Robo Vampire (1988)

Mike / December 26th, 2011


Comments

  • Erwinator

    December 26, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    look like a movie that belongs in a ”100 sci-fi box”. That box has also a lot of bad(but sometimes fun) movies.

  • ScottHamilton

    December 26, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    Peice of SHIT Movie.

  • MarcWarner

    December 26, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Ha, lol it looks like one of those god awful movies that is SO bad you just have to enjoy it or you’ll mind will explode… Like Yor’s World.

  • Erwinator

    December 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I also saw a bad movie these days… it’s called ”Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women”

  • Slogra

    December 26, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Interesting new series Mike. Also, I spotted the Alien Quadrilogy on the shelf! By the way, who’s shelf is that – Mike’s or James’?

    • MotherFucker Mike

      December 26, 2011 at 1:20 pm

      @Slogra It’s my shelf. I’d like us to do something on the Alien movies someday. James reviewed the first one for Monster Madness, but hopefully we can talk about the others someday.

      • Slogra

        December 26, 2011 at 2:59 pm

        @MotherFucker Mike It would be interesting to see what you guys think about the 3rd and 4th movies, which tend to be the most divisive in the group. Perhaps an Aliens 6-part series should be produced? :D That is, if you count the bastard children Alien vs. Predator movies. Also, thanks for the reply.

      • Erwinator

        December 26, 2011 at 6:12 pm

        @Slogra@MotherFucker Mike

        Don’t forget the new Ridley Scott movie that plays in the same universe like Alien , but (so far) only has the head of the spacejockey.

        > Prometheus <

      • swarginverg

        December 26, 2011 at 7:16 pm

        There’s Prometheus, the Alien prequel coming out soon so maybe you’ll have the opportunity to do something on them.@MotherFucker Mike @Slogra

  • MauricioMCG

    December 26, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Wow…

    Like a home-made video

  • JuhaHiltunen

    December 26, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    I think this is cool idea. :)

  • Memento

    December 26, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    As bad as a movie can get

  • December 26, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Awesome work Motherfucker!!! it is good to see a new show, i wanted to see more of your own productions, thanks Fucking Mike!

  • DavidBembenek

    December 26, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    Well atleast it has more continuity than the turkish star wars movie

  • GreyFox

    December 26, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    What a random piece of shit movie, I love it! Thanks for doing this Mike, this is a pretty cool idea. Looks like you’re not gonna run out of shitty movies anytime soon too, lol.

  • KeithEllwood

    December 26, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    Right on! Love the idea of Motherfuckin’ Mondays!!

  • drayster75

    December 26, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    these are fucking awesome! merry motherfuckin holidays!

  • benjigoenitz

    December 26, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    I love the idea and the review =D

  • Jyo

    December 26, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    It’s aweful! :D Also Chinese vampires can’t walk to they hop.

  • yoshimickster

    December 26, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    Funny thing about the hopping vampires, that’s actually derived from an old Chinese monster called the jiangsheng known in America as “The hopping vampire”. Movie still sucks, but it least it got that SORT-OF right.

  • transfixed32

    December 26, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Why do I have a feeling that most of these will end with, “It’s awful, I love it!”?

  • MikeWhittemore

    December 26, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    More from motherfucker!

  • Raccoon

    December 26, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Simply brilliant

  • statueofmike

    December 26, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    haha

  • IgorGeek

    December 26, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    hahahahaha that was great, mike!

  • Dronetek

    December 26, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Good stuff. Lets see some more.

  • aL3891

    December 26, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    awsome, i love mike :D

  • CyrilWindlovver

    December 26, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    That’s definitely the strange movie…

  • transfixed32

    December 26, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    Never understood why people waste their time shitting out movies like this.

  • Freddy20_

    December 26, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Awesome, Monday will be my new favorite day! (After TMNT Tuesday ended)

    But one thing, I hope you won’t review just obscure movies that no one has seen, it would be fun if you took movies that people have seen and was actually some effort put into them every once in a while…

  • lporto

    December 26, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    “It’s fucking awful. I love it.” is my new favorite line.

  • Mr_Foxhound

    December 26, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    I bought this film at a flea market as a part of a two-pack deal, (basically two dvd’s taped to one another) and opted out of finishing it within the first 20 mins. Though, the second dvd was an absolute masterpiece. THE sultan of shit flicks, Warrior of the Lost World.

  • adamtalley

    December 26, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    AWESOME! I love this new segment. On our podcast on mondays we’ve done for the last few years, we discuss horrid movies no one has ever seen. Let me recommend some future segments of Mother Fuckin’ Mondays! — Warrior of the Lost World, Megaforce, Ator: The Fighting Eagle series, Killer Shrews, Manos!, Maxium Xul and many others that escape me at the moment. But Megaforce. Oh Megaforce. My favorite movie ever!

  • adamtalley

    December 26, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Oh crap. Just realized that you already reviewed MEGAFORCE on this site. Still, it is the best movie ever made. Criteron needs to get on that and release a remastred DVD or BR of that! Barry Bostwick commentary, natch.

  • December 26, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    I think I’m going to like this!

  • DerekBerg

    December 26, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    FUCK YEAH. MOTHERFUCKING MIKE!

    FUCK.

    YES.

  • setsukun

    December 26, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    ….Am I the only one getting audio/video desync?

  • GrayHulk

    December 26, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    Awesome!

    Maybe the ghost was the girl taking bath and the Gorila-Vampire the perv. xD

  • RichardPersson

    December 26, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    Loved it, looking forward to next Monday, Motherfucker.

  • shadowgam3

    December 26, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Try too do more jokes abt the scene’s in the movie.. Try too make more funnier jokes.. I can’t wait too see what U do next monday..

  • MarekZ

    December 26, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    Grate summary, “i love it!” :D

  • MarcusAlexanderRickardHolmström

    December 26, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    That was epic! Another one please!

  • MrGAWG

    December 26, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    That’s clearly not Robocop on the cover… lol…

    • deathbyafrog

      December 26, 2011 at 5:59 pm

      @MrGAWG it finally happen robocop stop fighting 4 the law (Insert judge dred joke here) and started catching vampire

  • Erwinator

    December 26, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    Oh yes , the director Paul Verhoeven(Robocop of course) is making a new movie called ‘The Stille Kracht’ that means ‘The Silent Power’ or something like that. . It will be in cinemas in 2013 and it is a drama movie.

    The last movie that he made is Zwart Boek aka Black Book , a war drama movie . it’s great , give it a watch ;)

  • Elyjaah

    December 26, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Wow, this is some weird shit… I can’t get the mental images of those vampires hopping around like idiots out of my head.

  • FloydDude

    December 26, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    I actually own this movie on the original VHS watched like 6 years age with some friends then when the movie store sold all its VHS movies totally picked it up. Classic!

  • TomM

    December 26, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    It’s cool that Mike gets the spotlight every Monday from now on. This is pretty cool.

  • Super3dcow

    December 26, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    Video doesn’t load for me. The space above it just blank. Wonder if it has to do with my host file. : /

    • MotherFucker Mike

      December 26, 2011 at 6:57 pm

      @Super3dcow If you’re having trouble getting it to play, use the link below to watch it on Blip.

      • Super3dcow

        December 26, 2011 at 9:56 pm

        @MotherFucker Mike Yay, thank you! Didn’t see that before.

  • RodneyHope

    December 26, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    These Chinese hopping vampires are actually more like zombies (although they are frequently translated as vampires). Chinese Vampire/Zombies are called jiangshi, and tend to hop around due to rigor mortis. Their skin turns blue, they have sharp claws that can infect you, they can be controlled with a paper seal on their forehead and by ringing a bell, an ink made with chickens blood can be explosive on them, and they can be sliced up easily with a peach wood sword (peach is magic in China).

