Mike / December 11th, 2010
Cinemassacre takes a look at the 1994 direct to video Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles holiday special “We Wish You A Turtles Christmas”.
December 11, 2010 at 1:01 am
great review man keep em comin’
December 11, 2010 at 1:08 am
lol, I would say that this is 10 times better than the Coming out of their shells tour but not by much.
December 11, 2010 at 1:14 am
I grew up during the height of the turtles’ popularity, hell I was Michelangelo one Halloween. But thankfully I never saw this load of crap as a kid. I feel like I deserve some kind of reimbursement after watching that.
December 11, 2010 at 1:15 am
This is hilarious, a turtles christmas special…wow. great review.
Awesome as always James. Am I ever glad I wasn’t aware of this when I was a kid, I probably would have rejected TMNT the rest of my life.
December 11, 2010 at 1:17 am
Ugh, God, terrible.
Did they not even bother to include April and the villains in it?
December 11, 2010 at 1:21 am
You mention their crotches go all over the place but you forgot to mention that one of the turtle’s DICKS ACTUALLY COME OUT OF THE COSTUME. It’s true, you can actually see a turtle schlong. Horrifying
December 11, 2010 at 1:33 am
When I look at the horrible turtle faces, they remind me that of Joan Rivers’.
This holiday special is awful.
December 11, 2010 at 1:45 am
I think this may have been around the same time as the Coming Out of Their Shells Tour.
I didn’t see it, but they had guys dressed up as the Turtles on stage for that concert tour.
Sponsored and supported by Pizza Hut I might add.
December 11, 2010 at 1:48 am
You have to check out the star wars christmas special. If you haven’t seen it at least watch the beginning where chewy’s wife and his son “lumpy” have about 8 solid minutes of wookie dialect. Sans subtitles of course.
December 11, 2010 at 1:53 am
Oh I should’ve watched the video before my comment. I’m so sorry you’ve seen both of those specials. Poor bastard!
December 11, 2010 at 2:01 am
Holy crap, I wasn’t aware such an atrocity existed that starred the turtles, this nor the music tour until you reviewed them (you and NC for the tour). Wonder if any kid actually liked this? Those costumes were definitely scary and the part where they keep moving their mouth even after they are done talking, lol.
December 11, 2010 at 2:18 am
Haha great video !
The “happy shut the fuck up!” at the end of it really was the icing on the cake
December 11, 2010 at 2:23 am
James, your chainsaw-camera looks like someone spooged all over it. LOL
December 11, 2010 at 2:25 am
And a happy shut the fuck up to you to! thanks for all the laughs!
December 11, 2010 at 2:30 am
I am farming with the Star Wars Xmas and this looks as bad.
Hmmm I might have this amongst my thousands of VHS tapes. I’ll have to look so that I can subject myself to this mess.
December 11, 2010 at 2:33 am
They stop talking, but their lips keep moving. It’s like a bad Godzilla dub!
December 11, 2010 at 3:02 am
You should have seen the way I recoiled when I started watching this and it started showing the actual footage. “Comin’ Out of Their Shells” gets an eyeroll at most from me, but this is bletcherous. I nearly stopped the video and ran away without looking back.
December 11, 2010 at 3:24 am
Oh, holy shit! I’ve never seen this before, and now I know why.
December 11, 2010 at 3:29 am
“get out all these damn kids out and throw this shit in the trash” PRICELESS!
December 11, 2010 at 3:32 am
Hahaha,” he looks more like bigfoots crotch! ” xD
December 11, 2010 at 3:37 am
A super niche video review.
James at his finest.
I haven’t thought about this in 20 years.
December 11, 2010 at 4:10 am
I was LMAO the whole time! That special of the Ninja Turtles looks horrible. Possibly worse than Ninja Turtles 3.
Very funny review James, love it.
December 11, 2010 at 5:03 am
rofl LOLOLOL what a piece of shit!!!!! great review james
December 11, 2010 at 6:18 am
I was going to leave a comment saying something like “It’s bad, It’s starwars holiday special bad”
However you didn’t fail to mention the starwars special at the end of the video
Great review, who can’t love terrible specials for their terrible charm.
