AVGN: Bible Games 2

Mike Matei / December 23rd, 2008

Watch this video on Youtube

Comments

  • Laizu

    April 8, 2010 at 7:38 am

    Lol i love your Bible Games reviews :)

  • acebats

    April 25, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    any more bible games?

  • Static Frost

    May 15, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    actually, Cheetahman 2 was the last game ever made for the NES, is was in 1997, although it was technically never released… several carts were found in a warehouse all the copies of the game were on recycled action 52 carts…

    • June 16, 2013 at 1:55 pm

      Are you Cheetahmen 2 was the final NES game ever?
      NES discontinued around 1995 in America & Europe and 2003 in Japan.

    • June 16, 2013 at 1:58 pm

      Sorry that I forgot Sure in the end, blame me for sentence error, lol.

  • Vyncent

    May 19, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    “Who are these raging athiests that don’t want you to go to church?” Heh. love that line.

  • June 20, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    i think, this boy on a skate want’s to go to sunday school so much and trying so hard, because of dreams, coming from previous life, where he saving undressed girl. it’s the only explanation, why would young boy risk his life for a sunday school.
    —-
    wow, amazing. a board game (which is a sort of gambling game, where you must “throw” dices) as a bible game. that’s so wrong)))))
    and yeah – poor little exploding boy, who wanted to go to church..legs,arms,head,torso – all fucked up into pieces… that’s so violent)))))
    and violent scenes with someone, hitting another one with a knot… i would never give my child even a single try to play these games, coz it would definetly cause a psychological trauma for the rest of child’s life. even if you an adult, if you’re playing these games – you must be some maniac killer, or something))

  • volt28

    June 29, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    If a game wasn’t released then it doesn’t count as the latest game

  • BananaJello

    July 1, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    They need to make a bible game with Mecha Death Christ.

    “FUCKERS!!!!”

  • CharlieBrownGhostAss

    July 5, 2010 at 7:25 am

    Ever play “BIBLE BLACK” for PC?

  • volt28

    July 8, 2010 at 2:06 am

    LOl @ BananaJello. Yes something with Mecha death christ would be awesome and funny as fuck.

  • kamakazi geek

    July 9, 2010 at 8:58 am

    funny vid nerd :)
    can brits buy your dvd’s?

  • peachdaisy22

    August 12, 2010 at 8:14 am

    lol Those games suck ass!
    I cant believe they would even make games like that!
    Its retarded and so are the people who make them…

  • Carlos Mallqui

    August 14, 2010 at 10:49 am

    lmfao BABY MOSES!!!!!!

  • classicgamelover85

    August 28, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    Um, nerd, you STILL HAVE NOT YET DONE ALL THE BIBLE GAMES OUT THERE–there are a few you missed still. Um, for the GBA for example… there’s one where you play as two kids, and i don’t know you pick between a boy and a girl and then there’s that demon thing that you got to stay away from… um… i got really bored with it on the emulator. Yeah, i wouldn’t pay for anything like that… but… not just that one but there are others too. I don’t want to list them.

  • September 8, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    I liked the one where you couldn’t stop saying Baby Moses.
    “Baby Moses, baby Moses, baby Moses.” And “Sheepy..Sheepy, sheepy, sheepy!”

  • Fred_Fuchs

    September 8, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Can’t believe someone actually played this shit…!!

    Ned Flanders’ kids did for sure!

    XD

  • October 7, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    The most epic moment in nerd history is when he reveals the CDI games. You just know that combo is going to be hell (pun intended). I hope those games weren’t somebodies Christmas presents one year.

  • phoenix252005

    October 22, 2010 at 1:46 am

    Wow…they coulda made em better at least lol,then again that was so long ago

  • SpeedyEric

    October 25, 2010 at 12:50 am

    Why would Wisdom Tree make these games incredibly boring? Also, “Kill all babies.” Really?

    All bible based games should have been made by Kanomi.

    I’d like to see you review Captain Comic. The name sounds gineric, and I bet (like all Color Dreams/Wisdom Tree games) it’s as betraial as Judas.

    I’d like to know what dope in what pipe the jack@$$es of Wisdom Tree were smoking when they thought up, designed, and released these games.

    What is it with these Karioke songs on these bible games. This is why I prefur singing songs traditionaly sung at my local church.

    Five minutes or more of “yippy, yippy, oops” is just enough to have you start a murder spree.

  • metroidfan37

    November 6, 2010 at 10:51 pm

    3:32 hey its the lawn mower man its one of the four (kinda sucky games) that i have for mY SNES

  • December 16, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    @Static Frost

    The games were found in the warehouse in 1996. They were, however; made very much earlier. Sunday Funday was the last game ever made.

