Episode #8 – Printers

Mike Matei / June 3rd, 2008

Comments

  • Luke from london

    April 9, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    …..ermmm….. yeah……. mmm….

  • Shadowtube567

    April 9, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    lol.

  • delagrande

    April 11, 2010 at 10:27 am

    its true mine fuck up to the point i had to call my technician twice

  • ejp022791

    April 13, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    lol, James got pretty mad at his printer. Mine was doing the same exact thing until I just bought a new one.

  • mandatoryRegistration

    April 15, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    Printers ARE bullshit. I haven’t owned a printer in like 6 years. I just write shit down if I need to take google maps directions with me. It may be a step backward in technology, but it’s a giant fucking leap forward in not having to deal with bullshit.

    (know what else is bullshit? Registration.
    username: mandatoryRegistration
    pass: isbullshit )

  • wildgoosespeeder

    April 19, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    Another thing about most printers; they don’t come with a USB cable! You have to buy one seperately. So you go to the store to buy your new printer. You setup your new printer and uh oh! You can’t use it yet because it needs to be connected to your computer and you don’t have the USB cable needed. So you go back to the store and there’s a variety of USB cables to choose from and chances are you may buy the wrong USB cable. Why can’t a USB cable be packaged with the printer? Imagine if this was your iPod. You can’t sync your iTunes library to your iPod until you buy the right cable.

  • April 19, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    You would think that after all these fucking years someone would have came up with an extremely simple and easy to use printer, but oh no, we can’t do that. We’re a greedy corporation who needs you to buy our product so we can continue to rape your anus till you’re dead and burried. I hate printers.

  • TheValsalvaManeuver

    April 24, 2010 at 1:53 am

    James, you’ve done it again! You’ve perfectly captured the human emotion of frustration. I’ve owned at least 4 HP printers, and they’ve ALL given me this exact same bullshit! All I want to do is print BLACK TEXT ON WHITE PAPER but I can’t because the COLOR INK is low!!! I get an error, and the only way to clear it is to hit the ON button, which automatically causes the printer to print some color/black & white page that I don’t fucking want!!

    I recently bought an HP Deskjet FF4480. Now, I’m not an expert on printers, and I don’t expect you to be either. But I can tell you that HP are a bunch of gimmicky fuckers. There is a nice Ink-Level LCD dislay at the front of the printer, which is really nice, until you realize that it is bullshit. The color and B&W ink cartridges are sold as a joint package with the same number, 60. Basically, the printer expects you to run out of black and color ink at around the same pace, which is ridiculous. So what happens when you inevitably use up your black ink faster than your color ink? You have to buy the combo replacement pack with the color and black ink together! But then, after you install the new black, the software tells you that the inks are desynchronized and that it will permanently slow down printing. The printer then no longer accurately displays your black ink levels, but instead shows an empty bar with an exclamation mark, as if there is some error. Fuck you HP. You know that 99% of your customers are going to have this problem, but you present it as some unanticipated glitch because you are a bunch of greedy assholes.

  • May 3, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    hahahahaha!!! xD Yeah that is some bullshit…
    I have had the same problem when i were using my mom`s old printer, but it got something to do with the setting or anything… i dunno O0″
    You gotta find it out by yourself ^^”

  • May 4, 2010 at 9:05 am

    2007 at christmas I bought a laser printer the clerk sayed that toner is only 1/3 filled (about 1000 pages).
    2009 december the printer start showing message that toner is low.
    2010 january the printer shows message that toner is empty.
    2010 05 04 on empty printer I printed over a 1000 pages.

    Now that is bullshit.

  • MaximusPM

    May 13, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    Printers are peripherals from HELL. They never print what you want, keep wasting paper and ink… Once, i turned of my printer in the middle of one of these rage prints, turned it on a few months later, and it decided to keep printing what I asked before turning it off!

  • mandatoryRegistration

    May 17, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    LOL I CAN HAS UR PASSWORD!!!

  • mandatoryRegistration

    May 23, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    i am gay

  • Zerro

    May 25, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    hysterical!

  • May 26, 2010 at 2:45 am

    There’s a secret for when you run out of color ink before black ink:

    1. Go to Control Panel

    2. Printers and Faxes

    3. Right click on your printer

    4. Click properties

    5. Click Advanced Tab

    6. Click on Printing Defaults

    7. Click on Paper Quality Tab

    8. Tell it to pint in Black & White ONLY

    Now your printer will ONLY print in Black & White, BUT it will NOT FORCE YOU TO BUY COLOR INK!!!

  • mesaone

    June 5, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    The constant ink problem is why they can sell printers for so cheap, or give them away with purchases. If I pay $100 for a printer/scanner I think “wow, that was a good deal” until it’s time to refill the ink every 2 months, and the ink costs 1/2 what the printer cost. And the alignment pages I think are designed to waste ink so you have to refill more often.

  • June 6, 2010 at 9:20 am

    that is why you should get a Kodak EasyShare printer

  • GuitarKirby

    June 10, 2010 at 11:40 am

    You know what’s BULLshit? Being the household tech nerd. No one gives a fuck that I fix this bullshit all the time! “Guys, the numbers have to match.” I say that like 20 billion fuckin’ times before they understand that the numbers HAVE TO FUCKIN’ MATCH. That’s bullshit.

  • July 5, 2010 at 3:04 am

    Printers are hell. The HP cartridge thing is total BS. Switched to a Brother HL-2170W (prints only B&W for my needs) and I love it. Yea the ink cartage is expensive, but I can print up 250 pages without nursemaiding the dam thing. Been using it for about six months now, printed a good 1,500 pages. No jams. Easy wireless setup. Long cartridge life.

