Mike Matei / February 25th, 2013
February 25, 2013 at 2:48 am
I remember when I was a kid, my grandmother took me out to get a doughnut. As we got out of her car, a bird swooped down and smashed into her forehead. As blood poured down her head, I fell to my knees, screaming, “SHE JUST WANTED A DOUGHNUT YOU FUCKING BIRD… SHE JUST WANTED A DOUGHNUT!!!” Flash forward 20+ years later, and birds are still assholes. 3,000 cars on a parking lot, and 90% of their total shit goes on my car. Fucking birds.
February 25, 2013 at 3:29 am
Cool story broseidon.
February 25, 2013 at 3:43 am
I whack off to the bird explosion scene in Nightmare on Elm Street 2.
February 27, 2013 at 2:58 am
That made me laugh my ass off!
“SHE JUST WANTED A DOUGHNUT YOU FUCKING BIRD… SHE JUST WANTED A DOUGHNUT!!!”
Now THAT is some epic dialog! It NEEDS to be used in a movie or something! lol, what did your grandmother do when you said that? Did she laugh like hell?
March 1, 2013 at 3:54 am
Oh, by the time I got that out, she was unconscious from blood-loss.
February 28, 2013 at 2:39 am
Dude, I’m a film maker. Do I have your permission to possibly use this in a movie or something in the future? It’s an epic story man!
Permission granted, kind sir 🙂
June 9, 2013 at 7:37 pm
you know something weird, i’m 15th and i have seen any of the knid of movies that james talks about but for a few. but i can honestly say that i am one of the few kids in this generation who really understands and likes the things that people like james rolfe have lived through. and i for one understand the kind of thing that james is talking about.
February 25, 2013 at 2:50 am
I remember seeing Birds at a young age at a hotel with my family. I liked it but the ending shocked me. First time where the ending wasn’t heartfelt and happy.
good review. didn’t even know about birdemic and the birds 2. Its interesting how you mentioned zombies during the birds review. I always saw the original as a prototype zombie movie.
February 25, 2013 at 3:07 am
I’m surprised that they could make a sequel to such an old movie, That’s crazy that its 31 years later.
Birdemic looks terrible.
February 26, 2013 at 5:03 am
Happens a lot.
Godfather III, Blues Brothers 2000.
Of course James mentioned Psycho II released in 1983 while the original was released in 1960.
I think Birds II may be the longest gap between “sequels” (I say sequel…but it’s not really a sequel at all). But there are lots of film sequels with decades between films.
February 25, 2013 at 3:12 am
I think I have the laserdisc version of Birds II. Not sure if I still have it though.
February 25, 2013 at 3:18 am
I never heard before about that Alan Smithee seudonim, that’s an interesting fact. I always wondered if you would ever talk about Birdemic 😛
Excellent review, James. I like how you connect your own memories of the movie with the review, it makes the video informative and relatable.
February 25, 2013 at 3:32 am
I kicked a seagull once. Walkin home the beach, years back. outta nowhere it swooped down and tried to fly off with my Labrador pup. it followed us for nearly a mile before flying around us real low. The next time it came in right in front of me. And yeah I kicked the fuckin thing. Sorry PETA..Sorry ASPCA.. but yeah unlike the birds in these films that seagull dipped out real quick.
February 25, 2013 at 3:35 am
Wow, I saw it back in 1996 when it firts appeard on italian Tv: I was 9 years old and freaked me out!
February 25, 2013 at 4:09 am
I hope this is a hint that the next review will be of Birdemic, i love to hate that movie.
I’ve seen Birdemic 2 years ago and since then i just love to hate it. It’s truly a “so bad it’s so good”. In the same category of Manos.
February 25, 2013 at 5:01 am
The woman who plays the role of the wife is the same person who played the role of Teela in Masters of the Universe.
February 25, 2013 at 5:30 am
WTF!? Birdemic is a real movie?? I was certain you were making that shit up 😀 . Those birds looked crappy as hell 🙂
February 25, 2013 at 6:28 am
Showtime eh? I guess this was meant to be a follow up to the also made-for-Showtime Psycho 4
pretty funny though how Universal would try to cash in on Hitchcock;s legacy in such a way
February 25, 2013 at 7:03 am
Whitney Moore from Birdemic in Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie
James you are a lucky man to work with her. But please tell me that you didn’t hire Alan Bagh (Rod aka Wooden Rod)
Keep up the great work
February 25, 2013 at 7:04 am
Hey James, I am still waiting on what you thought about the new film about Hitchcock
February 25, 2013 at 8:44 am
JonTron did a great Birdemic review.