  • Haristo

    December 17, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    All those Shitty Wisdom Tree games are playable on their official Website ! God sake it’s fucking unplayable and LAME ! it Stinks ! get it a try it really value it.. oh and Mr. Nerd, they are making a huge sale of their old Shitty NES Games, make us a Bible Game III soon using that content for NES and PC.

  • Snafu

    December 27, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    @CharlieBrownGhostAss Dear God, I’ve been trying to block that game from my memory ever since the infamous “Clitoris Transformation” scene.*shudder*

  • ninja gaiden

    February 13, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    any new bilble shit?

  • Furypants

    April 24, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Those karaoke songs were beyond awful. If I tried singing any of those at my church, I’d probably be asked to step outside.

  • SuperTett

    May 8, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    There’s an unsued/new copy of King James Bible on Gameboy for 20$

  • rush2112

    May 27, 2011 at 9:14 am

    Master of puppets midi file at 4:06 \m/,

  • TheMicrowavableZumer

    May 30, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    Excuse Me Your Remark On Atheists Offends Me Alot !

  • disco steve

    June 11, 2011 at 8:50 am

    @Zumer

    Speaking as an Agnostic myself? Get a sense of humor, dude.

  • disco steve

    June 11, 2011 at 9:04 am

    @Zumer

    There are people of many walks of life here: religious and non. We’ve all come together to enjoy James’ work and have a laugh. Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Pagans, Atheists, and Agnostics we are all here and we are having a good time. Even when he does make slight jokes about any of these groups, most everyone in the “targeted group” laughs and has a ball (because we know that James isn’t out to hurt anyone, he’s just here to entertain and put smiles on faces). Why, James himself is a Christian and yet he (like most of his fellows in that faith on this site) has poked fun at his OWN group and they all laugh with us.

    Zealots like you (an Atheistic Zealot, in this case) are not going to find purchase here.

    So let it go,pull the stick out, and join the party!

  • Neato Burrito

    June 20, 2011 at 11:57 am

    the actual answer wasn’t kill all babies. I think it was kill all male babies or some shit.

  • June 23, 2011 at 2:19 am

    I am watching every episode and loving them all… but this fucking Mexican grill commercial is getting on my nerves SOO BADLY.

  • yoshi2000

    June 27, 2011 at 8:07 am

    @ disco steve

    yeah, Zumer was being sarcastic dude. You know, to make a joke related to the video…but I guess you were busy being a religious nutbag to notice.

    His sense of humor had me smirk before you buzzkilled everything. Just because someone doesn’t *want* to believe in someone’s god does not mean there’s anything wrong with them. Labeling them zealots is no better than Christians during the Crusade you overbearing brainwasher. You and your religious life are a lie based on your own reasoning.

    also I love this video, combined with the first Bible games there is some serious shit to play religious wise on the NES lol

  • disco steve

    July 31, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Yoshi,

    Me? Religious?

    Hey numbnuts, what part of “I am an agnostic” don’t you get? But I guess you were too busy being a raging fanatic to read, and instead made broad accusations in order to satisfy your own prejudices. I don’t believe in either side until better evidence arrives. So far far, neither has produced it.

    Given how many people reacted his same way on Screwattack and were as serious as a heart attack (like say…YOU), I’d say there’s a high chance that he was completely serious and needed someone to come in and cool his heels (or at least, speak up so that all non-religious people don’t get lumped in with him).

    “Just because someone doesn’t *want* to believe in someone’s god does not mean there’s anything wrong with them.”

    …and visa-versa. Lest you forget our host is one of them.

    “Labeling them zealots is no better than Christians during the Crusade you overbearing brainwasher.”

    The irony is overwhelming, given your actions here. Your entire screed, your own words shoot you in the foot: labeling anyone who disagrees with your ideological hang-ups a “religious nutcase” or a “overbearing brainwasher” despite the fact that they are neither reveals that you are indeed, a zealot in every sense of the word.

    You are no better than the Jacobins during the Reign of Terror or the Stalinists during the Purges, you knuckle dragging, drooling ideologue.

    “You and your religious life are a lie based on your own reasoning.”

    Yeah, you should have really focused on reading comprehension in grammar school, skippy.

    Of course, I could say the same for your ideology (it’s a lie based on your own reasoning or lack thereof). So far, both you and the religious seem to occupy the same space insofar as the worth of your argumentation. Personally? I’m not impressed with either side.

    It seems they both have their share of zealots.

    Now quit clogging up the comments section for this video with your preaching.

