Mike Matei / January 9th, 2013
James Rolfe and Mike Matei play a few Atari Jaguar CD games
January 9, 2013 at 6:28 pm
May 10, 2013 at 3:34 pm
Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the best job Ive had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this – 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringin home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, http://www.g00.me/Work
September 7, 2015 at 11:35 am
You’re a shitty person.
January 9, 2013 at 6:47 pm
You should have went all AVGN on the highlander one, but it was funny as hell anyhow! I was curious about the Jaguar CD when you reviewed it as AVGN and am glad I got to see some gameplay of it. What an awful console.
January 10, 2013 at 9:40 am
lol I agree
I was laughing hard on the part of the highlanders game
January 19, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Iwas laughing hard too
January 12, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Well, Spoony has already done a full review of that game.
January 20, 2013 at 10:46 pm
I know Spoony went all apeshit on that Highlander game. Here’s a link of Spoony playing through the whole Highlander game & lived to tell of the evils this system & the highlander game had deep in it’s ass.
January 9, 2013 at 6:52 pm
Jaguar CD sucks AAASSSS !
good vid tho
January 9, 2013 at 6:56 pm
The Highlander game is a really poor clone of Alone in the Dark.
January 9, 2013 at 6:57 pm
February 16, 2013 at 10:58 pm
Yeah, this was fucking hilarious
January 9, 2013 at 7:01 pm
You know what the incredibly WEIRD thing about this video is?
The day prior to this video’s launch, I KID YOU NOT, I had an idea for James to team up with Sam T. of “Ebolaworld” and have The AVGN character work with Sam’s “Taco-Man” character and play Dragon’s Lair for The Jaguar CD…
I remember making the premise, too: Taco-Man was about to play “Dragon’s Lair” on The Atari Jaguar CD, then there’s a knock at the door. It’s the Nerd, who says, “Somebody told me you have a working Jaguar CD…”, and Taco-Man responds with, “…You’re not gonna take a shit on it, are you?”, to which is responds, “What do you take me for, some sort of ogre? I just want to review a Jaguar CD game…” So, both The Nerd AND Taco-Man play the game. While James thinks it’s somewhat decent, Taco-Man gets frustrated, to which he responds, “Hey, if you think THIS is bad, try playing it on The NES…”
January 10, 2013 at 2:50 am
It’s a miracle.
January 10, 2013 at 7:06 am
January 20, 2013 at 8:51 am
Its in dutch , but this guy `s got a lot of consoles as well (he`s still searchin for the jaguar cd)
January 9, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Somebody sent me ? No thank you ? No name in the credits ? Nice.
January 9, 2013 at 7:59 pm
Some people prefer to be anonymous. And the person got an autographed thank you card.
January 9, 2013 at 9:29 pm
C’mon man, really? Isn’t it obvious? Watch the You-tube video’s on people opening mail from James!
January 9, 2013 at 7:34 pm
It seems that ratio of good games to shit games is somewhere in the ballpark of 1.2:1300.
January 9, 2013 at 7:39 pm
brain dead 13 was kind of a good game for the jaguar and dragon’s Lair i think.
January 9, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Lovely, knew it sucked and you guys proved it. lol! I would love to see the AVGN do a two part history on Atari. Do a showcase on all the consoles.
January 9, 2013 at 8:25 pm
Spoony did a funny review on the Highlander game. Check it out!
I never owned any Atari console, so if I learned anything from AVGN is that the 2600 is the “only” good console.
January 9, 2013 at 8:54 pm
Spoony digged that turd out even further – he even manages to get to handle the mechanics of it. Amazing review too!
January 9, 2013 at 9:32 pm
January 9, 2013 at 9:56 pm
WHat’s going on with his site? Your link works but my bookmarks won’t. Even when I google Spoony it takes me to the site that’s “Temp unavailable”
January 10, 2013 at 12:12 am
Actually, the Atari 7800 was probably the best, but it was really just a more powerful 2600, and was backwards compatible.
You don’t hear about that one, because it doesn’t have the place in history that the 2600 has, and it’s not hilariously awful like the 5200 or Jaguar.