February 25, 2013 at 8:57 am
Holy Smokes I never thought I would hear you speak of Birdemic LOL
February 25, 2013 at 9:47 am
Laughed my ass of at 6:33-6:35!!
February 25, 2013 at 9:50 am
I just want to say that I owned this on VHS when it first came out. However, no longer.
February 25, 2013 at 10:21 am
i now want a review on psycho 2! and yes, it was so frustrating watching ghostbusters 2, it was like “dude! the fucking giant marshmallow man!! seriously no one gives a fuck? they just throw them into an asylum??” anyway, awesome video.
February 25, 2013 at 10:31 am
Oh yeah, I remember this. It was on TNT eons ago.
February 25, 2013 at 10:41 am
whats hilarious is that theres a birdemic 2 coming out sometime this year!
February 25, 2013 at 10:52 am
James you need to find this movie I remembered watching on tv when I was a kid. I only remember a scene of it and it goes like this: A few kids go with their bicycle to a abandoned house to see what’s in it. When they go upstairs in the attic,they find a coffin which contains a vampire, the kids try to escape but one by one they all get killed. The last kid managed to get outside but got blocked by a fence and couldn’t escape because of the vampire.He was trapped. The kid begs him to let him free but the vampire refuses and sucks his blood when the kid tries to escape. I loved that movie but I can’t find it anywhere please help!
February 25, 2013 at 10:57 am
I thought I was the only one who liked Psycho II, thanks James!
February 25, 2013 at 12:09 pm
Oh man I think I wanna see this movie. Also your video store is so Fucking cool!!
February 25, 2013 at 12:34 pm
The sound is great on this review. New mic?
February 25, 2013 at 1:39 pm
If I come over to your video store/basement can I rent a movie?
February 25, 2013 at 1:48 pm
nice review James
February 25, 2013 at 1:57 pm
I knew about this one but I’ve never seen it. I love Birdemic, though.
Here’s another movie nobody has ever seen before: “Let’s Get Harry”. It’s one of those 80s “a few civilians against an entire well trained army” type of action film, and I use the term “action film” very loosely. The director also used the Alan Smithee pseudonym, and, it is so bad. No redeemable qualities whatsoever, despite it’s impressive cast. Robert Duvall, Gary Busey, Mark Harmon, Thomas Wilson… So boring, so poorly written.
At least Birdemic is of the “so bad it’s good” variety of bad film. Let’s get Harry is truly one of the worst films ever made. I wish someone would have told the writers that you can’t make high explosives out of a jug of gasoline and a rag.
February 25, 2013 at 2:12 pm
Thanks, James! I was having a shitty day, but this review helped a lot.
February 25, 2013 at 5:53 pm
Which player was used for this video? Still Springboard? Because now I can’t even see the player anymore 🙁
Flash player is up to date and tried different browsers but I guess it’s because I live in Austria :/
just hope that this will work some day…
February 25, 2013 at 6:32 pm
Please review The Crow next, i beg you!
February 25, 2013 at 7:17 pm
With the exeption of the old actress the movie looks pretty well made,but im sure its not so good as the original.But that third movie looks awfull,plan 9 from outer space is a masterpiece compare to this shit.
February 25, 2013 at 7:32 pm
I remember this came on USA back in the 90’s, and my sisters wouldn’t stop turning the cable box off. I never got to watch the whole thing.
February 25, 2013 at 10:54 pm
I remember this one coming out, but never saw it. I can’t believe it is almost 20 years old now, man I feel old now.
February 25, 2013 at 11:33 pm
I can’t wait for Birdemic 2.
February 25, 2013 at 11:34 pm
Psycho 2 was indeed great, I was wondering if you’d mention it as it similarly was made after Hitchcock’s death and decades after the original like Land’s End.
February 26, 2013 at 12:06 am
I remember that night in 1994. I watched both back to back too. I honestly liked the original better because it at least made sense and I thought the special effects were great for the time period it came from. The sequel was just too goofy for my liking. It really seemed like a waste of film.
February 26, 2013 at 1:25 am
Daaaaaamn! That was fun. Dr. F out.
