Mike / February 13th, 2012
February 13, 2012 at 12:08 am
FIRST great review
February 13, 2012 at 12:09 am
great review as always
February 13, 2012 at 12:14 am
Das alot of crap commin’ at you
February 13, 2012 at 12:23 am
@SkipJones Axe body spray?
February 13, 2012 at 12:39 am
lol!!!! good one man. @SkipJones
February 13, 2012 at 12:38 am
“The ball’s on fire…” And I thought that kind of talk was reserved for the Board James segments… No offense intended, Mike, I’m just making a cheesy meta-gag.
But still, this movie is pretty much the cinematic equivalent of a PDQ Bach sym-phony. Plagiaristic at every turn, but still enough to make you laugh all the way.
What’s the next movie you have lined up?
Hmm, I guess the “Motherfuckin’ Monday” slogan and Motherfucker Mike name are being downplayed or scrapped? Hope it’s not a response similar to people hating the accent in OverAnalyzers so much that it got changed.
February 13, 2012 at 12:43 am
Death Wish was not made by Cannon Films. Death Wish 2, 3, 4, and 5 were after they bought the rights to do so. Also, since it was based on a novel, it was not made to cash in on Dirty Harry. In fact, it almost didn’t get made at all given it’s controversial subject matter.
February 13, 2012 at 12:44 am
aaaaawww no “It’s motherfucking monday” intro? ;9
February 13, 2012 at 3:19 am
@RenzoNaupari he got tired of it. I never liked calling him a mother fucker anyway.
February 13, 2012 at 12:45 am
LMAO! Link’s part was hilarious
February 13, 2012 at 12:52 am
I hope you keep doing these after James is done with the movie, man.
February 13, 2012 at 1:46 am
My favorite review youve done yet man, you get better with each one. Keep it up mike! And keep it goin even after James gets back if you can.
February 13, 2012 at 1:50 am
James, you never made A Boy And His Blob and I need a part in your movie, here’s a short movie I made on break at work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oouTeNz_IzM
February 13, 2012 at 1:55 am
Definitely the best motherfucking monday review so far. These keep getting better haha
February 13, 2012 at 2:18 am
Funniest MotherFuckingMonday review yet!
February 13, 2012 at 2:37 am
3D overload! eyeballs will self destruct in T minus 8:23!
February 13, 2012 at 2:40 am
Perhaps Zelda took the triforce idea from that guy’s forehead? After all, it WAS made in 1983…
February 13, 2012 at 3:15 am
@Darkhyrulelord that is possible.
February 13, 2012 at 3:30 am
@Darkhyrulelord I think they got it from the Hojo clan’s symbol.
February 13, 2012 at 12:35 pm
@Darkhyrulelord Nay, the symbol that would become the Triforce has a long history in Japan. A lot of Japanese and Buddhist items were incorporated in the games, like the swastika level design and masks in Majora’s Mask.
February 13, 2012 at 3:18 am
No motherfucking monday intro? Otherwise good review.
February 13, 2012 at 3:34 am
So Cannon is a moviecompany like ‘The Asylum’ ?
February 13, 2012 at 3:36 am
Oh dude, you got me with Robo Vampire, I think you got me with this one too! Gotta see it
February 13, 2012 at 4:24 am
Realyl good one Mike, it’s really nice to see, how you progress every week. 2-3 more months, and your reviews will be simply outstanding.
February 13, 2012 at 5:19 am
what a shitty movie. :p
February 13, 2012 at 5:28 am
Who knew that axe spray products were so powerful
Great movie review to a really shity movie but I got one better its called Dragonball The Magic Begins a live action remake of the anime movie Dragonball and the curse of the blood rubies made it Thiwan in 1991. I don’t know what meadom it came out in a friend of mine gave it to me in AVI formate. If you run across it you will not believe what a piece of shit it is.
February 13, 2012 at 6:02 am
I couldn’t see ANY ressemblance between the Raiders boulder-scene and this one’s fireball-scene… NOTHING!!!!!!