January 9, 2013 at 8:48 pm
Epic video James and Mike! I laughed my ass off! Nice way to show good old games what they really deserve – They get fucked not without bombs detonating, chainsaws sizzeling or hammers beating but simply the power of you laughing about their fail of impression. Felt with you guys – Thumbs up and thanks for all those great videos! Would you mind to bring up another Board James episode? Try the Lord of the Rings boardgame – it would be epic to see Board James, Mother fucker Mike and Badluck Bootsie fail(or succeed?) in whats the deal to win here: Cooperation
Here is the link to wikipedia – would be nice if you had time to take a look!
January 9, 2013 at 8:50 pm
Thanks James & Mike I feel complete now!
January 9, 2013 at 8:51 pm
You actually got a real working Jaguar CD now? Great!
January 9, 2013 at 9:04 pm
That highlander game was fucking hilarious.
January 9, 2013 at 9:14 pm
This was funny as hell to watch! Please make more videos like this.
January 9, 2013 at 9:25 pm
omfg this is hilarious.
January 9, 2013 at 9:35 pm
This was fucking hilarious! You guys are just like me when me and my buddy play oldschool!
PLEASE PLAY NINJA GOLF!! Mike I know you have it!!! lol
January 9, 2013 at 9:44 pm
Wow, what an epic piece of shit.
January 9, 2013 at 10:09 pm
highlander? more like shitlander. Good video fellas. You oughta do some sega saturn bullshit sometime, seems like thats one of the most forgotten consoles ever
January 9, 2013 at 10:34 pm
I remember playing “D” on Sega Saturn at a friends house… Good times..
January 9, 2013 at 10:32 pm
that was funny as shit. i sure hope james gets more games for the jag and review as the nerd
January 9, 2013 at 11:05 pm
I know it’s not your style, but you and Mike should play some old DOS games. That would be hilarious.
January 9, 2013 at 11:38 pm
That was a pretty hilarious session you all had with the Jaguar CD. Its a shame that there doesn’t seem to be any real worthwhile games for something thats a pain in the ass just to find a working one. At least some good laughs were had though.
January 10, 2013 at 12:18 am
Great video! I think I’m getting to where I enjoy videos like this one as much, if not more, than he AVGN episodes.
January 10, 2013 at 12:30 am
Awesome video. You guys have to do more of these, or make longer ones?
January 10, 2013 at 12:44 am
Oh my god Mikes fucking coments at the end made me laugh my ass off. “C’mere pippi longstockings!”
January 10, 2013 at 12:49 am
“It’s just one of those games that that, it’s like, you can’t even look at it” ~James Rolfe. There’s your box quote fellas! We’ll sell 1 million copies.
January 10, 2013 at 12:54 am
17 buttons sounds like a lot. Maybe it was just ahead of its time. Xbox 360 controller — A B X Y L R LB RB Start Select L3 R3 D-pad U D L R; that’s 16 right there. Throw in a kinect you can yell at boom, 17 ways to input a command.
January 10, 2013 at 1:09 am
Where did you learn to fly? “CRASH”
Where did you learn to fly? “CRASH”
Where did you learn to fly? “CRASH”
Where did you learn to fly? “CRASH”
Where did you learn to be an asshole?
January 10, 2013 at 3:44 am
Ha ha! If you ram the ground in Cybermorph the green AI head also plays Captain Obvious. It says, “AVOID THE GROUND!” and occasionally “OUCH!”. So between that and “WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FLY?” you get at least a few insults thrown at you all the time.
January 10, 2013 at 1:54 am
Just for the record the initial shippment of 20K Atari Jaguar CD’s is said to be the only ones ever produced.
January 10, 2013 at 2:45 am
The last game was hilarious, it’s so bad it’s so good, you know what i mean? It almost, almost eh, makes you wanna buy an Atari Jagauar CD just for that game. Beating that game must be really good for self-recognition.
January 10, 2013 at 3:41 am
No, trust me, Highlander is so bad even *I* couldn’t stomach it and sold it off. However, the review of Battlemorph is a little unfair. You can have real fun with it.
I do own a Jaguar CD.
Battlemorph has numerous much-needed improvements over Cybermorph. James and Mike only went in circles over 1 area so you didn’t get to see or hear much.