    Don’t worry, here in China they think it is pretty stupid too… :)

    • Erdie

      December 26, 2011 at 7:55 pm

      @RodneyHope

      Cool bit of trivia there, thank you!

  • JeremiahAkers

    December 26, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    patience grasshoppa

  • Greycat_R

    December 26, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Wasn’t this by any chance directed or produced by Joseph Lai????

  • DonSkiver

    December 26, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    This was fucking awful. Not “so bad, it’s good” but rather “so bad, it’s FUCKING TERRIBLE”.

    I used to make films when I was in 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th grade with my best friend and a camcorder. They turned out a million times better than this piece of garbage. They at least made coherent sense.

  • JairBetancourt

    December 26, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    WTF! Awsome review @MotherFucker Mike and… awful movie as well!

  • DonSkiver

    December 26, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    Oh, and Motherfuckin’ Monday is a fucking awesome idea. I hope this sticks around for a while. As much as I liked Turtle Tuesday, it eventually got a little tired towards the end. This, on the other hand, can go on forever it seems.

  • Константин Аргиров

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    HELL YEAH

  • Mistress Ishbo

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Awesome!

  • Vlad Sidey

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    beast

  • John-Vidar Antonsen

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Haha, rip-off robocop

  • Michael Joseph

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    We want more movie reviews to please!

  • Jeremiah Akers

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    big fan of ya motherfuckers

  • Joseph Burdette

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    i’ve been a fan of mike since he played bugs

  • Dennis Viklund

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    keep em coming Mike :)

  • Miguel Vallés Susín

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Waitin’ for da movie, James!! Huge fan, donated via IndieGoGo.

  • David Huscher

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    heck yess! =]

  • Marcus Alexander Rickard Holmström

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    That was awesome, considering buying that movie! :P

  • Gergely Sőregi

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Niiiiiceeee one :D

  • Rose Martin

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    There are a lot of videos I can’t watch on cinemassacre. It just tells me it’s unable to load plugin. Kind of annoying, so glad you provided an alternate website.

  • Garner Quillon

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Mike and Kyle should be in more Nerd episodes.

  • Nicklos Frank

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Dude…blip fucking sucks. The vids are always choppy…change format? Always excited to check out the latest and greatest, but arrrrrrrrgh…

  • Shawn Wolfe

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Robo Vampire is a classic.

  • James Woodard

    December 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    awesome, but why is the video so choppy?

  • JeramieKruger

    December 26, 2011 at 7:16 pm

    Wooo. A new era in cinemassacre has begun!

  • durkoo990

    December 26, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    hell yeahhh!

  • December 26, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    Dude, amazing, ghost pussy haha, that says all !!! TOTALLY RANDOM MOVIE !!!, I love the idea of MOTHERFUCKER MONDAYS !!! CANNOT WAIT TO THE NEXT ONE !!

  • tonytails

    December 26, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    mike, youre cool, but that is NOT the real my little pony (the steven spielberg cutaway thing) that looked like first generation. the real good shit is G4 MLP. yes, im a 16 y/o male, and i watch the show, along with millions of other sane males. you want to watch GOOD stuff for a change, instead of being forced to watch shity movies for our entertainment, find some time in your day and watch the new show, my little pony: friendship is magic. youll be pleasantly surprised!

    • December 26, 2011 at 8:23 pm

      @tonytails Shut the fuck up

      • gamez

        December 26, 2011 at 8:45 pm

        Another guy who wantsto start shit you asshole @jhgvbn mkjhug @tonytails

  • Michael Fowler

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I own this movie. Everyone should own this movie. Go buy this movie!

  • Nicklos Frank

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Otherwise, funny stuff!

  • Ricardo Banuelos

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    lol

  • CarmenMonoxide Hall

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I give up. That was just a cheap, stupid: no, “stoopid” movie. I loved it!

  • Gustavo Torloni

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Jesus Christ, Mike…. WTF ?????

  • Stephanie Anderson

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    hope we see more of these reviews.

  • Jordan Melton

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I’ve never come across anyone else who’s even heard of this movie. NICE.

  • Batty Koda

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    James is sooooo cute <3

  • Jonny Lintinen

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    gay people!

  • Kyerin Johnson

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Thanks to this movie review I will never ever watch robo vampire

  • Troy Heesch

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Thanks to this movie review I will most definitely watch robo vampire

  • Miriam Nilsson

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I wish my hair was as thick as Mikes’, dang!
    The movie seems totally awesome.

  • Brian Record

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    is this the turkish robocop??

  • Aaron Clements

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I just looked this movie up on IMDB. It says that their budget was $2.5 million………….no comment.

  • Matthew D. Jordan

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Good Start to the new review serious. Interestly bad movie.

  • Travis Gillette

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    lmao

  • Cameron Watson

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    That was hilarious, cannot wait for another one!

  • John Joseph Bourne Davis

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I seen this movie a long time ago, I picked the VHS copy up at a thrift store because my 6 year old nephew begged me to pick it up, what a shitty movie!, but funny as hell!, if I remember correctly!, was the ghost lady at the end partially naked, I mean you could see her breasts threw her white see strew shirt lol, at that point I told my nephew to GO TO BED! Lol, I still to this day consider that movie to be the worst 99 cents I’ve ever wasted lol………it is a bad movie, but you gotta check it out, of you want a good laugh

  • Gerard Donaghy

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Yeah, I could stand to see more of that, I love reviews of garbage movies. I even bought some of the bundled public domain stuff after an early Mike and James’ movie collections vid.

  • Casey Smith

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I can’t wait for “Motherfucker Mike” to actually get with AVGN’s mom and earn that name!

  • Thom Downing

    December 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    that was awesome, looking forward to MOOOOOOAR

  • ThomasSlimm

    December 26, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    This movie looks like great fun. Might have to check it out.

  • AndreiStoica

    December 26, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    Awesome review MotherFucker Mike ! We expect to see another cool stuff soon :D

  • ZhekaiPu

    December 26, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    These are Chinese “Hopping” vampires or zombies. I think zombies make more sense, because I think vampires can turn into bats.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Shi

  • ROCKYKILLU

    December 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Just when I think Jame Rolfe has introduced me to the worst movie ever, Mike shows me RoboVampire.

  • LierFox

    December 26, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    HAHAHA, this movie is awsome XDDD

  • TasosSaroglou

    December 26, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    WOW imean WOW guys seriously you got the biggest collection of crappy films,i cant wait to see the collectors edition and the blue ray edition as well! then we will sertainly see scenes that in older vhs or even dvd’s didn’t caught the eye.

  • Merciless Ming

    December 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    LOL! Theres ponies in this!! :D

  • Jason Serrano

    December 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    Fucking hilarious love it

  • Loryn Stone

    December 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    Your app is busted, my friend.

  • ReiKo

    December 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Great! Thanks for making us having easier time while waiting for The AVGN movie. Great work Mike but I would really like and I really think it would be great if you go more frenzy-berserk mode while making “Motherfucking Monday” series. For example – trash talk, bad language, it’s your style man and I’m sure we have cult following of that character =). Thanks!

  • RhyanChapman

    December 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    James the dragon in the foxchase playground is officially staying in the park if Mike sees this please inform james of this!!!!

  • BenPin

    December 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    Looked it up and yep….It’s Godfrey Ho.

  • DeepVoice Gad

    December 26, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    mother fuking monday ..ooo yeh

  • Brett Von Schlosser

    December 26, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    is this the first time you’ve ever seen a hopping vampire movie?

  • Thomas Kobylecky

    December 26, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Motherfucking Monday= Awesome idea. Mike Hosting= ehhh… I don’t like his narrative.