  • the thinker

    July 31, 2011 at 9:12 pm

    what the fuck?

    that “sunday funday” game looks like it took its cue from “fist of the north star” with all the exploding body parts.

    i mean look at this shit: those aren’t indistinct little blobs, they detailed your character’s limbs, head
    and random viscera scattering all over the place. that’s some messed up crap. its awesome though. i never say no
    to images of children getting blown the fuck up.

    not to mention the whole idea of surfin through a sewer system assaulting elvis impersontors sounds like something
    out of a suda 51 game (minus the references to mexican wrestling and anime).

    think about it, if you put travis touchdown there, you could integrate the game as a minigame for the next “no more heroes”. its random enough for the job.

    a shame none of the other games were up to snuff. i’d totally play the hell out of anything that says “kill all babies”. im a sick motherfucker, but hey at least i know what i like.

  • the thinker

    July 31, 2011 at 9:12 pm

    one more thing, nerd. are you ever planning to give fist of the north star on the nes and the many, many, many other shitty games based on the anime/manga a full review?

    if so, i have a few of them with me (the nes cartridge, the psx import cd, the snes tournament fighter). you ain’t seen shit until you’ve put these turds on. i paid a total of $10 bucks for the lot of them and i still feel ripped off. i don’t usually donate games to shows, but for you and for this? sure, why not?

  • glowing

    August 6, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    I nearly laughed out of my seat! Thank you, James!

  • August 8, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    I love this video. The part where he reveals the CDI games is about as epic as it gets. I think this is one of my all-time favorites.

  • Luigi12

    August 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    i cant beleve i have a copy of bible games

  • Luigi12

    August 10, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    i mean bible adventurers and its a black cart

  • Raysmooth

    August 16, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    That noise when he gets bounced around sound a hell of a fucking lot like when you are punching King Hippo in the belly. Yeeaah..

  • Avgn Fan422

    August 18, 2011 at 8:20 am

    Guys Stop Arguing about Religion! If your an atheist WHO CARES if your Christan WHO GIVES 2 FUCKS?

  • glowing

    August 18, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Odd question: if I have game to donate (since I hear you may be putting things on hold AVGN-wise after the movie) would you still accept it now, James?

  • glowing

    August 18, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    Looking back on it: I admit the question was phrased oddly, but I just didn’t want to send you something that you couldn’t use.

  • Furypants

    August 19, 2011 at 1:49 am

    Yeah, if they sang any of those songs at my church, they’d probably be met with awkward silence (and facepalms).

    Those lyrics were….eugh. That was just painful.

  • PFS

    August 21, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Haha, it’s so funny reading these religion war fanatics… Why do you take everything so seriously? No one cares about your religions! Just enjoy the vid.

  • disco steve

    August 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    @PFS

    Seems quite obvious to me there are fanatics on both sides (as Zumer and Yoshi demonstrate with their own fanaticism). So I would say that no one cares about your religion or your atheism, so every one should shut the fuck up.

  • Zinc20

    August 21, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    Seems like Super Noah’s Ark could have been the greatest game ever. If only there were bosses. Like a goat. A really fucking huge goat. That fired smaller goats. That exploded.

  • Zinc20

    August 21, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Okay, I take back what I just said. Turns out SNA 3D does have bosses after all.

    A spitting camel.

    A crap throwing monkey (I’m not kidding).

    A…kangaroo.

    An elephant.

    With the big boss being….a bear in a in a ghillie suit who tries to claw your eyes out and has two forms.

    Suddenly, my goat launcher idea doesn’t seem so far fetched.

  • Zinc20

    August 21, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    Oh, and in case you wanted to see the bear boss for yourself:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEWnb8n0WMc

    Yes, we have Noah battling a grizzly who is in sniper camo.

  • Zinc20

    August 21, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    One last thing: similar lockout chip technology was used on another Wolfenstein cart to create a–you may want to sit down for this–a Smurf FPS.

    If ever there was a game that needed to be reviewed by the AVGN, it’s a game where you Smurf the crap out of things.

  • virgo

    August 23, 2011 at 9:41 am

    that just hurts! even the turtle games were less buggy!

  • August 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    lmao at “Ballz” in intro every time.

  • August 27, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    “Time 2 Flick the shit switch turn up the diahrea dile its bible games on cdi yeah we’re livin on the edge more like livin on a prayer” My all time favorite line by James

  • August 30, 2011 at 3:21 am

    Juuupiiii, ups, juuupiiii,juuupiiii, ups…..
    OMG

  • phoenix252005

    September 1, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    verrry interesting,who knew?