1. Cybermorph has no in-game music. Battlemorph does.
2. Battlemorph has a cheesy Sean Connery wannabe voice actor. :-p
3. Cybermorph just makes you collect pods. Battlemorph gives you different objectives on each level.
4. Battlemorph lets you dive underwater! This is needed to complete some missions.
5. Battlemorph has an occasional texture map. Nothing StarFox doesn’t do already, but it’s an improvement over Cybermorph which has none.
One (almost) good Jag CD game is “Vid Grid”. It’s nothing to write home about — just a sliding tile puzzle game — but the goal is to reorder scrambled music videos before the songs complete. On harder difficulties you also have to unflip some of the tiles. This game uses the Jaguar CD to stream the videos as textures, which was pretty new for the time. (Unless you had an SGI O2.)
January 10, 2013 at 2:46 am
@ 12:00 – you seriously need to find cr1tikal to play THE GREATEST HIGHLANDER SH*T BEATING OF ALL TIME with you.
January 10, 2013 at 3:15 am
James + Mike, When too busy to make a scripted video, do something like this again: it was awesome!
January 10, 2013 at 3:25 am
I didn’t think Jaguar CD would suck that bad…It looks worse than 3DO…What a piece of shit…The Real Jaguar (Boomy) makes a cameo @ 00:24
January 11, 2013 at 1:11 am
No, it’s true neither machine changed the world much.
But the 3DO did give us “Gex”.
And the Jaguar did give us “Rayman”.
January 10, 2013 at 3:50 am
awesome. purely awesome. I was wondering when we will see you play the Atari Jaguar CD. I wasnt able to finish watching it earlier , but now I can watch the entire video. maybe someday you can talk about the Sega Saturn. I dont think we saw a video based on that yet and I dont think we saw many videos where you played the Sega Saturn on screen. the 2 part Atari Jaguar videos are among some of the reviews you have made that I tend to watch the most. classic.
January 10, 2013 at 3:54 am
hey James & Mike! here’s something I’m sure you will like.
Starting In The Afternoon Hours of Thursday January 1/10/2013 , I Will Be Posting On My Account On YoutTube And My Account At Screwattack.com The Complete Soundtrack & Sound Efects Collection Of The Entier Arcade Games Of Both Killer Instinct AND Killer Instinct 2!!! ALL Music From Killer Instinct Arcade & Killer Instinct 2 Arcade , Plus , ALL The Announcer Clips / ALL Character Sound Effects / & ALL Bonus Tracks From The Original Killer Instinct Arcade! All In Hopes To Continue The Fight To Bring Back KI From Being Lost In Time & For The Long Waited KI3! 101 Videos In Total Will Be Posted Late Today! It Will Take A Long Time To Post Every Video , But I’m Sure Everyone Will Love It. Stay Tuned! Jason S.
January 10, 2013 at 4:02 am
Hey guys, there’s one more thing you could add regarding the Jag CD.
How big does a cardboard box need to be to hold a CD-ROM anyway?
The Jaguar CD games came in boxes that were pretentiously huge. Bigger than Sega’s monster jewel cases and almost as big as a Neo Geo case! Then inside the big box is a second cardboard jewelcase to hold the disc and controller overlay.
Box Size Comparison
January 10, 2013 at 4:15 am
I saw Spoony’s review for that Highlander game. Looks like an excellent way to get a stress induced headache.
January 10, 2013 at 4:17 am
Guarantee the controls in highlander are resident evil/original alone in the dark (resident evil’s inspiration) style tank controls including double tap forward to run…
January 10, 2013 at 4:27 am
Pippi looks like he raided the closet of Rouge from X-Men
January 10, 2013 at 5:24 am
This is interesting…cool to have some closure with this system and see what a few Jaguar CD games are about.
January 10, 2013 at 5:34 am
To me, many of these games lack a soul to them; they have a blueprint to what a game is supposed to be, but there’s isn’t much of an inner core, kinda of like glorified demos or BETA verisions.
January 10, 2013 at 5:45 am
I love these types of videos. This was hilarious, especially the last game, I can’t stop laughing lmao. Thanks for the laughs guys.