  • Thomas Kobylecky

    December 26, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Nothing against Mike, he is an awesome guy and an essential partner of cinemassacre, but some ppl just don’t have a voice that holds interest. A “radio voice” if you will. Just my op. *braces self for a troll-slamming*

  • federikotozzi

    December 26, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    The zombies hope around like that because in the Chinese mythology there are ghosts that move like that. Lol, do u remember Heisen-Ko (Lei-Lei) from the Darkstalkers series? :D

  • BenjaminRossi

    December 26, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Looking for to this

  • BenjaminRossi

    December 26, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Looking forward now to Motherfuckin Mondays.

  • KevanGant

    December 26, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    What the fuck did I just watch!

  • Damian Soto

    December 26, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Jajajajajajajajajajaja

  • Jonne Piirainen

    December 26, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    One fuck’d up movie. :D

  • Greg AddictedtoMovies

    December 26, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Awesome!

  • StanLander

    December 26, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    This is such a good idea, right when James said he was going to be busy with the AVGN movie I thought “Mike should do a bunch of cool stuff”

  • OuroborosChoked

    December 26, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    At 3:12 – IS THAT PIERRE KIRBY?!?

  • tomashresc

    December 26, 2011 at 10:35 pm

    lets hear some more enthusiasm in your commentary, for now its maybe sounds a bit dull, but just thought i throw it out there,

    • stauken

      December 26, 2011 at 11:35 pm

      @tomashresc I’d agree with you that he needs to have more enthusiasm but I’m not the one who just got through reviewing Robo Vampires, so may be it’s not in my place to judge what he sounds like. :) That looked PRETTY awful.

    • Devil_Rising

      December 27, 2011 at 12:24 am

      @tomashresc Instead, let’s have YOU or one of the other wannabe critics in here do some review videos instead, what do you say? After all, apparently so many of you know so much about what it takes to make a great, entertaining video, which is why you all obvious have your OWN popular websites, right? ;-)

    • nate64

      December 27, 2011 at 1:11 am

      @tomashresc huh?? c’mon man. Mike’s MIke he’s great at what he does. what are you some kinda talent coach? Sounds a bit dull….how daaaaaare u lol

  • MProgrammer

    December 26, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    I motherfucking love motherfuckin’ mike! More!

  • Ole-Morten Torpengen

    December 26, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    MotherFuckin’ Monday… Love it

  • Michael Suitt

    December 26, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    Why was Mr. Kotter attacking Tin Foil Man?

  • Stephan Cooltyp

    December 26, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    wow, I used to have this movie. believe it or not, this shit was actually translated and dubbed into other languages. and no, it still made no sense.

  • Thomas Kobylecky

    December 26, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    The “hopping zombies” are actually a popular legend in asia. They are called “Jiang Shis” ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Shi ) And James probably knows them from the NES game Phantom Fighter. I actually liked that game, but it had quite a shitty factor. He should review it. If you guys want to see a GOOD Jiang Shi Asian movie, Check out the Mr. Vampire series or “Encounters of The Spooky Kind” Both are from the 80′s, they are an AWESOME marriage of Kung-Fu and Horror!

  • Nathan Whelan

    December 26, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    I think VICE: Project Doom also has Jiang Shis in it.

  • Doogrisa

    December 26, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    With James moving and all, dos that mean Cinemassacre is going to be down for a little while?

    • MotherFucker Mike

      December 27, 2011 at 12:08 am

      @Doogrisa no

    • Devil_Rising

      December 27, 2011 at 12:21 am

      @Doogrisa What do you think? Haven’t been paying attention, eh?

  • gvb118

    December 26, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    Mike, I loved the “second coming of Christ” line. I’m gonna use that from now on.

  • doul8r

    December 26, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    SOPA will kill this series. Hope you lemmings are happy.

  • BossManJohn

    December 27, 2011 at 12:07 am

    Mike, this is a good idea, and not a bad first video. I do think, as some others have said, you need to be a little more loud at certain points. Just look at one of you glitch videos and check out how your inflections change when you talk about some crazy shit that just happened. Some people might compare this to what the Cinema Snob does, but you can talk about the same shitty movies without ripping off his style. Besides, aren’t there like a million of these turkish fuckfests to review anyway? Anyway, hope to see more, and good luck with the movie!

  • Devil_Rising

    December 27, 2011 at 12:23 am

    Great review Mike. I’m glad you’re keeping the site going while James is so busy. Out of curiosity, and hope, you’re going to at least have a cameo in the AVGN movie, correct? I mean, you’re so well known by the fans now, and have been in several of the videos. It would feel like something was missing without at least a tiny bit of Motherfucker Mike. Here’s hoping! Happy Holidays!

  • gamers_love_sprite

    December 27, 2011 at 12:38 am

    Maybe the scientists made another Robo Vampire? I think they remember how to do it, and the first one did an okay job. Unless he was hallucinating the ghosts? Damn TV Tropes.

  • fightgenie

    December 27, 2011 at 1:06 am

    Mike, I love you! I’m a huge fan and you are a fucking perfect golden diamond. No need to act like an overenthusiastic geek or take any criticism from these no-talent wannabes.

  • nate64

    December 27, 2011 at 1:07 am

    Super gorrilla flys at Robocop, but he jumps and floats in the air to counter the attack. LOLZ holy fuck this was great so many wtf moments. It’s fuckin awful…I love it. words outa my mouth bro, words outa my mouth. rock on!

  • Fredrik Persson

    December 27, 2011 at 1:08 am

    more please

  • AndrewKnowles

    December 27, 2011 at 1:08 am

    Hell yea. Mothrfucker Mike is exactly what Cinemassacre needs more of. Keep up the good work.

  • CollinWahlund

    December 27, 2011 at 1:29 am

    My brothers’ friends and I had a weekly tradition where we’d go to the video store and try to find the worst movie possible. We hit some amazing shit bombs that way. Of course, we also found Meet the Feebles that way too…

  • Mcombat

    December 27, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Woh! I take offense to the idea of mlp the movie being something bad.

  • endril

    December 27, 2011 at 2:41 am

    The “hopping vampires” are actually undead creatures from Chinese mythology that are not very much like vampires at all.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiangshi

  • CareyPalmer

    December 27, 2011 at 2:45 am

    Get some of that Poltergeist Pussy…Can’t wait to hear what Mike says next MotherFuckin’ Monday

  • ashxu

    December 27, 2011 at 3:02 am

    I wouldn’t mind this and mike’s glitch videos instead of james for awhile.

  • Bony Boneyard

    December 27, 2011 at 3:06 am

    the chinese vampires are supposed to hop around, other than that, great review, though i really hope there will be some good bad movies reviewed and not just bad bad movies. motherfucker mike needs to check out the mr vampire series.

  • OfficialJab

    December 27, 2011 at 3:14 am

    That was really good. After James is back full-time, you should make your own site similar to this. I think you’d do very well.

  • Johnnien

    December 27, 2011 at 3:41 am

    Well, Robo Vampire is kinda a modern day version of Frankenstein vs Dracula.

  • ValisHD

    December 27, 2011 at 3:44 am

    A dvd? Yet the good movies dont have dvds…strange

  • KaijuZ

    December 27, 2011 at 4:29 am

    Actually the vmapire in the movie is a Jiang Shi. The Jiang Shi are a type of asian vampire like creature, which moves around by leaping distances.

  • DevGal89

    December 27, 2011 at 4:38 am

    Hey, Mike, Are all of Motherfucker Mondays going to be so-bad-its-awesome shitty movies? Please say yes. And please do Super Badass.

  • CarlCollier

    December 27, 2011 at 4:46 am

    Actually, those “Hopping” vamps are Pinopi, which is a chinese (I think) vampire that hops.

  • gabriot

    December 27, 2011 at 4:51 am

    I’ve seen those vampires in flying warriors for the nes

  • omghiyoutube

    December 27, 2011 at 4:59 am

    I want MLP the movie

  • Philip Fuéntes Karlsson

    December 27, 2011 at 5:46 am

    Keep it up Mike, for the first time in my 24 year old life, I can look forward to mondays!

