. there is some light among this LJN shit storm, he just needs to find it.

  • July 7, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    that pisses me off. I remember when I was a kid playing this game and getting stuck in the time warp….now I find out it plays by itself….7 hours ill never get back.

  • lance2011

    July 8, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    Wo I didn’t know their was an game I have to find it. I only remember Bill n Ted from the movies and cartoon. For those if you who never saw the cartoon you view free on the Hulu site even if your not a Hulu Plus user.

  • rush86

    July 9, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    i gotta say this is the best episode in awhile. I hope u keep going this direction. SOme of the past episodes u werent really angry at all but they were still good. This one u seem angry and are really coming out with some really funny stuff. JUst like ur old stuff. Awesome episode.

  • 17yroldgamecollector

    July 9, 2013 at 11:55 pm

    Happy 33rd birthday James. I hope you enjoy it with your wife and daughter. I am looking forward to seeing your movie, whenever I can.

  • Adam Wagner

    July 10, 2013 at 4:10 am

    Happy Birthday James!

  • esb1984

    July 10, 2013 at 7:48 am

    Good stuff, picked this game up a few months ago at a thrift store for $4(way too much,) about one minute in turned it off, thought about what you would have said about it (pretty spot on,) and never touched it again.

  • christian whitmore

    July 10, 2013 at 8:41 am

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!!!

  • July 10, 2013 at 4:30 pm

    Happy Birthday James!

  • SandBoxGiant

    July 10, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    I think I’ll go pick this game up today!

  • July 10, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    Happy Birthday. Both both on the same day, just the fact of year for you is 1980 and mine is 1989. I hope for the best with your family and friends, and just good wishes.

  • DMM_poo

    July 10, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    This episode sits comfortably up there along with the old classics, imo.

  • July 10, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    Great video! Also Happy Birthday, James

  • Elwin Rijken

    July 11, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    This episode is disgustingly funny. James is a fucking genius.

  • July 11, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    Quote:”THIS GAME IS DIARRHEA COMING OUT OF AN OLD WOMAN’S BLEEDING VAGINA!

  • July 13, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    “This game is diarrhoea coming out of an old woman’s bleeding vagina”
    Eloquent as fuck!

  • gutterboy

    July 13, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    LJN: “nudge, nudge, ring, ring, say no more.”

  • zebra homer

    July 13, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    review the nintendo 64DD or i wanna be the guy

  • masgeo

    July 13, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    Best video in ages!!!!! I love them all, but this one really went back to the profane basics! Top stuff, James!! The angry video game nerd got truly ‘Angry’ again – and now I can’t wait for more!!!

    :)

  • July 13, 2013 at 11:50 pm

    One of his best. I missed you, James.

  • Brian OConnell

    July 14, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    I think I’ve found a challenge for you to review, you might have to invent new curse words for this game, “Hong Kong ’97″: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HA5vn_ho8f0

  • July 16, 2013 at 1:08 am

    Why didn’t they just follow the damn plot of the movie?????? Go to different time periods and collect historical dudes for your history report. Each level is a different historical place. Then later, you have to rescue napolean from Waterloop water park. Then you have to rescue everyone else from jail. Final level, run from the cops and get to high school in time for your report.
    Why the hell incorporate anything else????

  • club

    July 16, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    This was a great classic Nerd episode. I dont mind the themed episodes or the ones with guests, etc. But these are nice too. Just the Nerd, one shitty game, and a shitty game review. Watching it the 3rd time and still entertained.

  • club

    July 16, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    I totally forgot halfway though the video this was supposed to be a Bill and Ted game. It’s like LJN’s programmers saved every horrible game they half threw together in their college years. Then when they got another movie game contract, they pulled one of these games out of the drawer, edited some sprites and dialogue and slap the movie’s title on it. Shame on them.

  • Alexander Torres

    July 18, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    James you should review sega saturn

  • Calavera

    July 20, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    I own an NES shaped like a vagina, it was custom made of course. You insert the cartridge right where you would insert the ya know wayner

  • Mindseye

    July 22, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    James, always excited to see a new AVGN video up on the site. Been watching for a few years now. Great work, and I always laugh my ass off.

  • exploda

    July 22, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    I fuckin love the Time Rebels I assume Mike drew

  • July 23, 2013 at 1:26 am

    James, are you ever going to do an AVGN episode on the “Aliens” games? There were so many of them and a lot of them are pretty crappy. Would probably be funny.

  • July 23, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    Yeah, LJN was terrible but they did have ONE good game: THE PUNISHER (Still, no Contra though). That one is still fun. Then again when you’re a kid you don’t know how terrible games are. I liked JAWS when I was young because I figured out how to beat it but now I can’t sell it on eBay hard enough.

  • July 25, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    Excellent Episode,James.