February 26, 2013 at 3:27 am
I like collecting unusual made for television films on VHS format. The rarer the vhs tape is, the more thrilling the hunting for it is. Entertaining review guys!
February 26, 2013 at 2:41 pm
James or someone, help me out.
Is this the movie wherein a paraglider got his eye(s) picked out by a evil bird?
One of the first horror movies I ever saw had that scene, but I don’t know from what movie it was. Is it this movie (birds 2) perhaps? For some reason, i thought it was birds 3…
February 26, 2013 at 3:32 pm
I found the whole movie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_e_1c9g3vM
February 26, 2013 at 5:53 pm
James and Mike, have you seen the “transforming owl” from youtube? Real owl naturally transforms into different shapes including a Dracula bat as a defense mechanism. It will be the scariest bird you have ever seen. Check it out. You won’t be disappointed.
February 26, 2013 at 8:41 pm
Birdemic “worst film ever made” and said with such conviction haha, but i’d like to throw house of the dead (the Uwe Boll one) into the spot tho. I picked up that “film” from blockbusters for £1 and thought hey a zombie movie for just a quid how bad can it be… Lesson learnt.
February 26, 2013 at 9:54 pm
I wish I could forget a lot of the things thought of as forgotten. I clearly remember Birds II. I remember most things. It’s a blessing and a curse.
February 26, 2013 at 10:09 pm
JonTron made a hilarious review of Birdemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzV8Q2fsN0o
February 27, 2013 at 3:43 am
I rented it at least 3 times.
Elderly Tippi is not even remotely recognizable from her younger self.
I figured it took place immediately after but in a different town. Though it really felt like it was trying to be a remake. It’d be hilarious if someone made a Birdemic-quality spoof remake.
February 27, 2013 at 5:10 am
If you liked this movie James Rolfe and are wondering about a sequel be it official or unofficial then I would say watch the movie KAW.It’s not really a sequel but it reminded me a lot of The Birds.
It even has Rod Taylor in it just like the original Birds.
It’s not really a good movie but I had fun watching it.
February 27, 2013 at 2:40 pm
How many times do I have to watch the “full service bankruptcy” commercial, and why does logging in mean I have to watch the commercial from the start?
February 27, 2013 at 8:41 pm
james and mike, just want to say that firefox/google reported this to be an attack site, LOL. it said like 0 times they had found malware on. obviously a false positive. so you need to send your site for review
February 27, 2013 at 10:45 pm
February 28, 2013 at 12:21 am
Kaspersky says fuck you Cinemassacre. Getting malware warnings from this place for the first time in my years visiting the site. O.o
February 28, 2013 at 1:27 am
hey james. i got a warning from firefox or google or whatever that your site was suspicious. i’ve never gotten this from your site before. so idk.
March 1, 2013 at 2:16 am
“Of the 521 pages we tested on the site over the past 90 days, 442 page(s) resulted in malicious software being downloaded and installed without user consent. The last time Google visited this site was on 2013-02-28, and the last time suspicious content was found on this site was on 2013-02-28.”
Fix this, stat, hombre!
March 1, 2013 at 8:43 am
Wow, I never even knew there was a Birds 2. I think I saw the first one a long time ago. You are right that Birds 2 seems to have good action and effects. As for Birdemic, yeah, it’s totally silly, but you can’t say we didn’t get our entertainment value out of it! 😀
March 1, 2013 at 12:57 pm
did you know that Alan Smithee was credit in 2005 for the trailer of metal gear 4 and the voice of Rolento in street fighter x tekken
March 1, 2013 at 3:53 pm
that movie made me hate birds and now to this day i always think they are plotting something
March 1, 2013 at 6:40 pm
Make a review about The Day the earth stood still
March 1, 2013 at 7:09 pm
Hey James I like you remember that movie and how Show time made a big deal about it. I think its funny that you and me at the same time are on a Hitchcock riff. I just reviewed all the Psycho films. But Psycho 2 was not a good squeal. I invite you to watch my review!
March 2, 2013 at 1:28 am
Holy fucking shit Birdemic was truly terrible. Worse than The Room. Which is a feat in itself. Fun fact: there is a sequel that’s supposed to come out this year called Birdemic 2: The Resurrection in 3D…oh yeah baby.
March 2, 2013 at 3:06 am
good stuff james
March 2, 2013 at 3:29 pm
Hey just so you know firefox is blocking the site. They’re saying it’s a reported attack site.