  • Aleš Čeh

    December 27, 2011 at 5:46 am

    Very good vid’!

  • Kocsonya Laci

    December 27, 2011 at 5:46 am

    “you should bath more often”
    that’s a great pick-up line lol

  • pascal99388

    December 27, 2011 at 6:09 am

    mike looks alittle nervous in the beginning, but he is so cool :D

  • PufferBluntman

    December 27, 2011 at 6:50 am

    Hopping vampires are from “Gods must be crazy 3″!!!!!!

  • Daniel Spaniol

    December 27, 2011 at 7:08 am

    I alrdy bought this movie some years ago… a great trash pearl^^

  • Snejku

    December 27, 2011 at 7:28 am

    That’s strange…. no Oscar nomination for this one? Hm… makes you wonder.

    • FrankCabanski

      December 28, 2011 at 3:28 am

      @Snejku The Oscars are all politics. This proves it.

  • David Mabbley

    December 27, 2011 at 7:46 am

    You should track down “I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle”! Brilliantly funny and gorey, it stars C=3PO himself Anthony Daniels and the man behind the voice of Bob the Builder, Neil Morrisey! Mad stuff!

  • Lachlan Snell

    December 27, 2011 at 7:46 am

    I watched this video.

  • jktomas

    December 27, 2011 at 8:37 am

    Motherfuckin’ Monday? I approve, But I find it weird that Mike never did movie reviews before, Anyway, I love these obscure garbage movies too, so it’s going to be fun.

  • BadoorSNK

    December 27, 2011 at 8:37 am

    YOU KNOW WHATS BULLLLLLLLSSSHHHIIIIIIIIITTT? That cover is.

  • Rantsu

    December 27, 2011 at 8:39 am

    MFM is very talented just like AVGN

  • seizurebleak

    December 27, 2011 at 9:15 am

    I fucking love Motherfucker Mike. The fact that even HE refers to himself as that is hilarious. I’ve always enjoyed seeing him pop up from time to time and I’m happy how much screen he’s been getting lately on Cinemassacre! Keep up the good work!

  • sterling.treadwell

    December 27, 2011 at 9:52 am

    That was pretty kool. It’s funny to think Mike and James have been friends for so long they have a lot of the same style for jokes and narration. It is sort of like watching a James video, except it isn’t James. :)

    Only thing I’d love to see for the series would be Mike making his own Title card(s) for the intro sequence since we all know he’s a great artist and all. :)

    Also, if possible as you go through these, it’d be kool to give a little background on the flicks. LIke saying what year it was made, what other films the studio did, any actors that are recogniseable in a lot of other similar movies.. etc etc. :) Doesn’t have to be a lot, but would be kool to help cross reference it with other flicks and show the movies relevance to the history of cinema. In some of the “commentary” films Mike and James did we got a super helping of both humor and oodles of history/trivia. I wouldn’t expect THAT much, bbut a little, if all else to help rag on a shitty film.

    Keep it up holmes. You Motherfucking Rock!

  • AnKun

    December 27, 2011 at 10:28 am

    I don’t know why a busy person would waste time to even acknowledge this movie existence (as all other shitty movies James reviewed)

  • SleazyPxFCx

    December 27, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Was the zombie boss in Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia based on this movie? He hops around exactly like that

    • TasosSaroglou

      December 27, 2011 at 7:03 pm

      The japanese have shown that kind of ghosts in many things like dark stalkers game xien ko she’s a ghost girl! @SleazyPxFCx

  • JustinDeCarlo

    December 27, 2011 at 11:32 am

    wait so the guys from movie 2 blow up robo-cop? It looks like they took half of a shitty European movie and half a shitty Japanese movie and edited it to make a kinda rip off of an american movie the nuts these guys had to except to turn a profit from this is impressive. I’d this a godfrey ho movie but I don’t want to insult him.

  • FernandoGS

    December 27, 2011 at 11:42 am

    Visible wires are a tradition of flying Robocops :D

    Just watch the ending of Robocop 3 (the tower scape-just-in-time scene)

    Now THAT is a really visible cable!!!

  • scarmullet

    December 27, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    Haha, Godfrey Ho. Gotta love it.

  • J5

    December 27, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    Happy Holidays & love the videos as always keep up the great job!!!!!!!!!!!lol((-;

  • cunningstar101

    December 27, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    The hopping Japanese vampire thing was also seen in the NES game Vice: Project Doom. There were some enemies in the game that did exactly that. But yeah, this movie does look like crap, but that’s what makes them so funny to see.

  • Drags

    December 27, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    The hopping “vampires” originate from the Chinese mythology and they’re called Jiang Shi. They’re often newly resurrected corpses that can only be awake during the evening, which is likely where the vampire name stems from. They also kill people to steal their life essence, or qi. The literal translation of Jiang Shi is Stiff Corpse.

  • metalhusky

    December 27, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    “the robocop is slower then the second coming of christ!” XDDDD

    oh, motherfuckin monday, kicks fuckin ass!

    i want more!

  • JeramieKruger

    December 27, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    Hmm… Motherfuckin Monday needs a catchy song / intro.

    • Nintendoman4581

      December 27, 2011 at 9:48 pm

      @JeramieKruger

      Right at the top are lyrics i just madelike it if you like it….

  • RistoUusimaa

    December 27, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    I know about the hopping vampires because I played Castlevania Order of Ecclesia.

  • NathanSkinner

    December 27, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    they had those hopping vampires in the original super mario land for the gameboy as well

    • RistoUusimaa

      December 27, 2011 at 8:06 pm

      @NathanSkinner Oh, right. I remember now! You had to jump on them twice!

    • TasosSaroglou

      December 27, 2011 at 9:31 pm

      You also remember! @NathanSkinner

  • GuitarsRgood

    December 27, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    i’m really looking forward to seeing more of these. i love it when you guys review bad movies. it’s so funny!!

  • theretrogamer14

    December 27, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    and i thought i had bad movies!

  • mca24

    December 27, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Sorry for being a little off-topic here, but wouldn’t it be the mother of all awesomeness to include Super Mecha Death Christ in the AVGN movie?!

    • Steveee

      December 27, 2011 at 11:19 pm

      @mca24 I don’t think that’d be very professional on James’ part. :P

  • lyrical2k

    December 27, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    That was bad Muther F*n MIke, I’m looking forward for every Monday.

  • tk31elpis

    December 27, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    I’m pretty sure that is Chinese Zombie.

  • December 27, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    New Show! Good stuff! I love these “shittiest movies ever” reviews.

  • Nintendoman4581

    December 27, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    MOTHERFUCKIN MONDAY THEME SONG (short and sweet)

    Hes gonna take you back to a time

    when movies sucked shit from the behind

    of a foreign land that doesnt understand

    how to make a movie with a timeline

    The quality sucks, pictures stole from title name

    the audio doesn’t match up with each frame

    the lines are cheesy and the plot is really gay

    its just another,

    MOTHERFUCKIN,

    monday!

    • CollinWahlund

      December 27, 2011 at 10:33 pm

      @Nintendoman4581 That last line makes me want to find a way to make it go to Manic Monday by the Bangles… :)

    • TerryFGM

      December 28, 2011 at 8:26 pm

      @Nintendoman4581 no… just no…

  • AVGNFanDaMan

    December 27, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    new stuff awesome

    motherfucker mike ftw

    hope to see more of these and hope it carries.. good stuff

  • Steveee

    December 27, 2011 at 11:10 pm

    Mike is fucking awesome and I’d definitely love to see more of this series, but he needs more enthusiasm. Seems pretty bland/monotone, which is surprising because he does a fine job in other videos.