  • July 25, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    I was totally prepared for LJN! lol

  • Aaron Boudreau

    July 27, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    Have you thought about reviewing the game Platoon? it’s a game based on a movie that is NOT made by LJN…

  • DTysonator

    July 29, 2013 at 3:55 am

    Right on, this is definitely the worst LJN game that I have ever played and I actually enjoy some of their titles, especially Friday the 13th, Jaws, The Punisher, T & C II: Thrilla’s Surfari and Wolverine, seriously!

    I was even able to play through X-Men for the NES (after finding that level 5 code of course), but Bill & Ted’s “Bogus” Adventure basically told me to go fuck myself, so that’s exactly what I did!

    I played this crap for about ten minutes and quickly stopped. Fortunately, I only paid $1.99 for it back in 2001, so it wasn’t the biggest mistake of my life by any means :).

  • August 1, 2013 at 7:30 am

    Awesome video as always.
    I think that you should do a review of the movies (not as the nerd obviously). It would be awesome to hear your thoughts and views on the movies.

  • August 3, 2013 at 5:31 am

    how’s it goin’ guys?

  • August 3, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    Hilarious work James

  • August 7, 2013 at 3:14 am

    I want a Nintoaster.

  • August 11, 2013 at 12:18 am

    It would be cool if AVGN reviewed Touhou for the NES.
    http://www.coolrom.com/roms/nes/1954/Touhou_Kenbun_Roku.php
    And no. It is not related to the curtain fire/bullet hell series of games on the PC-98 and Windows.

  • August 12, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    man you will never lose your funny will you

  • August 14, 2013 at 3:04 am

    Hey nerd, ya almost forgot your beer at the end.

  • Evan Sammons

    August 15, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    James’s little dance when you toss the cassette should be a gif. Make it happen internet.

  • August 16, 2013 at 2:06 am

    oh no this game is horrible!

  • Stephen Nelson

    August 16, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    Isn’t that the intro song to the game Snatcher? It sounds a lot like it. (the part when he throws the cassette)

  • bill turner

    August 18, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    I remember i was a boy and laughed at these; now i am a man i still laugh at these.

  • Christopher Mayer

    August 22, 2013 at 4:38 am

    Mission: Impossible on NES? How about that game?

  • Akuma26

    September 6, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Gotta love when that awesome music played when the LJN was shown =P

  • Jared Zimmermann

    September 12, 2013 at 12:00 am

    You want a good LJN game? Review SNES Royal Rumble! I Remember great times w that game.

  • September 20, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    HATE NES GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • October 10, 2013 at 5:21 am

    “Duuuuude, this episode was wicked cool!”

    …was that 90s enough?

  • December 3, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    Haha! it’s Fred Fuchs credit card!! ;)

  • lance2011

    December 30, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    Man I loved the Cartoons and Movies so much I’m pissed off that MGM removed them form Hulu Plus and Hulu Free. If it was on ITunes I wouldn’t fell as bad but since it’s not I’m unhappy about it. I rented this game and man did it piss me off.

  • Lucas Yan Santos

    January 16, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    Well, I don’t know if you ever will read my commentary, but, I’m from Brazil, and I have some things to say!
    1st: You Are AWESOME!!! Man, i’ve watched all your vids in less than 3 days! you are just FU**ing AWESOME
    2nd: This Game “bill & ted excellent adventures” is my fav. vid of yours!!
    3rd: I Would like to see some wrestling games like the wcw/wwf games… I would like to see your opnion!
    And the last thing i’ve started to play Super Castlevania 4 becouse of you! YOU Inspired me! Thank you!! (i’m playing o the emulator, i don’t have a SNES)
    Man, you are simply the Best EVER! continue with this HUGE Charisma and Power to attract fans that you are!
    (sorry some grammatic mistakes…My english is not that good!)
    Keep Going!
    hugs from a Fan from Brazil!!

    • Sammy Schitz

      May 11, 2014 at 3:11 pm

      There’s a lot of potential in a wrestling games episode, considering LJN made FUCKING EIGHT WWF GAMES. By the way, your english is very good, better than some native speakers I know.

  • January 20, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    This is possibly the best usage of a dramatic pause I’ve ever seen! You set up that ending line perfectly! lol Great timing!

  • February 8, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    It’s gonna be LJN… Definitely LJN… HA! CALLED IT!

  • May 9, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    Jumpscare at 17:24 by him! XP

  • Vernon Schaal

    September 12, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    If anyone is interested these are the LJN Nintendo Games that were published by LJN.
    Alien3
    Back to the Future
    Back to the Future Part II & III
    Beetlejuice
    Bill and Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure
    Friday the 13th
    Gotcha! The Sport!
    The Incredible Crash Dummies
    Jaws
    The Karate Kid
    Major League Baseball
    NFL Football
    A Nightmare on Elm Street
    Pictionary
    The Punisher
    Roger Clemens’ MVP Baseball
    Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six
    Terminator 2: Judgment Day
    T & C Surf Designs
    The Uncanny X-Men
    Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
    Wolverine
    WWF King of the Ring
    WWF Steel Cage Challenge
    WWF Wrestlemania Challenge

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