January 10, 2013 at 6:02 am
C’mon James, you got lazy on that one. This is some great material for the next AVGN episode – “Atari Jaguar part 3″. Look up what should you do in these games, get some more footage, use this things you were saying here and make it happen, make the next AVGN on this, everybody wants it, right?
January 10, 2013 at 6:17 am
“Come here, Pippi Longstockings!” “It’s like a one pig-tailed Pippi Longstocking, with missing feet that he just disappear into the ground!” Were the hell is this reference coming from?!
January 10, 2013 at 7:47 am
A full AVGN on Highlander would be good.
Yeah, I know Spoony reviewed it, but AVGN would find his own way.
January 10, 2013 at 7:52 am
I suggest Megadeth or System Of A Down next time
January 10, 2013 at 7:53 am
Oh shit, wrong video
January 10, 2013 at 8:03 am
The last game is funny!
January 10, 2013 at 8:16 am
My god you got it to work….
January 10, 2013 at 8:29 am
finalyl saw the rest of the video last night , and I kept cracking up at the end. it seems that beyond reviewing games , it’s nice just to see you both have fun. from 2 classic back to back episodes , you did a great job just having fun with this piece of shit game console.
and to everyone here at cinemassacre to both James , Mike , and the rest of the people commenting , I have something to share with all of you. this is a link to a playlist I just finished which took me all night to complete. it is the entire soundtracks to the arcade versions of both Killer Instinct 1 & 2 plus all the announcer clips , rare character sound effects , and bonus rare music from the arcade game of the original Killer Instinct. in total , that’s 101 videos posted in one night. it was hard and it drained me completely. by the time I finished , it was around 8:30 AM. god I’m so tired and worn out. and by the time I wake up , I have to post all 101 videos to screwattack. ugh , I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me.
here’s the link as a token for my deepest personal thanks : http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ-RxNOGtF6ekGsgYGnNQwsVmDlOu7cW6
January 10, 2013 at 8:31 am
and no , none of what I posted came from any of the killer cuts or the gold cuts soundtrack of the game. this is the actual actual arcade tracks and sound effects. the real deal. I have a huge collection of KI music from the arcade tracks , to the cuts soundtracks , and even fan made remixes.
January 10, 2013 at 10:10 am
Man those games are painful to watch. Wasn’t Terminal Velocity for the PC out at around the same time as Cybermorph and Battlemorph? That was actually a great game in that genre.
January 10, 2013 at 10:18 am
That was hilarious. I think there could have been a pretty good AVGN episode out of that, especially the Highlander part.
January 10, 2013 at 10:46 am
OMG THAT WAS SO FUNNY! I couldn’t stop laughing when you guys were playing Highlander and those green men were chasing you! It was epic. ROFL!
January 10, 2013 at 11:05 am
Jeez, that actually makes the 32X seem like a dream console.
January 10, 2013 at 11:19 am
Wow, that Highlander one was horrible.
Could have made the AVGN cut easily, I guess, but it’s maybe even funnier this way
January 10, 2013 at 11:27 am
omg! mike is sooooo funny! and that console is SHIT!
January 10, 2013 at 12:06 pm
Awful game console,I almost bought it years ago,thank god bought psx.
January 10, 2013 at 12:52 pm
I love the highlander part.
January 10, 2013 at 1:06 pm
I literally felt something is missing for so many years because you couldn’t show us the Jaguar CD. Now this issue is fixed
I know it’s hard to judge old games with today experiences and not to give in for familiar old titles easily and stay objective about a game. But let me ask you, did you ever find a good game that you didn’t know back then, found now and felt good about it?
January 10, 2013 at 3:29 pm
(Sees old logo)
OH MY GOODNESS!
January 10, 2013 at 3:39 pm
These gameplay videos are a lot of fun. I hope you two keep them up. They’re a great way to provide content for the site and hopefully not take up as much time as some other videos do. (Although I can still tell you put some editing into it, obviously).
January 10, 2013 at 4:53 pm
Hilarious vid James! I hope that getting a working Atari Jaguar after all this time wasn’t too disappointing! Keep up the good work! I find you’re video’s inspirational! Check out one of my series that I call ( The Starving Gamer )
January 10, 2013 at 5:40 pm
Watch Spoony’s review for the Highlander game James. It just gets worse and worse and worse . . .
