Deathstalker (1983)

Mike Matei / March 13th, 2010

Comments

  • MarkShark

    April 8, 2010 at 1:18 am

    Number one reporting for Deathstalking.

  • MarkShark

    April 8, 2010 at 1:24 am

    P.S. James…Do a review on the Ilsa films.

  • April 9, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    Those films may not be for me though I’m sure they would’ve belonged on the Playboy channel! I actually liked the opening Deathstalker theme! You should use that in some of your newest videos because of its fun epic sense!

    I just saw the MST3K episode on Deathstalker III and i’m sure it’s way better than the film itself!

  • UnguardedSquid

    April 10, 2010 at 12:21 am

    I never even heard of those movies util i watched this review they sound like all right movies

  • A.Regular-Person

    April 12, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    What the hell? Never before have i seen deathstalker, and i probably never will, but it sounds like the first two were good and the last two sucked cucumbers. Still a funny review though, keep it up James.

  • Biofetus

    April 12, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    This was really good breakdown, ive never even heard of these films before, so this was all new to me, they have been added to my list of films to watch 🙂

    Thanks James.

  • April 16, 2010 at 3:02 am

    So does the boob count refer to instances of boobs occurring in pairs, or as numbers of individual boobs?

  • Strazdas

    May 18, 2010 at 11:27 am

    well to start off any site that goes so far as to censor a word “rape” shoudl be shut down and never let go up again. it is okay to behead and torture people but just saying the word is somehow magically evil.
    now that i raged a bit,
    yeah those look like a really shitty movies 😛 i also though the first villian was cool though.

  • BurberryKnight

    May 30, 2010 at 9:55 am

    I looked up wiki for this and they dont even have a wiki page for deathstalker 4!
    The first girl for deathstalker 1 was murdered in real life and the movie which she starred in Barberian Queen is considered a cult classic.

  • SuperMario

    June 12, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    You know James, you are the funiest person I have ever met.

  • DreamUnicorn

    June 16, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    You’re so great to listen to, such an awesome narrator… so informative and SO entertaining at the same time. I seriously LOLd at the “worst sword fight” and the strange costumes. Probably won’t ever be watching these, but… great vid !

  • June 28, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    Well…at least the theme music is catchy! XD lol

  • Migz13

    July 6, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    Fuck It!! ROFLMAO!!

  • rives

    July 13, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    now when you say 18 boobs, do you mean 18 individual boobs or 18 pairs or do you mean 18 clips that have boobs in them?

  • Macabre215

    July 15, 2010 at 12:11 am

    I love bad movies so I’ll have to watch these, great review.

  • NickReaper

    July 22, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    i love deathstalker 2….and i think he says “FUCK IT! PORK IT!”

  • ZeroTheHero

    July 29, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Don’t think anyone’s mentioned it, but Lana Clarkson is the chick that Phil Spector shot in the face. On another note, I still remember Maria Ford from countless Skinemax flicks.

  • master nate

    August 7, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Rape just pisses me off in real life, let alone in movies. I mean, hinting to it in a film is one thing, but completing and showing that action in a film is just not necessary. Gotta be a sicko to want that in a movie or find it entertaining. Must have been a disturbed writer and director.

  • venom 51007

    August 9, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    NOW I KNOW WHAT THIS MOVIE IS FOR U WANNA KNOW WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……..BOOB HOUNDS YEAH BOOB HOUNDS

  • August 17, 2010 at 2:04 am

    You should check out a movie named Krull. Sci-Fi Fantasy mixed together in a compelling film. I usually feel like I’m watching an unrelated Star-Wars movie. In a good way.

  • Stormlord

    September 21, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    I wanna watch the 2nd one because the main chick looked hot.

  • Trayumongus

    October 19, 2010 at 10:45 am

    I so remember that series of B movies from the 80’s my favorite is by FAR Deathstalker 2 That movie was a spoof of the genre, it didn’t take itself seriously and as James said the guy playing Deathstalker seems to know that he is in a bad movie and plays with it all through all of it. There are many passes in that flick that still have me laughing out loud whenever i think of them.

  • Shin Gallon

    October 19, 2010 at 11:04 am

    The only Deathstalker I’ve seen was 3, and that was only the MST3K version. Still, I kinda like it in a bad, cheesy way, if only for the completely over-the-top line reads the villain gives everything. Plus, it’s one of the funniest MST3K episodes.
    Great review as always!

  • randomail44

    October 27, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    4:42 . “adult films” heh

  • fuddwupper

    October 28, 2010 at 1:20 am

    wouldnt mind seeing deathstalker 2 but 3 looks just plain bad

  • Xsane

    October 28, 2010 at 4:26 am

    This is one of the Movies that you always see on the Shelf at the Video Store, wonder what the Hell it’s about – But never actually rent it.. haha

  • Chietan

    November 16, 2010 at 12:03 am

    Does anyone know a website where i can watch all these crazy movies?? would much appreciate it

  • November 19, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Conan was cool as shit.
    But some of the comics better.
    Although, they didn’t have that musical ‘sound’ to them.

  • November 19, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    *were better.

