Mike Matei / January 27th, 2009
April 19, 2010 at 2:16 am
Damn. Simon’s Quest is less cryptic than this.
April 24, 2010 at 1:37 am
Apparently, according to Wikipedia, the 16-bit sequel to Milon’s Secret Asshole was released for the Wii Virtual Console in North America, but NOT translated to English. So I guess if the game wasn’t cryptic enough already, you can roll yourself some Japanese SNES shit-sushi.
April 28, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Great review. I embarrassingly must admit that I run a little fansite for this game, though I can’t really argue with the shitty aspects you point out. If anybody is interested in playing through the game without being confused what to do, I’ve got a handy walkthrough on my site. http://defgav.com/nes/msc/
May 17, 2010 at 5:30 pm
I own this game. It is like a puzzle game. You have to find Secret’s all over the game. It is hard but the longer you play it you get more used to it.
May 20, 2010 at 8:54 pm
OMG! I remember this game : it was the favorite game of my ex! I should have known right there something was wrong!
I like “puzzle” games, but this is ridiculous…
May 21, 2010 at 11:26 pm
I might have to disagree with you on this one, James (sorry man) At first I guess the game is very cryptic, confusing, and impossible. I don’t know how I managed to get through, I don’t remember reading about it in Nintendo Power. But once you figure out what’s going on, it makes for a good challenging game to play. I never did beat it when I was a kid. Also fucked up on the continue thing near the end and some of the bosses become tough.
May 23, 2010 at 11:59 pm
Gotta love how the box boasts “Over 3/4 million copies sold.” I’m not going to lie to you; that there is one impressive accomplishment.
June 1, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Jesus, that Hudson Soft bee still gives me the chills just as much as the LJN rainbow does.
June 13, 2010 at 10:38 am
There’s a version for the Gameboy. I think it’s the same game, but the ending is OVER 9000 times better
June 20, 2010 at 8:15 pm
this princess can go fuck herself.
July 17, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Hey why would only girls want to shoot bubbles at shit?? Fuck bubbles
July 26, 2010 at 3:11 am
Okay I bought the game in the wii shop………..and I kind of like it. I keep dying though. Your review is correct on all the short comeings of this game. Oh and I would like to add the enemys are to fucking hard and I hate that they respawn. Fuck respawning enemys
July 29, 2010 at 3:29 pm
What about the gameboy version i have it and i think it’s pretty interesting
September 10, 2010 at 8:52 pm
“The whole game is based on secrets.” Well, who the fuck would’ve guessed that. I mean, the title doesn’t suggest that it has anything to do with secrets at all. Seriously, WHO THE FUCK WOULD’VE FIGURED THIS GAME HAD… SECRETSSSSSS???????
January 23, 2014 at 7:33 pm
But…”there’s a difference between secrets and JUST FUCKIN IMPOSSIBLE!!! FUCK THIS GAME!!!”
October 6, 2010 at 1:35 pm
This game is whack! Viva La Nerd!!
October 22, 2010 at 1:48 am
Yeah this game is pissin me off and Im only watching it bein played!! FUCK!!!
October 25, 2010 at 11:23 am
“It’s not Mario, or Mega Man, or MIchael Jackson.” XD
This game is possibly the most difficult in a sissy way of the entire NES library. Hopefully, you won’t review Barbie, another sissy NES game.
November 25, 2011 at 5:57 am
Too late, he already did. He showed it at the end at his special where he showed how he made his avgn episodes.
December 5, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Anyone know the name of the medieval knight game at 0:39-0:40? I used to play that when I was a kid at my friend’s place and don’t remember what it is but I’d like to buy it.
January 9, 2012 at 9:55 pm
It’s Astyanax for the NES. It’s a fun game. You should try it out sometime.
January 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm
@Jordanv78 Jesus Christ, Astyanax. That game has to be on par with the most delayed hit detection in an NES game.
January 19, 2011 at 6:00 pm
February 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Have you ever played Myst 5?
That game is even more cryptic than this.
August 7, 2011 at 10:23 am
FUCK THIS GAME!
September 1, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Whats your problem james thats not even the right awnser to that equasion and your supposed too be a nerd and it actually 1420
November 17, 2011 at 12:25 am
March 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Not counting having to shoot the constantly respawning enemies.
March 31, 2012 at 5:59 pm
His name isn’t “The Angry Math Nerd”
January 11, 2015 at 9:30 pm
He’s counting both of the rooms you need to go through before you can progress, each amounting to 1440 spaces. Note the “X 2 ROOMS” in his equation. Fucking smartasses.
September 19, 2011 at 6:36 pm
there’s arrow made out of windows pointing to where the door is suppose to beee
September 23, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I remember playing this game as a kid and loving the colors and such–I never got far, and played the first level like fifty times XD
November 25, 2011 at 5:56 am
I like to throw bubbles at mini creatures. how about you guys?
February 14, 2012 at 5:49 am
Nah that sucks money crap. @sage_terriblegames
December 6, 2011 at 9:59 am
I owned this game as a kid and beat it without help. It drove me crazy, and I still remember when I first found the secret shop. The fire room pissed me off so much I could barely stand it. It took forever to beat it, but back then I didn’t know other gamers or have magazines or the internet to turn to. It was just me, the controller and motherfucking Milon.
December 28, 2011 at 10:00 pm
i found this on wii market and i could not belive it!!!!!
January 16, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Honestly, this is the one review I’m not 100% behind avgn about. I liked the game, but don’t disagree that it’s hard as duke nukem’s balls
January 23, 2012 at 4:02 am
that game looks so frustration
January 25, 2012 at 1:44 pm
They say this is a good but really tough game. It’s like Ipad NBA 2k12.
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February 11, 2012 at 8:00 pm
what is the game that apears in 27 secs of the video? (a ship shotting at stuff) i used to have that game but i forgot its name.
March 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm
@Diogo I believe it’s called Fantasy Zone.
April 1, 2012 at 7:26 am
@wariofan14 thank you SO VERY MUCH
April 19, 2012 at 12:46 am
Oh wow. This is a blast from the past. I definitely remember borrowing this game from a friend back in like 1989-90. Kind of quirky and under the radar, but I definitely thought it had potential. Then again, I don’t remember getting to the first boss, for the reasons James outlines.
December 13, 2012 at 1:06 pm
I actually really enjoyed this game as a kid, it reminded me of Zelda because everything was a hidden strategy. Anyways there is a way to continue with all your items and health. When you die, hold left, and press start at the title screen. Most likely you’ll be doing this often enjoy!
December 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm
What’s hilarious is that Milon’s Secret Castle and Simon’s Quest were the two games I absolutely loved as a child. I loved playing for hours and finally figuring something out. Still love AVGN!
June 10, 2013 at 12:08 am
“Milon’s Shitty Asshole” for the NES!! What a fucking terrible game!! And it was re-released on the Wii Virtual Console!! Huzzah!!
June 21, 2013 at 3:49 am
I liked the game when I was a kid
October 22, 2013 at 8:19 pm
December 16, 2013 at 9:27 pm
“More like Milon’s shitty asshole” LOL
January 10, 2014 at 12:54 am
I just noticed that the opening sequence shows a split-second long clip of Crystalis. That’s my favorite NES game and one of my all time favorite games
Oh well, it’s not the first time James accidentally slipped a great game into an AVGN opening sequence, lol.
April 29, 2014 at 2:31 am
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