February 13, 2012 at 6:11 am
That movie looked like it made no sense whatsoever. A crap monster at the very end? Let me guess, they never made a sequel? So that crap monster thing has no point now!
February 13, 2012 at 6:50 am
death wish is legitimately awesome tho, charles bronson kicks ass
February 13, 2012 at 7:05 am
Please, try Alucarda!
February 13, 2012 at 7:34 am
I miss your “Motherfuckin’ Monday” intro. Though I can understand why you might want to distance yourself from the “motherfucker” persona and just be “mike”.
Anyways, great review. I’m loving these really cheesy shitty movies you’re reviewing. They’re all so god damned terrible, it’s great. Keep up the good work!
February 13, 2012 at 12:53 pm
@DonSkiver I don’t see why a persona would hurt him, James is hardly James, he’s pretty much just known by 90% of his fanbase as the nerd. Hell, MFMike at least has his name in it, and is awesome.
February 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm
@DonSkiverI too miss the motherfucking mondays intro. He’s getting older now and having a nickname like Motherfucker Mike probably seems pretty immature to him but truthfully he’s kinda created a monster that I suspect will haunt him to his grave and it’d be more graceful to just flow with it rather than resist or fight it.
February 13, 2012 at 7:58 am
Still better than the entire Transformers trilogy.
February 13, 2012 at 8:12 am
Come on, Cannon was not specificly ripping off any other movies, neither is the original Death Wish a) a Cannon production nor b) a Dirty Harry knock off in any way. It’s two completely different movies, both good in their own right (though Dirty Harry is better). Cannon ist mostly known for making a lot of cult action movies, such as The Delta Force, American Ninja, Murphys Law etc. If any movie is was made to cash in after Dirty Harry, it’s McQ starring John Wayne.
February 13, 2012 at 8:31 am
@SpoonerXYZ Yes. And if we are going to be really specific, Cannon didn’t even actually make this film. See, the Italians were the ones making all the Indiana Jones knock-offs, such as: Ark Of The Sun God, Hunters Of The Golden Cobra, Jungle Raiders (another one distributed by Cannon that might have had some actual Cannon money) and the one Mike is reviewing here. Cannon just stepped in to distribute the film. If you go to IMDB and look under “company credits” you will see that Cannon, nor anyone from Cannon had anything to do with this film. But I really don’t blame Mike for getting that one wrong as many places site Cannon as the maker of this turd. They may have given some grace money (completion funds) so that they were given the American distribution rights, but they simply didn’t not make this one. On a side note, if you want to see some great Italian Raiders rip-offs, then check out Ark Of The Sun God, and Hunters Of The Golden Cobra. They are a blast. Ark actually has a car chase scene that cuts between real cars and toy cars. You’ll have a good time with these. But like Mike said, avoid Treasure Of The Four Crowns, it’s just plain bad. Also, is it just me, or does this film’s lead look a lot like Don Stark from That 70′s show?
February 13, 2012 at 8:35 am
@Dino D L @SpoonerXYZ Cannon films did “King Soloman’s Mines” which was a shameless rip-off of Indiana Jones (The source material wasn’t, but their adaptation was). It even had John Rhys-Davies (Salah) in it.
February 13, 2012 at 8:47 am
@Big McLargehuge @SpoonerXYZ Well, that’s one. But for the most part, Cannon started trends. They were not always good trends, but trends none the less. All studios try to cash in on successful hits which is why you have movies that would come out with similar themes from different companies: Like in the 80′s when you would have The Abyss from one company, and Leviathan, and Deep Star Six from two others. Or the brain swap movies such as: Like Father Like Son, 18 Again, Dream A Little Dream, and Vice Versa. Heck, sometimes studios didn’t wait for a films release. They would hear about an upcoming project and want to start one of their own, which is why cheaper knock-offs like Deep Star Six got out before The Abyss. So it is not unique to any one comapny. They all do it.Now, could somebody go get me a rewrite on this The Avengers meets Lord Of The Rings hybrid. : )
February 13, 2012 at 8:26 am
Nice, I love Cannon’s films from the 80′s when the company was run by Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. They made some of the best “bad” movies of the decade like Enter the Ninja. I haven’t heard of this one though, it looks, uh, interesting.