  • N8_Teh_GR8

    December 27, 2011 at 11:14 pm

    This explains the hopping vampires: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Shi

    • 7SoulDesign

      December 27, 2011 at 11:40 pm

      @N8_Teh_GR8

      Oh so that explains everything. Ragnarok online also has undead hopping monsters, and I never knew why >_<

    • EXPLODA!

      December 28, 2011 at 1:11 am

      Apparently Chiaotzu from Dragonball is supposed to be like them. @N8_Teh_GR8

    • stauken

      December 28, 2011 at 7:44 am

      @N8_Teh_GR8 And it all comes full circle..we can take this one back to Phantom Fighter for the NES (my first experience w/ hopping vampires, and why I didn’t think they were weird :)

    • celeritas

      December 29, 2011 at 3:22 am

      @N8_Teh_GR8 Hsien-Ko from Darkstalkers is a Jiang-Shi.

    • celeritas

      December 29, 2011 at 3:25 am

      @N8_Teh_GR8 Hsien-Ko from Dalkstalkers is a Jiang-Shi. http://darkstalkers.wikia.com/wiki/Hsien-Ko

  • thatfaithbreaker

    December 27, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    Hopping Vampires? Like The Count in that Sesame Street Game?

  • GabrielLangevin

    December 28, 2011 at 1:37 am

    I’m starting to love Mike more than James. He seem to be like James was bad at the start, no over the top special effect and he post video twice as much as James. Not that I don’t like AVGN, just that I don’t like the way the serie is going. Like the last bible game review that had force joke and pore content.

  • JimmyTheFish

    December 28, 2011 at 2:03 am

    I will definitely watch. The good thing about cinnemasacare over say thatguywithglasses is cinemassacare only has quality content, its not going to put up shit just to make ad money.

    • JeramieKruger

      December 28, 2011 at 6:44 pm

      @JimmyTheFish Amen. I used to love That Guy (never more than AVGN though)… But his sites stuff has just been going DOWN DOWN DOWN in quality over the last couple years. Kinda sad.

  • Pancakesquid

    December 28, 2011 at 3:14 am

    @AluCloud MotherFUCKIN’ monday.

    • AluCloud

      December 28, 2011 at 3:14 am

      @Pancakesquid yes it is now Wednesday…i know -_-

      • Pancakesquid

        December 28, 2011 at 3:15 am

        @AluCloud No, I was just fixing your emphasis on the motherFUCKIN’ monday.

      • AluCloud

        December 28, 2011 at 3:15 am

        @Pancakesquid well PISS!

      • Pancakesquid

        December 28, 2011 at 3:15 am

        @AluCloud JARATE.

      • Pancakesquid

        December 28, 2011 at 3:19 am

        @AluCloud Poltergiest Pussy?

      • AluCloud

        December 28, 2011 at 3:19 am

        @Pancakesquid LOL

      • Pancakesquid

        December 28, 2011 at 3:21 am

        @AluCloud Every couple of seconds I cut away to look at http://t.co/nJcaokJs

  • FrankCabanski

    December 28, 2011 at 3:25 am

    Motherfucker Mike is some kind of Superman to be able to sit through a movie like this.

  • inkrypted

    December 28, 2011 at 3:43 am

    This puts Mike in the same class as Joel, Mike,Servo and Crow.

  • Macronaso

    December 28, 2011 at 3:59 am

    Looking forwards to every monday now.

  • destruktive

    December 28, 2011 at 7:35 am

    Fuck. I always end up ordering horrible films when I see videos like this.

    THANK YOU MIKE. I REALLY NEEDED THAT MOVIE

  • Jayeff

    December 28, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Hmmm those monks remind me of the jumpy unkillable monks from super marioland! http://satoshimatrix.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/super-mario-land-jue-v1-1-_07.png <- those.

  • HotShotQc

    December 28, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    whats next? Hitman the Cobra?

  • Andrew Kiker

    December 28, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Great video Cinemarijuana!

  • Chris Gonzales

    December 28, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    I hope it gets released in 3D!

  • kaneda_bjf

    December 28, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    You could almost do a years worth of shows covering poorly made Robocop rip-offs. Although, this is the first one I’ve witnessed that directly rips off imagery from Robocop.

  • TerryFGM

    December 28, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    motherfucker mike is a fucking stupid name

    • BlackPurpDOE

      December 28, 2011 at 11:47 pm

      @TerryFGM TerryFMG is a fucking stupid name TerryFag Meister

      • AlphonseElric

        December 29, 2011 at 4:14 am

        @BlackPurpDOE@TerryFGM win

    • supmandude

      December 29, 2011 at 1:20 am

      @TerryFGM No, it’s the best name. Get out!

  • ericehc

    December 28, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    another thing to wait for in this website

  • macrojd

    December 28, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    I would like to have videos of the production of the film with MotherFucker Mike commentary rather than movie reviews. Take Mike with you to take shots of the production, that would be awesome!

  • macrojd

    December 28, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    I would like to have videos of the production of the film with MotherFucker Mike commentary rather than movie reviews. Take Mike with you to take shots of the production, that would be awesome!

  • GrimpBeats

    December 28, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    im so happy to see mike matei or whatever the fuck it is in more stuff. ive always thought he was really funny and i will follow what he does just as much as james. i mean come on “datas dick”……. classic.good job and keep em commin.

  • AndrewKlingerman

    December 29, 2011 at 12:35 am

    Gotta love the King Kong music in the background, you guys are awesome

  • supmandude

    December 29, 2011 at 12:47 am

    is cool.

  • supmandude

    December 29, 2011 at 12:48 am

    Motherfucker Mike is teh kool.

  • Tetsu Deinonychus

    December 29, 2011 at 1:14 am

    This isn’t a movie about Robocop.

    It’s about Robert-Cop!

    Also, I now want to see it desperately.

  • superbatspiderman

    December 29, 2011 at 8:53 am

    hope motherfuckin monday is permanent

  • JuddMcNeal

    December 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    I think I saw someone post this earlier, but the hopping vampires are actually from Chinese mythology. Though hopping gorilla vampires that shoot rockets out of their sleeves is a new one to me.

  • Yutao

    December 29, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    This wasn’t much of a review. He basicly just told us what happened in the movie.

    • MattArms

      December 29, 2011 at 7:24 pm

      @Yutao Telling people what happened in the movie IS a review…let me just give you the definition of “Review”.

      Review – a general survey of something,

      especially in words; a report or account of something.

      • Yutao

        December 29, 2011 at 8:20 pm

        @MattArms@Yutao a review is an analysis of (in this case) a movie. Not a retelling.

      • AnthonyWilson

        December 29, 2011 at 10:11 pm

        @Yutao@MattArms MattArms, you’re sort of right, but generally “movie review” is understood to mean a critique of the movie. I would agree with Yutao that MIke did just recap the movie, but I think in this context, where it’s some obscure cheap foreign movie called “Robo Vampire” and it has a picture of a RoboCop on the front of it, it’s totally appropriate because I’m more interested in what exactly it is than the quality of it, because I can assume it’s bad.

    • TehShoez

      December 30, 2011 at 10:52 am

      @Yutao Along with his own opinions and thoughts on certain aspecs, which is…..ohh yea a review.

    • MurrayBlass

      December 31, 2011 at 12:08 pm

      Yo–Yutao, Mike did more than just recap the movie. After he described each situation, he made fun of how bad it was. Yes, Mike told us what happened, then he goes on to analyze why it’s bad.Here’s just one example – At timecode 2:49 Mike describes a scene where a priest is being held at gunpoint, and then a woman comes to rescue him. Up to this point, that’s only Mike saying what happened. But then Mike goes on to tell you that there was an obvious stunt double who looks nothing like the blonde woman. With a different dress and wig. Showing us how little care went into the production, and how awful the movie is. That is his analysis of the scene. Mike does this all throughout the entire video. @Yutao

  • super7471

    December 29, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    BITCH DID NOT JUST INSULT MY LITTLE PONY!!!