December 11, 2010 at 6:41 am
Oh my dear god… this is terrible.. lol
December 11, 2010 at 6:49 am
I never seen this until today. I used to love the turltes when I was a child. But this kind of crap makes me embarassed I was ever a fan. I know your buddy nostalgia critic did the turtle concert. Man they took the turtles and did every single thing they could think of to make a quick buck off of it. Quality be damned!
December 11, 2010 at 6:50 am
oh my god?!
December 11, 2010 at 7:15 am
I had no clue this even existed until now. I owe you a punch in the arm for it. Merry shut the fuck up! Thats a wrap rap.
December 11, 2010 at 8:11 am
I wish everyone a “Turtles Christmas”.
December 11, 2010 at 8:19 am
I’m glad I was not familiar with this load of donkey sh*t. I was still 7 when this was released and probably would of cried if I had to see the turtles degrade themselves this far. I’m actually pissed off that this even exists and it seriously makes TMNT III look great.
December 11, 2010 at 8:32 am
I think I’d already turned against the Turtles by then because of Turtles 3.
December 11, 2010 at 8:35 am
Confession time! I actually owned both this and the Power Rangers Christmas Special when I was a kid. I remember watching the PR one, hating it, but watching this one all the time. Looking back on it, I have no clue why. I guess I was just a dumb kid.
I still don’t think it was as bad as the Star Wars special, though.
December 11, 2010 at 9:19 am
I remember this pile of crap,so bad….I agree after the 2nd movie the turtles went down hill.
December 11, 2010 at 10:02 am
Great review James…
And how could we not know about the Star Wars Special after Nostalgia Critic tortured himself with that last year
December 11, 2010 at 10:17 am
I’m going to make that Reggae song my ring tone.
December 11, 2010 at 10:21 am
Huge turtles fan growing up, but never saw this, thank goodness.
Was pretty damn painful to just finish watching this review, I don’t know how you did it James…
December 11, 2010 at 10:41 am
There was another one of these called Turtle Tunes.
December 11, 2010 at 11:03 am
HAPPY SHUT THE FUCK UP, JAMES, MIKE AND EVERYBODY!!
December 11, 2010 at 11:23 am
I’m glad that in 1994, I was heavily into WWF and WCW, and not TMNT. The X-Men cartoon took priority over them, too.
December 11, 2010 at 11:25 am
The costumes in this special make the ones in the “Coming Out of Our Shells Toar” look like the ones from the first 2 movies. Also, the Splinter costume looks like it’s been recycled from the toar.
If Michaelangelo sings opera, it’s a sign that the apocalypse is coming.
I’ve seen the Nostalgia Critic’s review on “The Star Wars Holiday Special,” but I call the TMNT special a hair more terrible.
December 11, 2010 at 11:52 am
My first comment on one of your videos but unfortunately i have to tell you that i just wasted 5min of my life.. this is the worst TMNT thing ever.. i would praise the NES game a lot after seeing this!
December 11, 2010 at 12:05 pm
This Makes The 3rd Movie look like a golden turd, Thank god i never knew this existed back then.
December 11, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I’m hungover and about to hurl….and this might have put me over the edge. Thanks you asshole.
December 11, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Cringeable! Imagine having to watch this twice a day for the rest of your life. HaHa! Piped tripe!
December 11, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Yeah….I STILL own this piece of crap. It’s terrible. Nice review like always James!
December 11, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Oh my God that was some truly epic badness. James you’re killin’ me .
December 11, 2010 at 12:40 pm
omg that sucks balls its a disgrace to humanity and ninja turtles everywhere
December 11, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Wow….and I thought “Coming Out of Our Shells” was bad….
December 11, 2010 at 12:56 pm
introducing chewbaccas family?!?
i couldnt close my mouth for half a minute!
December 11, 2010 at 1:00 pm
I always thought the four “theatrical” TMNT movies had more dignity than this.
Damn those smiling turtles. Makes me think that Jim Henson is spinning in his grave, while Kermit the Frog pukes all over Miss Piggy.