February 13, 2012 at 8:36 am
I like that you have more on-screen jokes now Mike. Your reviews are definitely improving each week. Good job, keep it up!
February 13, 2012 at 8:44 am
Hey Mike, your Three Stooges t-shirt is awesome.
February 13, 2012 at 9:01 am
Even if you don’t say it, I still think of this as “Mother FN Monday.”
Also, have you seen R.O.T.O.R? Classic lame sci-fi.
February 13, 2012 at 9:45 am
Mike, you cannot compare Dirty Harry & Death Wish. They’re two totally different films and both are exceptionally good.
February 13, 2012 at 9:48 am
Okay, this stuff is cool to hod us off, but seriously, when is the new AVGN coming out. (BTW please keep doing motherfuckin mondays) The modern day version of cannon wish would be the asylum.
February 13, 2012 at 11:10 am
James is working on the AVGN movie and won’t be making AVGNs until he’s done. Don’t you ever watch or read anything on this site besides AVGN?
February 13, 2012 at 11:05 am
Lol hilarious review
February 13, 2012 at 11:28 am
dude thats the kings of hyrule
February 13, 2012 at 11:29 am
Very kool. I like that you did a bit of animation for the in-jokes. Since you have an art background and we all know you can draw great, it’d be a nice way to create your own unique edge to all these projects by working that angle. I don’t think it’d need ot be insanely overanimated or a screen joke every 10 seconds, but i do really enjoy seeing you get creative like that.
February 13, 2012 at 12:01 pm
Carl Barks is a legend.
February 13, 2012 at 12:19 pm
February 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Actually, “Treasure Of The Four Crowns” was only distributed by Cannon not made by Cannon. If it had been made by Cannon it would have been AMAZING!
If you want to talk about Cannon films ripping off Indiana Jones, a MUCH more blatant example would be the Alan Quatermain films with Richard Chamberlain. yeah, the Quatermain books came first, but these films were clearly meant to cash in on Indy.
Hell, they even featured John Rhys-Davies in a supporting role.
February 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Great review Mike! You’re creating yolur own style of reviewing – and I’m really enjoying it. ^^
I’ve always liked when movies have the songs play when the credits are over. It happens in Tron and Shock Treatment. But those are also high kick inducing jams.
February 13, 2012 at 12:49 pm
I hate indiana jones, its nothing but jewish propaganda bullshit…
February 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm
@supercainn Well I didn’t expect to read that today…
February 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm
@supercainnCare to elaborate, or are you just an immature hate-filled troll? The series seems to have more Christian symbolism than anything else. George Lucas, who created the character, is not Jewish.
Let me guess, you’ve never actually even seen any of the films, right? What would the Jewish community need to propagate in this day in age anyway?
February 13, 2012 at 3:40 pm
@supercainn I…I think that this is a joke comment. I cannot quit tell.
February 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm
History repeating!? Or what else to say about the current 3D-hype. Yet again 3D often seems to be more important than plot and character development. And it also adds to the movie-trailer-cliches: Blablabla – “This summer” – blablabla – record-scratch, gag – blablabla – Adam Sandler – blablabla – “In 3D!”
February 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm
0:45 – really how can you not think of turkish star wars? some guy jumping through the air to the indiana jones theme
February 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm
@ionr This thing with it in this review is that Mike has put on the Indy music, in Turkish Star Wars it’s part of the actual film.
February 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm
There are so many terrible 80′s and early 90′s flicks that laughably tried to set up a sequel that never came to fruition.
February 13, 2012 at 6:48 pm
@JATHE_Tommy Yeah, like Mac & Me. Thank Christ he never came back.