March 3, 2013 at 3:33 am
was wandering if you would be interested in doing a review of the movie “hitchkock” with anthony hopkins. i think a lot of people havent heard of it and id really be interrested in your opinion.
greetz from germany keep up the amazing work
March 4, 2013 at 2:51 am
Birdemic, eh? Looks absolutely atrocious.
March 4, 2013 at 3:50 am
dude she was simply in the sequel as a movie easter egg.. happens all the time. lol
March 4, 2013 at 6:57 am
I heard of the birds 2 but never watched it. Also Birdemic is awesome. To everyone who hasn’t seen it find it and skip to the halfway mark in the movie to get the birds exploding on people and the people trying to fight them off with Wire hangers.
March 4, 2013 at 11:50 pm
Actually, I remember this very very well. But only because it was filmed in my home town of Southport, NC. A bunch of people I know were in it so it stands out. This one kinda sucks, but there have been some great horror films shot here. Cats Eye, Firestarter, Silver Bullet, Maximum Overdrive, Trick or Treat, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and recently Piranha 3dd. Ok Maybe not the last two. But they were a big deal to me. My Highschool band was in I Know and I was recently a part of P3dd. Got a cool dead body shot in that one and some face time. Thou I have great respect for its director and special effects master that movie was bad!!!! Also The Crow was film here. That was a real big deal. I rember the morning I herd Brandon Lee was shot and watching it on the local news later that evening. Tragically passing just before his own wedding.
March 6, 2013 at 8:59 am
Is she in her Bra at any point during AVGN the Movie… I hope so… mmmhmmmmm!
March 6, 2013 at 9:02 am
Also apparently Birdemic 2 is on the way…
March 6, 2013 at 6:18 pm
Had no idea about Birdemic, will have to see that one! Looks hilarious 😛
March 7, 2013 at 5:00 am
i just found a copy of this movie, mad props to my hometown video store for selling me whatever i want!!!!!
March 10, 2013 at 7:00 am
James and Doug Walker should both review a movie together
March 10, 2013 at 12:39 pm
Ha, Birdemic, I actually watched JonTron talk about that not two days ago, small world.
March 12, 2013 at 10:51 pm
For your next Monster Madness, you should do a cult films theme. Think of that. I already have a few suggestions:
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
A Clockwork Orange
*Batteries Not Included
The Hills Have Eyes
The Lost Boys
Scream (If you haven’t already done it)
Also, for The Nerd, fitting into the “good movies that make shitty games,” The Rocky Horror Picture Show has not one, but TWO games for PC. The first one was a game made in for Commodore 64, called The Rocky Horror Show Computer Game, and the second one was Richard O’Brien’s Rocky Interactive Horror Show. You can do SO MUCH with this game, and can even use Mike as Dr. Frank N. Furter (He always looked perfect for the role), and Kyle can play the Soundtrack (Time warp, Science Fiction Double Feature, Sweet Transvestite), And then The Nerd’s house can take off to space, leaving him in the ashes (while he sings “Super Heroes”). Just a thought, but all of these are on eBay, just in case. Huge fan, by the way.
September 18, 2013 at 4:36 pm
I believe Scream was already done, but I donlt know about the rest of them. I would like to see A Clockwork Orange, that sounds good. And Hills Have Eye’s, but I believe he’s touched on that one too.
March 18, 2013 at 8:01 pm
you should do the matrix (1999) i know its not horror etc but its like one of the best films ever
March 19, 2013 at 12:21 am
June 9, 2013 at 5:49 pm
Wow! I remember watching The Birds II right after seeing The Birds a long time ago. But I think it was on TNT or something…
September 18, 2013 at 4:34 pm
You know, I remember seeing the original Birds movie in my Elements of Film class. It was interesting and I definitely thought it was entertaining. But for me personally, it was nowhere near Hitchcock’s best. Now, I’d never seen the sequel, but to be honest, I’m kind of surprised that there even WAS a sequel. It seems kind of unnecessary. I guess the only real sad part about it is that there isn’t any bit of Alfred’s original movie here. It’s just a poor sequel. But then again, it isn’t my job to tell you that, it’s “The Nerds”.
October 26, 2014 at 12:30 pm
Watch JonTron after this
November 29, 2016 at 6:40 am
i can’t belive that there was The Bird 2!
You must be logged in to post a comment.