December 11, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Why is Splinter a Jew? haha
December 11, 2010 at 1:45 pm
that was a great review James,
you should do the Star Wars holiday special next, ill donate it if you don`t have it
December 11, 2010 at 1:48 pm
i’ve seen that star-wars special and i wish i didn’t. it was hell for a fan…
December 11, 2010 at 1:51 pm
I grew up following the Turtles religiously, I had almost every action figure and playset they ever made, all the VHS tapes, basically anything with the Turtles, but this?…………………………..I (thankfully) didnt know this existed, I have the Coming out of our shells on VHS but this is horrible! Horrendous! It was embarrassing to watch haha the very stereotypical voices, crappy lip synching, shitty songs, stupid dancing, little kids, and furball splinter……………………..I cant believe it haha
Thanks for dusting off this peice of dookie James, it was fun.
December 11, 2010 at 2:02 pm
I feel like throwing up after watching this.
December 11, 2010 at 2:04 pm
I actually remember that god awful piece of shit. I saw it on tv around 1995 or 1996. I actually cried because of how awful it was. It always seems like when something awesome as say the Ninja Turtles or Batman takes off it winds up getting this shitty cheese aspect thrown all over it with a very crappy production quality that it just can’t escape. Thanks for sharing, James. That was a really good review.
December 11, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Glad I haven’t seen that film.
BTW you are (in a way) “mentioned” in Google’s official Zeitgeist video in the end. When the word “angy” is entered. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0QXB5pw2qE
December 11, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Hahaha!! i Love your reviews James =D
December 11, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Splinter sounds like a stereotypical mad scientist. Where are the parents of these kids? Why is Leo so upbeat? I saw this once when I was young and forgot about it til now. Another good review.
December 11, 2010 at 2:49 pm
This is a great video! I have never heard of this Christmas Turtles special. I have seen the Star Wars holiday special, with Rifftrax !! And let me tell you it’s great if you haven’t seen it you can just go to google.com and type in Star Wars Holiday Special and the whole movie should come up with commercials,and everything from when it aired on tv back in the day, and that is what they Rifftrax, the commercials and everything, trust me when i say it’s worth the 4 bucks.
December 11, 2010 at 3:04 pm
This was painful… thanks for ruining my day James!
Just kidding, this was a great Christmas present.
December 11, 2010 at 3:19 pm
it’s seriously scarry and funny at the same time loll
December 11, 2010 at 3:20 pm
I saw this. It’s horrible. And are those the same crappy costumes from the coming out of our shells tour? Actually they look worse.
December 11, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Classic! I can’t put myself through the 3rd Turtle movie. I get too embarrassed.
December 11, 2010 at 3:47 pm
I didn’t know about this and I was still really into TMNT at that time. I find it ironic that they had a scene with Raph making fun of the Critters movie in the first TMNT film and in this movie they ended up looking like the Critters themselves in a way with that dumb smile.
December 11, 2010 at 4:27 pm
i tweeted this. i got the shivers from its beyond thoughtful attempt.
December 11, 2010 at 4:29 pm
happy shut the fuck up james =D
December 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm
No Link to the Star Wars Christmas special review from NC? ^^
It´s bad. (The Movie)
December 11, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Then I’m lucky!!!!
December 11, 2010 at 5:38 pm
No they aren’t on Par or even near parity. The Star Wars Special has higher quality costumes. Harvey Corman. And in the Cantina it had one great song from an actress that died too soon. The Turtles Christmas didn’t even have 1/4 that many redeeming qualities!
December 11, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Thanks for posting this, James! Until now… I never knew this even existed!
wow… straight to video? XD
Now I wanna find this horrendous gem! XD
December 11, 2010 at 6:04 pm
This isn’t just bad…it’s wrong. I mean it’s so bad they didn’t even try to bring it to France. But we sure had the crappy third movie.
December 11, 2010 at 7:43 pm
..I mean, it IS fake right? It has to be… wait,are you telling me that this thing exists? For real?