February 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm
God I love the 3rd Friday the 13th..Not for the 3D though. Mike, you should do a review of the Puppet Master series!!! I always hoped it was one you guys would talk about on here.
February 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm
What a horrible film!
today is a good day
question to all you Indiana Jones nerds: why didn’t Mr. Jones just stand still when that rock started rolling? it would have passed safely over head.
You should review the Jack Hunter series. Now those are bad movies.
@Frankie, you don’t need to be a “nerd” to realize the rock closed off the only way of exiting the cavern..
very bad it was.
@frankie. If he stood still the rock wouldve sealed him in the cave
I read Treasure of the Four Clowns….. >.>
LOL, only three crowns.
That movie is damn-near impossible to find these days.
amazon power and get a real old VHS i miss that
no fame & fortune here.
Way to go Mad Mike!
ah, i didn’t realize that. but i think id rather be sealed in a cave than squished by a rock. then again, i’m not a badass archeologist
February 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm
okie, mikes growing on me, this one was much better.
February 14, 2012 at 12:17 pm
@Cole_Patrick Really? I don’t think he’ll ever grow old on me.
February 13, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Being an awful movie lover, I find myself running straight here every Monday to see your reviews. Keep them coming.
February 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm
February 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm
February 13, 2012 at 3:56 pm
I’m ok with gimmicky 3-D in comedy or horror movies. But not this shit.
February 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm
downloaded this off demonoid, this was hilarious!
February 13, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Live like a windrammer as you fuck.
February 13, 2012 at 4:16 pm
@ABOhiccups I just watched that Mailbag episode. I laughed my fucking ass off! That email was hilarious!
February 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm
As soon as I saw that “C->” at the beginning, I knew this movie couldn’t be good. Cannon was like the LJN of cinema
February 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm
@JoeyZavala Nah, SOME of their movies were decent. NONE of LJN’s game really were.
February 13, 2012 at 4:19 pm
No offence but your jokes on these monday reviews sound a too little forced to me. In fact, your reviews start to remind me of the Nostalgia Critic ones(especialy in this episode) they’re still more informatives though. I used to love critic review but now they’re going down hill. I prefer when you share your spontanious reaction with us (or at least what seem to be spontanius reactions) like in the Street fighter movie or the Screaming Werewolf review. In these review, you sound more natural and spontanious which was funny. I’m not trying to be an ass hole or being a pretencious punk who think he can do better, here it just what i’ve notice.
Still keep up the good work.
February 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm
No offence but your jokes on these monday’s reviews sound a little too forced imho. In fact, your reviews start to remind me of the Nostalgia Critic ones (especialy this episode) they’re still more informatives though. I used to love Critic review but now they’re going down hill more and more every weeks. I prefer when you share your spontanious reaction with us (or at least what seem to be spontanius reactions) like in the Street fighter movie or the Screaming Werewolf review. In these review, you sound more natural and spontanious which was funny. I’m not trying to be an ass hole or being a pretencious punk who think he can do better here, It’s just what i’ve notice.
Still, keep up the good work
February 14, 2012 at 1:40 pm
@SonicUnderground316 No offense, but that entire contrived post sounded a bit forced, imho. Seriously man, I’m not “jumping to Mike’s defense” or something, but I really can’t see why some people come in here JUST to bust James or Mike’s balls about some silly thing like “man, that joke seemed forced”. You come here because, supposedly, you enjoy their videos. Complaining because you’re not getting Oscar quality comedy? Kind of defeats the purpose of the videos. Plus…..they’re free.
February 13, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Where do you find these movies? lol
February 13, 2012 at 5:03 pm
The flamethrowing scene at the end reminds me at this,
about 2:50 here –> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=strKBSyKNUQ
Seems like Till from Rammstein also found the magic gems.
February 13, 2012 at 5:24 pm
I LOVE MOTHERFUCKIN MONDAYS.