    • Border Hopper Jay

      December 30, 2011 at 12:48 am

      @super7471 How exactly did he “insult” My Little Pony? He was stating how absurd it’d be to switch from one movie to a completely unrelated one. Even if he did say that My Little Pony the movie sucks, then he’d be right. The original series sucks donkey dick.

      • DanielHurst

        December 30, 2011 at 7:22 am

        @Border Hopper Jay@super7471 lol Border im pretty sure that super7471 was joking lol

    • Segonyosoftendo

      December 30, 2011 at 10:31 am

      @super7471 calm down, it was only G1. if it was G4 THEN we would have a problem.

      • Nuketehbomb

        December 30, 2011 at 11:49 pm

        @Segonyosoftendo@super7471 My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is way too overrated. And it sucks monkey ass too.

      • BrianSciro

        December 31, 2011 at 3:12 pm

        @Nuketehbomb@Segonyosoftendo@super7471

      • BrianSciro

        December 31, 2011 at 3:13 pm

        Big talk from a guy behind a computer screen. Big words don’t mean you can use ‘em to insult good stuff, genius. @Nuketehbomb @Segonyosoftendo @super7471

      • Nuketehbomb

        December 31, 2011 at 3:14 pm

        @BrianSciro@Segonyosoftendo@super7471 Good stuff? Lulz. You sure are funny kid.

      • Nuketehbomb

        December 31, 2011 at 3:17 pm

        @BrianSciro@Segonyosoftendo@super7471 I wouldn’t be surprised if you created an account for the sole purpose of insulting me. Oh, and ponies icon, sissy. =)

      • super7471

        December 31, 2011 at 6:36 pm

        @Nuketehbomb@BrianSciro@Segonyosoftendo@super7471 cant we just love everypony and be happy?

  • Mechamortal

    December 29, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    Wow… The dude didn’t just vanish away gradually, he just fuckin’ cut in the middle of a roll hahaha. Secondly, why would a ghost ask not to be killed?

    When the robocop guy was descending while he was on fire, it reminded me of the T-1000 slowly descending into magma.

  • JoseAVelez

    December 29, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    Im sorry but this time Mike screw it all big time. The vampires are NOT hopping like idiots, theyre are Jiang Shi and yes they move around by hopping.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Shi

    • OscarBlanco

      December 30, 2011 at 12:49 am

      @JoseAVelez Which actually doesn’t change the thing. They hop like idiots. It’s just a joke man!

  • thetully

    December 29, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    well i know 2 never 2 waste time on watching robo vampire thanks mike, do more stuff,

  • FernandoBecerraShee

    December 29, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    hey mike, good job I’ll keep cheking your videos from glitches and now this reviews xD you are doing it right!

  • Errdog

    December 29, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Thank you mike for something new to distract me. God I need a drink.

  • AnthonyWilson

    December 29, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    “….slower than the second coming of Christ!” Hahaha! This was pretty good! Yeah, do more.

  • likalaruku

    December 30, 2011 at 12:56 am

    This is the kind of movie my best friend used to lend to stoners.

  • FernandoCristino

    December 30, 2011 at 7:06 am

    Mike bro,first I come from Asia, those are typical chinese vampires… (they don’t walk, they just hop around and are kind like zombie, not like the western ones… will think, will talk… they are just like ghouls…) Great review, hope to see more of your reviews

  • SamYang

    December 30, 2011 at 9:37 am

    Those are Chinese vampires, and to be exact, they dont suck blood like the western ones. it can be originated to an old custom of the people in Shanxi(a province of china), where people consider burying themselves in hometown is really important(people in many places in china have this kinda custom). So they usually bring their dead body back to their home and there was even a job for doing this. the persons who take the job tie the arms of a few dead bodies on two bamboos, and 2 men, one in the front and one in the back, carry the bamboos on their shoulders. As they walk, those dead bodies move as they stagger, looking like hoping from far away. so there comes the believe that people hop when they become a Jiang Shi(the Chinese name of this kind of “vampire”)

  • jfoley17

    December 30, 2011 at 10:19 am

    was the guy who ambushed them Pierre Kirby?

  • MatumitSombunjaroen

    December 30, 2011 at 10:24 am

    The one at 5:00 is a Thai movie

  • December 30, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Hey, check out my new site. I’m a game reviewer and I do my reviews on NES,SEGA, AND SNES games. Check my site out Cinemaniac.webs.com

    • TehShoez

      December 30, 2011 at 10:47 am

      @uutbuster Must suck if you gotta spam your link on other peoples comment sections of their videos.

    • Knutte

      December 30, 2011 at 4:21 pm

      @uutbuster Are you allowed to use avgn videos by cinemassacre or james by the way? Have you been allowed or are one of the people who own them? Because if not you should probably take them down or ask permission! If not then you can go to hell, and take your sit with you….

  • December 30, 2011 at 11:19 am

    I’d call it Monday Movie Madness!!!

  • December 30, 2011 at 11:21 am

    RoboCop, monkeys, and vampires. You’d think that would make an awesome movie.

  • December 30, 2011 at 11:23 am

    I admit, I don’t know how you have time to watch all those movies. But at your age, I don’t know how you had tme to acquire all those movies. And I don’t know how you had enough money to buy all those movies. I guess James buys games and you buy movies. Me? I buy anything for a good price so I don’t have a big collection of anything. Lots of games, some movies, a bit of anime, some manga, some wrestling DVDs, etc. I just can’t collect one thing or even complete a collection of anything.

  • December 30, 2011 at 11:25 am

    The Priest still had his eyes in his head.

  • December 30, 2011 at 11:26 am

    In Soviet Russia, Mike likes awful movies. Wait. He likes awful movies in America too. I think OverAnalyzers needs to detemine why.

  • JohnSacino

    December 30, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    I never understood the Asian Idea of Vampires of them hoping. I thought that was only in Mr.Vampire

  • punchyouinthenuts

    December 30, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    This reminds me of “Challenge The Ninja,” where footage from a shitty Filipino movie is “intertwined” with “new” footage to create a single “movie.” It also has a misleading cover chock full of nothing contained in the movie, to include: a ninja with a metal ninja outfit and a super K-BAR knife, and a dirt bike with a flaming front wheel jumping a three car collision. Incredibly awful movie that ALSO has a surprise/sudden ending. The best part is that my legitimate VHS copy (I doubt it’s on any other format; this movie was made in 1986, when America’s thirst for ninja movies could only be fulfilled by pumping one out every single week) begins with a blue screen and the word “PLAY>” in the upper left hand corner, and obvious sign that it was copied from another VCR. I would almost recommend reviewing it.

  • LivioVolpe

    December 30, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    Dude,you gotta be fucking crazy to watch this kind of movie.

    By the end of this one,my brain would be melted. lol

    Love the work,very entertaining stuff,guys. Keep ‘em coming,if possible! =)

  • kane117

    December 30, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    I love it when you guys dissect these terrible B-movies. Kind of reminds me of MST3K, but not quite the same. Keep it up, Mike.

  • Obdemnium

    December 30, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    Wow! Firewall_Philips sure approves, and so do I

  • LicaWolf

    December 30, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    Lol. The robot disguise looks horrible. What makes it even worse is the fact that they put Robocop in the cover, so people would inmmediatly compare the two disguises. But well, I guess Robocop image sells better.

    The double with the wig: I’m going to guess that was the only wig that they could get. Totally cheap anyway :P

    Robocop in the sand: Maybe Robocop was supposed to be melting… like melting he’s metal body… still it’s ridiculous…

    GhostGirl/SuperVampireGorilla romance: … … what?