December 11, 2010 at 7:59 pm
I actually downloaded the star wars holiday special a while back…. sad day in my history
December 11, 2010 at 8:03 pm
OH CRAP! Not the Star Wars Christmas Special! Man! If James reviews that, let us all hope Santa Christ is nearby. He is the only person who can fix you after watching that! Just ask the Critic… oh wait…he won’t remember…
December 11, 2010 at 8:43 pm
Ok now I really want to see this! This looks almost as “good” as that episode of power rangers where the rangers meet the ninja turtles and then the turtles can’t believe the power rangers are real and the power rangers can’t believe the turtles are real!
December 11, 2010 at 8:52 pm
@BLund: I did the same thing… It was surreal and really, really weird :S
December 11, 2010 at 9:47 pm
Splinter sounded Yiddish I was waiting for him to perform Fiddler on the Roof
December 11, 2010 at 11:24 pm
Come on, James. Now that you mentioned it you gotta do a review of the Star Wars Special. I expect it to be a thousand times worse than the Ewoks movie.
If there’s one person on this planet with the nerves to do a review of that special, James, it is you.
December 12, 2010 at 12:11 am
wow if this is on par with the star wars holiday special, then it should never see the light of day. i mean come on, if what the critic said about that was true, then damn this is horrible
December 12, 2010 at 2:02 am
@Spawnfan – The first thing I thought when I heard him was, “He sounds Jewish.”
As for Star Wars, I’d rather him put the extra time into something else. It’s already been given a good thrashing elsewhere.
I love seeing this old stuff from the Turtles, though. It reminds me of the good times watching the old TMNT cartoon on Saturday morning and shooting my mom’s ankles with pizza discs.
December 12, 2010 at 2:56 am
I think the lip syncing was better on Star Fox 64!
December 12, 2010 at 3:00 am
God, why are the turtles act like black gangsters? Their impression is horrible. Good thing I have no recollection of either the Turtles Christmas Special or the Star Wars one.
December 12, 2010 at 3:12 am
“He looks like BigFoot’s crotch!”…
… a nod to Anchorman? probably not, but it reminded me of it.
December 12, 2010 at 4:16 am
thanks matt, great vid james
December 12, 2010 at 4:43 am
How much Matt pay you for the donation that you specially put his name on a video?
December 12, 2010 at 4:51 am
Dammit!!!!!!!!!! I’ve been trying to block this hideous thing from my brain since my high school days. I saw this thing playing on the screens at my local video store and that was enough to give me nightmares.
Thanks James. ;_;
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December 12, 2010 at 10:50 am
If I was forced to watch this ,I would cut my wrist.
December 12, 2010 at 11:58 am
Oh my god…it burns my eyes.If this was my introduction to the Ninja Turtles I never would have watched the show….
December 12, 2010 at 12:31 pm
HAHA YES! I remember that Bullshit episode!
Happy Shut the Fuck Up!
December 12, 2010 at 12:58 pm
I just lost so much respect. Dear god, I think we’d all rather watch TMNT III six times in a row then watch this once. *facepalm*
December 12, 2010 at 1:24 pm
The credits were silly. Hyman, Hyman, Hyman, Hyman
and Hyman, for his unending devotion to this project.
December 12, 2010 at 2:21 pm
I have to ask James, have you seen the new direct to TV movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Forever? It is believed that the old school ninja turtles from the past meet today’s new anime ninja turtles? Have you seen this yet ? Do you believe it is good?
SSgt Davies (USAF)
December 12, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Jesus Christ… that was… awful… I feel like my brain just exploded…
I mean the TMNT Christmas special, not the review.
December 12, 2010 at 2:46 pm
it clearly has no real connection (other than a 2-day max naming license granted probably out of pity) to the actual cartoon!!
the cartoon itself had shifted to it’s ‘darker’ period by then too, so this christmas special was way out of place by then
Still tho, I’m sure it earned them at least enough for a cab home after it’s first, and last, airing
December 12, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Wow, even as a child being so into the turtles, I still would’ve seen this video as the SHIT it really is. This is when you know they were trying to squeeze every single doller out of marketing the turtles.
December 12, 2010 at 6:44 pm
Bigfoot’s crotch made me laugh hard !!