  • November 19, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Well, after seeing this review, here’s one I recommend to you peeps:
    ‘Wizards of the Lost Kingdom’, if you can find it on VHS.
    No DVD release as far as I’m aware.
    It’s about…well…I have no idea.
    It’s about this young man who decides to fight against an evil sorcerer because this sorcerer requires a magic ring to dominate the kingdom he already conquered.
    That, and half-second mermaid nudity, recycled random footage, undead warriors who come out of their grave and disappear a few seconds later..I think you might be interested.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KoRf6QFacw

  • TheEnigmaticRonin

    February 3, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    the first one is actually pretty good

  • nintarisega2600

    April 29, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    what were they rated like G,PG,M,MA,F

  • April 29, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    @nintarisega2600

    Actually I’m pretty sure all the movies are R-rated!

  • April 30, 2011 at 12:23 am

    James you totally need to make a Deathstalker type movie. It could be funny and gruesome at the same time and I’m sure it would be 100x better than this gar-bitch 😉

  • viJilance

    April 30, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Stop reviewing movies man, it honestly doesn’t have the same feel as your video game reviews.

  • viJilance

    April 30, 2011 at 10:57 am

    Also, when you hit the boob count- is that per nipple or per rack?

  • infestor

    April 30, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    why the fuck are the boobs censored? wtf wtf man!

  • Deichmann

    May 1, 2011 at 9:38 am

    the pig-man looks like ganon in the legend of zelda cartoon show

  • GroJLart

    May 2, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    I saw Deatherstalker and the Warriors from Hell when I was a kid. Even when it was new it was crap.

    As always, check out my Philadelphia blog at:

    http://philaphilia.blogspot.com

  • May 29, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    John Terlesky looks like a second rate stand-in for Bruce Campbell.

  • obliterator

    June 17, 2011 at 1:24 am

    I just laughted the whole review, the acting of the porno girl was fuckin awful, and the villians looks like enemies of asterix or something.

  • July 13, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    i want to see every deathstalker movie including the spinoff series! (Except for deathstalker 3. that looks stupid as hell.)

  • exploda

    August 23, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    this REALLY makes me want to watch the series as well as similar titles like Ator, I just love this kind of shit

  • super.slam.bros

    September 10, 2011 at 1:29 am

    Being one that has actually sat through all 4, your review is spot on. 3 was super boring and 4 really was just cut and pasted from the other films. And how many times could they show the brothel scene or the guy being dragged by a horse. Barbarian Queen isn’t much better. For cheezy 80’s fantasy I did dig Hawk The Slayer.

  • EXPLODA!

    November 16, 2011 at 4:02 am

    I got my hands on a DVD of Deathstalker 2 and it has commentary which I found entertaining, they really didn’t give a fuck. There’s an MST3K for Deathstalker 3 so I think that is the only format worth watching.

  • SeanFrye

    January 6, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    Damn that lady in the second movie can’t act.

  • DaveMcGrath

    January 23, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    This is my favorite video review on Cinnemassacre! I started to find films that seemed worth watching after I first saw this. Thanks James!

  • Piet

    January 30, 2012 at 12:51 am

    Ialways liked Deathstalker. Sure their not the best movies ever made but still…

    I mean, how could you go wrong with violence and sex? 😀

  • March 8, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    The guy who played the Deathstalker in number two was in an awesome movie from the eighties called ‘Chopping Mall’.  It’s terrible….but so much fun.

  • alihodzicadnan

    March 29, 2012 at 3:40 am

    also my favorite movie review would be nice if you reviewed more of these 80s fantasy b-movie films

  • alihodzicadnan

    March 29, 2012 at 3:40 am

    also my favorite movie review would be nice if you reviewed more of these 80s fantasy b-movie films

  • thatepicguy

    September 8, 2012 at 4:23 am

    i love this review it makes me laugh every time

  • January 6, 2013 at 4:03 am

    So I’m getting into the review, enjoying Jame’s commentary and then all of a sudden I realize something. The villains from the fourth movie look quite familiar. I look the movie up and yes, I was right. They are bulgarian actors. You could even say they are famous actors in their country. I also found out that the entire movie was shot in Bulgaria. Yes, when a movie is filmed in our country, you know that they don’t want to spend too much money or effort into making it. Also, did you know that some of the scenes from The Expendables were shot in Bulgaria? Great review, James. Oh, and sorry, no Miak in Bulgaria…

  • Iron65

    October 8, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    Fuck it

  • skwij

    November 5, 2013 at 7:03 am

    I don’t know if I should hunt these down or run from them. Thanks for the video!

  • Smokingspoon

    July 9, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    That villain in deathstalker 2. He was in that cheesy mst3k episode Space Mutiny, right? I never forget faces lol

    Also, I’ve only seen deathstalker with Mst3k!

  • legacy81

    May 12, 2016 at 1:20 am

    I love watching these cheesy B movies….they used to play these ‘midnight movies’ and middle-of-the-night movies back in the early-to-mid 90s on TV….classic stuff…

    you dont watch these kinds of movies because of how fake you think they are. u watch them because its cool to sit down and relax and pop in a movie and grab some popcorn and beer and just forget about the stress of life.

    thats what makes them so fun to watch!

  • Ty Palmer

    May 29, 2016 at 4:51 pm

    Obscure indeed…

  • August 3, 2016 at 7:30 pm

    deathstalker? more like rapestalker lol

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