    About the hoping vampires: there’s actually an explanation for that, or so says wikipedia: “Jiang Shi, sometimes called “Chinese vampires” by Westerners, are reanimated corpses that hop around, killing living creatures to absorb life essence (qì) from their victims.” … so apparently vampires hop like that in asia *shrugs*

    “It’s fucking awful… I love it”

    Lol, I’m looking forward to more Motherfucking Mondays :)

  • Nuketehbomb

    December 30, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    Can’t wait for more Motherfucking Mondays. Mike is a such a talented guy.

    P.S. I can’t help but pause at the shots of James’ dvd and vhs collection at the beginning. I thought Cinema Snob was the only exploitation nerd.

  • December 31, 2011 at 12:29 am

    my friend: you want to watch robo vampire? me:does it got robo cop? MY FRIEND: i quess hes on the cover me: put that motherfucker in both: wtf is this

  • MadisonOrtizDominguez

    December 31, 2011 at 4:05 am

    I love it

    BUT PLEASE

    NEVER EVER ADD SOMETHING RELATED WITH PONIES AGAIN

    • Nuketehbomb

      December 31, 2011 at 8:10 am

      @MadisonOrtizDominguez Calm down. He wasn’t directly making fun of MLP. Even if he did, would make any difference? No, it wouldn’t. MLP is nothing more than overrated cow shit and needs to die a painful death. But that’s just my opinion, I don’t care really if people like the show.

    • Proceo

      December 31, 2011 at 9:59 pm

      @MadisonOrtizDominguez

      I would be in your shoes saying the same thing if it were the new cartoon. But since he used the stereotypical classic cartoon, it’s a great example.

      • Nuketehbomb

        January 1, 2012 at 2:32 pm

        @Proceo@MadisonOrtizDominguez You people would do anything to defend that show wouldn’t you? How childish.

      • TimothyCallil

        January 4, 2012 at 9:18 pm

        same show, different animation. they both suck.@Proceo @MadisonOrtizDominguez

      • Nuketehbomb

        January 5, 2012 at 10:02 am

        @TimothyCallil@Proceo@MadisonOrtizDominguez Agreed Xander, agreed.

  • BenjaminOstermeier

    December 31, 2011 at 8:24 am

    Motherfuckin’ Mondays! I like this idea! The first review was quite funny mainly because of how ridiculous the movie is. I love it! Can’t wait for more!

  • Haisman7

    December 31, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    Keep up the good work, Mike! =)

  • TheMitchery

    December 31, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    This is awesome. Fucking love it. Please keep this going.

  • zellnesking

    December 31, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    what is james so busy doin a movie?

    • BlackPurpDOE

      December 31, 2011 at 4:25 pm

      I think you just answered your own question @zellnesking

  • zellnesking

    December 31, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    love this idea

  • zellnesking

    December 31, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    this was mother fuckin funny

  • AsiaRead-aBooker

    December 31, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    what the fuck

  • Ryan Han

    December 31, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Actually, the vampires in the movie are called ‘Gangshi’. They are legendary ghouls from chiniese history. But whatever, I don’t think common sense would work in this film. Totally stupid.

    • StevenWells

      January 1, 2012 at 12:23 am

      @Ryan Han but Gangshi does mean vampire… so not really ghouls.. right?

      • gtf234

        January 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

        @StevenWells@Ryan Han Jiang-shi literally means “stiff corpse”, not vampire. The name is pretty explanatory to what they are- they’re corpses reanimated through one of many different methods. They include improper burial, spirit possession, sorcery, malice of the deceased’s soul remaining, the po of a person remaining after the hun leaves during death, etc. They move around by hopping with their arms stretched out because their limbs have already grown stiff and can no longer be bent- that is the best they do for mobility. Sorcerers are often shown as being able to control them through talismans nailed into their foreheads.

        The common name of Chinese Vampire really simply comes from their nocturnal nature (which isn’t exclusive to vampires) and their feeding on the qi of living creatures, which I guess people more easily associate with blood than life energy. But they are more closer related to zombies in both their existences and commonly portrayed behaviors.

        Holding them to traditional vampire lore is simply not the correct perspective, despite the common translation for the name using the word vampire. They aren’t really vampires in the commonly understood sense and don’t really behave anything like them.

      • sterling.treadwell

        January 8, 2012 at 11:49 am

        @EatenSoler That’s neither relevant nor very necessary. Take yer racism elsewhere.

  • StevenWells

    January 1, 2012 at 12:23 am

    So… they use chinese vampires and chinese vampire hunters..

    Yes chinese vampires dont walk, they hop.. RESEARCH PLEASE.. but nice to hear about silly movies.

  • sterling.treadwell

    January 1, 2012 at 1:02 am

    I am thoroughly amazed at how many people feel the need to correct, explain and criticize this review because of the whole “hopping vampires” joke…

    It is a movie review of a terrible movie. It should be a “given” most everything said by Mike should be taken as humor and NOT taken literally or seriously.. sheesh…

  • TannerKish

    January 1, 2012 at 1:40 am

    Hey…they made a DVD of this crap…must be worth SOMETHING, right?

  • SamYang

    January 1, 2012 at 6:33 am

    HK made a lot of movies of this kind, including Jiang Shi(Chinese Vampire) in them, most of them being about shits and giggles, but pretty funny if you dont watch with serious attitude.

  • January 1, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Happy New Year, James and Mike!!! May 2012 present the best Cinemassacre videos EVER!!!

  • pogopopex4

    January 1, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    Your nerdy, sarcastic humor is fucking awesome Mike, keep up the great work

  • JosephMac1

    January 1, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    Yeah, keep up the lolz. Real funny shit.

  • kidauthor7

    January 1, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    Oh GOD…. Generation 1 ponies.

    (hurls)

    (spits) Oh… and Mike… I like this new Motherfuckin’ Monday thing. Keep it u-

    (hurls again)

  • RhyanChapman

    January 1, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Damn Mikes Collection is HUUUGED i wish i had a collection like that i would never be bored again!

  • Stonen80

    January 2, 2012 at 1:05 am

    This was awesome! MOTHERFUCKIN’ MONDAY!

  • Anodos

    January 2, 2012 at 4:00 am

    The bathing girl is beautiful. Thats what i took from that movie

    • Kaleidoscopic God

      February 28, 2012 at 1:38 am

       @Anodos I disagree.

  • Younkla

    January 3, 2012 at 4:36 am

    Keep it up dillholes

  • VanyelHarkema

    January 3, 2012 at 5:08 am

    I spy an Alien Quadrilogy Box Set.

  • AnnaArghh

    January 3, 2012 at 6:24 am

    The vampires seem to be “Jiangshi” (Chinese hopping vampires). Anyway, I really wanna watch this movie now. It looks godawful. :V

  • CollinWahlund

    January 3, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    @googlejustsucks What a fuckstick some of you ingrates are.

  • Strazdas

    January 4, 2012 at 7:32 am

    I must be out of my right mind :D

    my imdb voting history is counting 1500s and i would love to have a library like this.

  • HughTague

    January 4, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Thanks a lot for keeping things rolling, Mike!

  • MishoGarcia

    January 4, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    The chinese vampires are also known as hopping vampires… They tend to hop :P

  • jeffgordon24

    January 5, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    I know a lot of people don’t seem to like Mike but personally I really enjoy his videos and think he’s a great addition to all the videos that James does, it gives the site some more variety. I’m also curious it appears from the beginning of this video that he isn’t but I’ll ask anyways. Is Mike moving to California as well?

    • Doogrisa

      January 18, 2012 at 5:12 am

      @jeffgordon24

      No, Mike is staying in Philly.

  • Viliam Kocur Vikernes

    January 6, 2012 at 2:29 am

    WHAT A BULLSHIT !!!!!