December 12, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Turtles movies SUCK! BOOM to the lot of them http://www.vizzed.com/vizzedboard/notifications.php?ref=65348
December 12, 2010 at 7:55 pm
i just want 2 point out that the box said for ages 3 and up, so as soon as i saw that, i knew it wouldnt b good. the making of coming out of their shells was better then this, at least costume wise, the rest is about equal
December 12, 2010 at 8:11 pm
oh god……i would so rather watch the star wars special than this. from that very first lyric, ”deck the halls with pepporoni” i knew this would be garbage =/
December 12, 2010 at 8:26 pm
This hurts… so bad… unghhh.
December 12, 2010 at 8:43 pm
And i thought the third movie had some awful costumes… These take the cake!
December 12, 2010 at 9:14 pm
I rewound the part at 1:30 where leo’s teeth keep chattering away like 10 times! That was so funny!
Great job nerd! Please review the star wars christmas!
December 12, 2010 at 9:40 pm
what i don’t understand is how you go from good to crap, like did they not care.the costumes look like they came from a halloween store,what part of progress and improving detail dont they get.its unvorgivable..
December 12, 2010 at 10:26 pm
good thing nostalgia critic already covered the star wars special.
It would have scarred James for life from its’ critical crap levels.
December 12, 2010 at 10:44 pm
I feel like I have to watch this in a dark corner with the sound turned way down to prevent anyone from knowing I’m watching it.
Your review is great, but did you have to put the AUDIO FROM THE THING in there?
December 12, 2010 at 11:52 pm
Wow… you really dug into the deep layers of hell with this one James! Keep up the good work.
December 13, 2010 at 12:45 am
Oh god that looked awful. Just…. just awful. They look pretty scary. I know they would have scared the crap outta me when I was younger xD Great job like always nerd
December 13, 2010 at 1:57 am
They murdered Splinter.. Why god, Why!
December 13, 2010 at 2:56 am
I love the ending, James.
“Happy Shut The Fuck Up from Cinemassacre”.
So damn gentle!
December 13, 2010 at 3:12 am
Oh god in heaven that was bad. Obviously looking back on stuff like TMNT often doesn’t bode well but jesus. I can’t believe you didn’t comment on Splinter’s mask. There was a good 6 inches of space between the bottom of the mask and the actor’s shoulders. It’s so bad I’m thinking about watching the review again, which shouldn’t make sense but I”m sure you all know what I mean.
December 13, 2010 at 5:53 am
Oh lawd. This is the most retarded thing i’ve ever seen. Did i say “ever”? I ment this week. Though it’s only monday.
December 13, 2010 at 7:10 am
Oh boy… the costumes are just awesome
December 13, 2010 at 7:39 am
“Throw this shit in the trash.” No kidding. It’s hard to believe the Turtles were ever considered cool.
December 13, 2010 at 8:49 am
As usual with James’ reviews and various commentaries, I was laughing, grinning cheek-to-cheek and as well shaking my head to the bad parts. The question I was wondering: when anybody goes to film school or any schooling relating to producing movies and videos, etc., do they show these videos to illustrate what not-to-do? In fact, with these insightful as well as hilarious commentary, James could become an instructor and educate people on what not to do. Merry Christmas James!
December 13, 2010 at 9:48 am
Have a happy shut the fuck up everyone.
December 13, 2010 at 9:53 am
How dare you post a review of this with mentioning THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzkVxkiOqGA
December 13, 2010 at 10:02 am
This… Thing?… suck so much. I need to see this !
December 13, 2010 at 10:48 am
Now that is some shitty shit
December 13, 2010 at 11:22 am
Why did they make Leo sound like Raph? Why did he do a Jamaican accent for the deck the halls song? Was that a Jamaican or Indian accent?
So many questions that will never be answered.
December 13, 2010 at 11:31 am
happy shut the fuck up that part made me ROFL ;D NICE 1 JAMES
December 13, 2010 at 12:01 pm
I’d actually expect Donatello to be the turtle singing opera, since he is the smart one.
And Splinter suffers from gigantism apparently.