January 10, 2013 at 6:02 pm
I knew this was coming…I just didn’t know when.
January 10, 2013 at 6:13 pm
What an awesome vidoe That Highlander game would’ve made for a good AVGN episode though, really!
January 10, 2013 at 6:53 pm
I really like these James and Mike videos, they just feel so authentic. I also, really hope a Highlander nerd episode sees the light of day. But, that is up to James.
January 10, 2013 at 10:14 pm
Really like this stuff. Good job. Thank you.
January 10, 2013 at 10:44 pm
YES!! TheJAG!! hehehehe awesome dudes. Always cool to watch
January 10, 2013 at 11:16 pm
I almost bought one of these on ebay with the CD included. Soo happy I didn’t waste the money. Would have been nice to add to the collection, but let’s face it, it would have sat there and NEVER been used. What a piece of shit! Hilarious video though!
January 10, 2013 at 11:43 pm
Wow, that Highlander game really is as shitty as it can get. That was a “funnybad” game ! Couldn’t stop laughing when the two guys kept beating you !
January 11, 2013 at 3:02 am
Highlander one would have been better utilized as an AVGN episode, but this was still pretty great!
January 11, 2013 at 4:18 am
Where did you learn to Fly? burn my head.
January 11, 2013 at 4:44 am
Extremely funny!! Laughed really hard during the highlander game glad you guys saved it for last. Damn that was funny
January 11, 2013 at 7:18 am
This video was actually really funny! Some potential nerd gold was definitely improvised here.
January 11, 2013 at 7:37 am
Great video. I was laughing my ass off.
January 11, 2013 at 9:03 am
HAHA This was fantastic! It’s great just to see videos of James and Mike hanging out being themselves cracking jokes
January 11, 2013 at 11:15 am
I wanna see you do a review of a Pippi Longstocking movie. Or any other book by Astrid Lindgren made to a movie.
January 11, 2013 at 4:23 pm
One of the less-notorious MacLeods on the highland, cousin Guybrush naturally prefers fighting with insults instead of fists. Next time try yelling “You fight like a dairy farmer!” into the controller.
January 11, 2013 at 4:39 pm
Favorite line. “You Orange haired freak, were gonna beat your fucking ass senseless, you little freckled fuck.” i dont think ive laughed so hard in a long time.
January 11, 2013 at 5:16 pm
I was hoping to see them play some alien vs. predator or Primal Rage.
January 11, 2013 at 7:45 pm
This is one of those exotic, $700 systems that nobody had except your crazy desert-dwelling uncle, and even he thought it was a piece of shit.
January 11, 2013 at 10:41 pm
January 11, 2013 at 11:13 pm
I’m pretty sure the majority of these cd based games (sega cd/philips cdi/3do etc.) had no appeal to the Japanese demographic, so maybe they were made to just troll westerners. I just can’t picture an otaku kid playing sewer shark…
January 12, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Pretty funny stuff. I was kind of hoping you guys would check out Iron Soldier 2, I liked the first game despite it’s flaws, but never got an opportunity to play the second one. There’s not even a good enough emulator to play Jag games, let alone Jag CD.
January 12, 2013 at 4:29 pm
Hey i just registered to this site. James you should play Shining Force! THAT IS MY FAVOURITE RPG OF ALL TIME!!!!! And Mike you should play POKEMON!!!
January 12, 2013 at 4:31 pm
james is mario and mike is luigi
January 12, 2013 at 4:32 pm
there needs to be a chatroom for this site
Anyone knows what the music is that starts playing at 8:50?
January 20, 2013 at 3:04 pm
that’s what I want to know.
January 25, 2013 at 3:38 am
Mike, Can you please tell us what is the name of that song?
January 12, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Since you talked about Atari and the one controller-button, I thought I’d shout out a review-request… H.E.R.O on the 2600 … Many a days wasted playing that game!!
January 12, 2013 at 5:48 pm
Play a little bit more on the Jaguar CD! It is really funny.
January 13, 2013 at 2:47 am
Wow, that Highlander game looks horrible. Do you even get to use a sword in that game? Are you throwing punches or is it a small blade?