  • rozencrantz

    September 15, 2011 at 9:40 am

    yeah elvis is devilish rock’n’roll !!! )))))))))

  • flipmywhip

    September 18, 2011 at 6:25 am

    because james said livin on a prayer :Oh oh, livin’ on a prayer Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear Oh oh, livin’ on a prayer

  • ShutTheFuck_Up

    November 22, 2011 at 12:07 am

    i really would love to play this….NOT! lol

    • redturner15neo

      December 25, 2011 at 2:34 am

      @ShutTheFuck_Up The 90′s called,they want their dumb jokes back and they’re willing to pay $1.30 a gallon for em.

  • ohferfckssake

    November 22, 2011 at 7:51 am

    What…the….fuck?

  • 8BitTerror

    November 27, 2011 at 2:58 am

    hahahaha

  • DylanParrott

    December 10, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    lol i love the xmas james

  • Jackass351

    December 14, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    LOL

  • FrankCabanski

    December 24, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Father Abraham had many sons, but none of them played this crap.

  • fiercedietyfan

    December 25, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    you should do a review of evo on snes

    • PixelJustice

      December 25, 2011 at 6:51 pm

      @fiercedietyfan as much as that would be awesome, I think that game might be too good for him to review. I personally loved E.V.O, it had its flaws but it would be hard to make fun of for a whole review is what I mean. would be awesome though lol

  • NeillGreathouse

    February 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    lol Native Americans were original Hebrews lol the original Hebrews were brown weird huh??

    *trippy!*

  • JJAB91

    March 4, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Um…Native Americans didn’t exist in Noah’s time? What? lol I think you mean location.

  • Tmann

    September 1, 2012 at 9:43 am

    I really really really want you to review SUPER MARIO WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • iLikeTehGamez

    November 15, 2012 at 12:11 am

    Possibly the best nerd quote:
    “If I was God, I’d be pissed.”

  • kevinhwsohn

    November 25, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Sunday Funday on NES also known as Super Boy in Korea….

  • LegallyBlindGamer

    December 2, 2012 at 5:34 am

    About the Noah’s Ark game, it really sucks that the bonus stages drop you back at the beginning of the stage you were playing. In Sonic Chaos for the Game Gear, you automatically advanced to the next level after playing a Special Stage.

  • Maxwell1981

    December 2, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    I think I know what the items are in the first game, ‘Exodus’. I think they’re containers of milk and honey. In a bible passage, the Promised Land was also called “a land flowing with milk and honey”.

  • King12String

    December 15, 2012 at 11:25 am

    That first voice from CD-I sounded like Ben Stein.

  • January 18, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    This is my favorite theme song.

  • June 16, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    All Bible games suck, fuck you Wisdom Tree!

  • Slyjay

    June 20, 2013 at 4:09 am

    That was pretty cool. Leave it to Konami to make something decent. Also, I liked exodus as a kid but not sure how I would be today. lol

  • August 3, 2013 at 11:03 pm

    I just found that Exodus game at a swap meet yesterday for only $5. I bought it mainly as a joke, but man i should’ve just taken the nerd’s word for it. It SUUUUCCKKKS.

  • November 3, 2013 at 3:08 am

    The “idol” in the one CD-I game sounds like Revrand Lovejoy, lol

  • December 13, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    Bible games holy shit what’s next

  • December 16, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    As one who loves video games and preaches of a perfect equality (including freedom of religion in The USA’s Bill of Rights and 1st constitutional amendment), I am incredibly upset with these unlicensed games. I do agree with the spreading of your religion, but to go out of your way and make something that is possibly illegal is not O.K.

    • Seth Warner

      January 2, 2014 at 9:39 pm

      I know isn’t that a load of crap?

  • badass kickass

    December 24, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    Your reproducer is shit

  • Seth Warner

    January 2, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    I can’t believe how much they could mess up the bible.

  • pokemario99

    February 12, 2014 at 7:25 pm

    i have now seen every AVGN videos

  • March 29, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    HOLY SHIT, I’ve actually played that first game. I got it as a kid, and I was really good at it. But it’s a bad game nonetheless. Maybe that’s why I’m an atheist now?

  • June 20, 2014 at 12:34 am

    This is The First Assembly of The Holy Kirk, and the mission of my new nerdy religion is to seek comfort, wisdom, and maybe something about ourselves and our future by spreading the enlightening words of the 79 stories charting the adventures of the star ship Enterprise. All who wish to join my online discussions say “Live Long And Prosper” as a comment. This may be what Trekkies might need to be complete, and be enlightened on the deeper meanings that each episode contains.
    THANK YOU
    — Caleb Culbert

  • July 27, 2014 at 10:30 am

    One of your best reviews! thank you. my boyfriend and I sing “Moses and Me” daily! which is funny being secularists. But besides all that, that don’t matter. what does is that those games sucks. thanks james!

  • fcabanski

    October 21, 2014 at 1:42 am

    They should have used the robot pyramid voice for the connect the dots.

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