February 13, 2012 at 6:17 pm
So, Cannon was like The Asylum from the 80′s?
February 13, 2012 at 7:24 pm
@IkerRivercast You could make that comparison. It’s not totally far off.
One of the biggest differences was most Cannon’s films were shown in the theater and many of them became big hits. They even had a deal to produce a Spider-Man film at one point. Both The Asylum and Cannon Films followed Hollywood trends but Asylum’s movies are far more blatant rip-offs. Cannon followed trends too, but also helped popularize trends such as Ninja action movies which were popular throughout the decade. Then again, One of their biggest hits was “Missing in Action” which ripped off Rambo: First Blood part II but was a huge hit when it came out.
One interesting movie they made was the horror/comedy “House of the Long Shadows” which starred Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Vincent Price and John Carradine. Some of their movies were even nominated for Academy Awards, like “Runaway Train”.
But alas, they also made such stinkers such as Superman IV Captain America (1990) and Masters of the Universe.
Anyway, sorry for the obnoxious history lesson but I’m an 80′s kid and I LOVE Cannon Films!!
Must see Cannon Group films:
-Enter the Ninja
-Revenge of the Ninja (probably my favorite. Awesome movie)
-Ninja III: The Domination (One of the funniest “bad” movies ever)
-Missing in Action
-The American Ninja series
-Death Wish II, III, and Crackdown (They didn’t make the original)
-Over the Top
-Invaders from Mars
-The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
February 13, 2012 at 9:04 pm
@Mike/Cinemassacre @IkerRivercast Yeah I agree. He’s one of those great actors that can make even the shittiest of movies watchable.
February 13, 2012 at 9:55 pm
@IkerRivercast Oh, I just thought I’d mention that in Death Wish 3 you get to see Deanna Troi’s titties. Magnificent.
February 14, 2012 at 1:38 pm
@Mike/Cinemassacre @Big McLargehuge @IkerRivercast The only copy of that movie I could find, unfortunately, had Swedish subtitles. But hey……having all those classic actors together in one film made it bearable.
February 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Hahahaha that was GREAT! These reviews are getting better and better. The bit with Link was really funny. Almost as funny as this movie’s ridiculous special effects. Stryker’s head spinning and shooting fire was one of the silliest things I’ve seen!
February 13, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Kudos to you sitting through this crap. I couldn’t do it.
February 13, 2012 at 7:54 pm
I remember Cannon from the credit animation but somehow don’t connect it with cheese in my movie memory. Maybe I was just too easy to impress back then :p
February 14, 2012 at 1:45 pm
@PB Jones Little kids aren’t cynical enough yet (thankfully) to really care about things like cheesy special effects or low budgets…or hell, bad acting. I know I didn’t. Which is why when I saw Plan 9 From Outer Space as a kid, not only did I think it was actually creepy, but I took that shit dead serious, lol. Sometimes, I kinda still wish I was that way. Things were far more enjoyable through that lense. Though I will say, I do try my best to just not care about things like effects and other elements that make a lot of “bad” movies “bad” as an adult. Sure…there are some movies that are just plain unwatchable (look up Rem Lezar), but I still contend that in the case of most “bad” films, if you enjoy it, then it isn’t really “bad” after all.
Mike, I love your reviews, but I wish you would review a few decent cult/fan-followed films. I’d love to see a review from you on The Goonies, Toxic Avenger, or maybe even a video game review. Also, I’d love to see a Motherfucker Monday movie review on Masters of the Universe.
February 13, 2012 at 9:36 pm
I guess you havn’t noticed, shitty movies are kinda their thing…
February 13, 2012 at 10:18 pm
@starscream House (1977) that looks like a decent movie.
February 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm
@starscream I can see where you’re coming from, and if you’ve noticed, James himself has reviewed a lot of those type of more known films already for Spike.com and even on here. But with Mike’s reviews, part of the point kind of seems to be that he lets us know about super-obscure films that most of us have never heard of. Personally, I enjoy that element of it.