  • Douglas De Young

    January 6, 2012 at 2:29 am

    Mike, you rock!

  • Kristoffer Sandmo

    January 6, 2012 at 2:29 am

    Fun Trivia: The hopping vampires was also used in the movie “The Gods must be Crazy 3″. They were also used in Super Mario Land for the Game Boy. There they were called Pionpi, and when you jumped on them, they would always get back up.

  • January 7, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    Motherfucker, you must put this as part of the main shows, dont let this die, because that way i can see new pieces of holy trash to see and delight myself!

  • January 7, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    @googlejustsucks

    Sir, Internet is for everyone, if you dont like it dont see it

  • DionMesa

    January 7, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    Hmmm… lies and stealing/ripping off things. Before they even played the movie I thought “this must be Chinese.” …and sure enough it is. These vampires hop because that’s how Chinese vampires are in folklore. I seriously hope IMDB’s got false information on this movie when it claims that this movie had a budget of 2.5 million dollars.

  • Simon V

    January 8, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    Thanks Mike! Good Idea and very funny. I want more :)

    To be constructive I would suggest the rythme of your videos to be slower and get more breath in them. Creating more tensions and “moments”.

  • Simon V

    January 8, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    Thanks Mike! Good idea and very funny. I would like to watch tons of thoses.

    I just want to be constructive here but I would suggest the rythme of your videos to be slower to get more air in them creating more tensions and “moments” :)

  • NadiaFarhat

    January 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    “it’s fucking aweful… I love it” hahaha
    Lovin this new segment

  • Shadowfied

    January 12, 2012 at 9:11 am

    Great idea for videos. I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to more!

  • whatalanwatches

    January 15, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    @Obscurus_Lupa GODFREY HO! Thanks!

  • SecondHandStore

    January 15, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Mike Matei did a review too? But @Obscurus_Lupa already did one!

  • LexVader

    January 15, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    @Obscurus_Lupa You eeeeeeeeeshooooooooole!

  • AntytheseSays

    January 15, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    @Obscurus_Lupa Yours was good too :)

  • Raithnor

    January 15, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    @Obscurus_Lupa If it makes you feel better, I was like “Who’s Mike Matei?” XD

  • 86TheJehuty

    January 15, 2012 at 10:09 pm

    @Obscurus_Lupa already seen it, but I can’t wait to see your take on this movie. ^^ (haven’t seen your review yet).

  • JaysonGeronca

    January 16, 2012 at 2:35 am

    I hate the movie’s bad editing and abuse of the Robocop image, that’s not right.

    You know what, the Jiang Shi is the Chinese Jumping vampire. A good Jiang Shi movie is Mr. Vampire 1, go watch it!

    For a Mr. Vampire 1 – Movie Review, Visit…

    http://g-jays.blogspot.com/2012/01/mr-vampire-review.html

  • FightingPeanuts

    January 16, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    nice video

  • Acromax

    January 18, 2012 at 7:34 am

    @amora_b É comédia. xD E os vídeos do Angry Video Game Nerd me ensinaram muita coisas sobre games. heheh

    • amora_b

      January 18, 2012 at 2:22 pm

      @Acromax nossa, ele é ótimo! também aprendi muito com ele :B

      • Acromax

        January 18, 2012 at 8:53 pm

        @amora_b Recomendo ver os vídeos o “arqui-inimigo” dele, o Nostalgia Critic. xD

      • amora_b

        January 18, 2012 at 10:18 pm

        @Acromax obaaa legal! nunca vi! :3

      • Acromax

        January 19, 2012 at 5:38 am

        @amora_b Os dois ficam se degladiando, chegaram até a lançar um card game deles. XD Têm episódios legendados no http://t.co/iYJGpQE7

      • Acromax

        January 19, 2012 at 5:39 am

        @amora_b Só que o Critic, se foca em filmes antigos e, pessoalmente, acho que ele é mais engraçado. xD

  • JaysonGeronca

    January 26, 2012 at 6:56 am

    You know what, the Jiang Shi is the Chinese Jumping vampire. A good Jiang Shi movie is Mr. Vampire 1, go watch it!

    For Martial Arts movie reviews, go check G-Jays Productions

    http://g-jays.blogspot.com/2012/01/cradle-2-grave-review_9628.html

    http://g-jays.blogspot.com/2012/01/mr-vampire-review.html

  • MaximilianoVallejo

    February 7, 2012 at 12:46 am

    Whow man, this movie is so fucking obscure, how the hell do you get to know this stuff?!?!?

  • JaysonGeronca

    February 11, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    G-JAYS Game Zone ! – “Your online shopping center”

    Xbox Live Gold Membership (12 months), Wii, Xbox, PS3, PC, Kinect, and games for all consoles now available at G-Jays.

    “Top 10 Video Games of All Time” also available, Visit us at http://g-jays.blogspot.com/2012/02/g-jays-gameone.html

  • Piet

    February 22, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    Yo Mike! Could you do me a favor and do not mock the gorill-vampire anymore? I always wanted to have some poltergeist-pussy too! XD

    Thanks in advance and keep the good work up, bro :D

  • February 26, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    I have this coming in the mail as part of one of those 50 movie packs, or at least it includes a movie by the name of Robo Vampire.

  • Kaleidoscopic God

    February 28, 2012 at 1:38 am

    Funniest joke Mike has ever made: “…And RoboCop is slower than the second coming of Christ.”

  • March 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    is that the terminator?????

  • March 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    ive seen the new robocop

  • March 10, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    ive seen robocop and robovampire and robo vampire is fucking horrible also i saw it today and didnt see the rieview by mike so ignore the last comment i sent

  • robertjlong

    April 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    hey mike do a movie called. R.O.T.O.R. from 1988 its on vhs not dvd yet .its a Robotic Officer Tactical Operation Research. A prototype robot intended for crime combat escapes from the development lab and goes on a killing rampage. try that movie ok thank you mike

  • June 12, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    Always love seeing Chinese Hopping Corpses featured in a movie.

  • drdogface

    July 6, 2012 at 9:21 am

    those hopping things are traditional japanese/chinese ghosts so stop being racist

  • Iron65

    October 12, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    What have I watched…

  • flippythemaster

    December 9, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    There used to be an intro to this video where you guys talked about Motherfucker Mondays. What happened? I kinda miss seeing you guys standing in front of the collection

  • January 27, 2013 at 1:08 am

    Just in case you didn’t already know, the “vampires” in this movies are not the conventional American/Romanian type. Strictly speaking they are more like zombies from old Chinese myths.

    If you notice the costumes they wear, they come from the Qing Dynasty (1644-1912) when young men travel long distance to the capital Beijing to sit for a national examination in hopes to be chosen as government officials. Along the journey to Beijing, many of them perish due to malnutrition and poor travel conditions. So when these young men were found dead, the tradition was to dress them in uniforms of government officials and line them up (arms placed over shoulder of the cadever in front with their arms and legs tied to bamboo sticks, forming a row). At night when everyone are indoors, workers will drag these cadevers back to their home village.

    Legend of these zombies, known as Jiang Si, were common because of the horrible and scary sight of these ugly rotting cadevers, which explains why they hop around a lot and their hands stretched out since their arms and legs were tied to bamboo sticks.

    To call them vampires was a mistake as these Jiang Si do not consume blood or have any connections to bats. Of course as the years go by, many stories do expand on their abilities to include martial arts, flight and super strength. But essentially they are just mindless zombies.

  • Christian Ramírez

    December 25, 2013 at 3:59 am

    Well the reason why the vampires hop around is because they’re based on Jiang Shi which are Chinese Folklore vampires which cannot turn into bats either.

  • nammm3

    April 9, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    That stunt double was too legit when she went through that window… Or when he/she went through that window :-P

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