    I remember the old printers from the early 90s. They were total BS. They were huge, jammed constantly, and would suddenly stop printing with 100 pages to go. That was hell. That was Bull Shit.

  • mad2physicist

    July 16, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    Printers are the spawn of satan. People sometimes ask me for help with their computers (as I have a reputation for being able to either fix or break any computer I touch, but at least when I leave, your system won’t be in the same state it was when I got there) but I generally refuse to have anything to do with printers. I will only deal with a printer with a baseball bat or an uzi (I guess other firearms would be acceptable too).

  • July 17, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    I recently bought a Dell-brand printer for my Dell computer…because when you buy from Dell, that’s your only fucking option.

    I’m not going to relate my issues with it here because that would be a serious case of TL;DR. I’ll just say that I eventually thought of hurling the fucking thing out the window. Despite the assistance of about half the population of India, I’ll be returning the goddamned thing. And Dell will reimburse me because they sold me a 60 dollar turd with cables connected.

  • missvixen31

    July 30, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    printers ARE bullshit. i plugged in a new printer directly to my computer about 3 weeks ago, and it was working fine. all of a sudden, one day, i get error messages saying “the document failed to print”. what the shit? nothing seems to be wrong with it, it’s just another piece of donkey crap printer.

  • keystpwned

    August 6, 2010 at 2:03 am

    friggin crooks, i never understood why i can buy a new printer cheaper than i can buy a couple of ink cartridges… i’ll stick to printing at work haha

  • DarkSlayer

    August 9, 2010 at 9:03 am

    The same thing happens to me when I use my printer. I get that stupid test print thing(the color junk that kept coming out in your video)almost everytime I started it up, wasting my ink.

  • asc3asc3asc

    August 15, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    get refill kits fuck greedy companies

  • Mr. K

    August 27, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    I really hate how ignorant printers are. I wish they’d interface with computers better.

  • kentkennedy

    September 2, 2010 at 5:55 am

    My parents just buy another printer. Hey, it’s cheaper.

  • Steam123

    September 8, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    LOL i just made an acct just to type this.

    man…i have exactly the same printer as u have and i must agree completely. its so funny seeing u have the same problems as i do with the printer…i guess it really is a piece of shit…specially that print it gives u with the random coloured shit on it.

  • freddy-krgr14

    September 15, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    I got an HP deskjet F4480 and it never does this to me. but i get the point.

  • Viper

    September 23, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    Fucking printers.
    I have all of those fucking problems, all the time. They were made to piss us all off

  • Louis

    October 2, 2010 at 9:01 am

    i hate it when you try to print one sheet of paper but instead it prints 50 pages of it

  • Schloss Ritter

    October 5, 2010 at 6:32 am

    I still have a printer where you have to manually take out the black cartridge and put in a color cartridge when you want to print color. Pain in the ass.

  • Edsabre

    October 5, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Haha, I think everyone’s felt these same frustrations. Great video, had me in stitches!

  • gamegirl99

    October 10, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    What about when you try to hook one up to a laptop? I had mine all hooked up and it kept saying “does not recognize” I just about picked up the moniter like Eddie Izzard and showed it to the printer going “it’s right fucking here!”

  • slapnutz

    October 16, 2010 at 9:23 am

    Hilarious! Ain’t it the truth!

  • ryoga2k

    October 20, 2010 at 4:30 am

    I bought a Black&White Samsung laser printer 3 years ago and never looked back, the drivers are simple, no nagging screens or levels or computer voices telling you what to do, the printer just prints, and even if I felt it was a little bit flimsy when I first got it I have taken good care of it and it hasn’t have had a damn problem! plus the toner lasts like forever! I can highly recommend Samsung printers if they are like the one I own

  • October 20, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Oh James, in our country cartridges has the same price as printers and we don’t switch them, we just recharge them with special inks and here begins A REAL BULLSHIT!

  • October 25, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    You really know whats bullshit? the ads we have to watch before this videos online and youtube. and its always the same one, they could at least make them different.

  • October 28, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    You know what? We had a printer that we had to throw away, BECAUSE OF A PAPER JAM.
    Now we have this fax/scanner/printer combo thing and when I want to SCAN something it is just a chore. Until I found out I can use one of those digital camera cards to just insert, wait, cancel it from wanting to print out the pictures on it, go down to scan, go down to scan to card, wait. And then wait some more and CANCEL about three times to get it little screen back to where it was when I started.
    I would love to just have the simple flatbed scanner back all it was, was press a button, lean back, do a few things on the computer, and wait. There you go, save it directly to the computer and you’re happy. But no, now we have these STUPID printer/scanner/fax machines that just take so long to actually work it is a chore to find out HOW they work, then get them to work. That is bullshit.

  • November 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    I actually have the same printer that you have , and … yes , is bullshit!!!!!!

  • stevo1115

    January 31, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    i had a problem with my printer not too long ago. i was printing something but i didn’t know if i had enough paper so i put more paper in. i pushed print and it said, “please insert paper.” i took it out and put in back in, same thing. i pushed it in a little to see if it would recognize it, same message. i took one piece of paper from the stack and it worked, but i shouldn’t have to do this. so the next time i printed something, i pushed in all of the paper at once. the printer took all of the paper and acted like it was one thick piece of paper. it printed on one sheet and then said THE SAME FUCKING MESSAGE AGAIN!!!! it eventually worked and i printed everything that i wanted to print off. it took five minutes to print like six pages, so that’s bullshit.

  • Mountrussmore

    February 4, 2011 at 8:19 am

    James, I completely agree with you. My school printer is so annoying it’s not even funny. I went to go print something important for school, and it wouldn’t let me print it because there wasn’t any colored ink left in the printer. Now, there was NOTHING that needed color, so WHY THE HELL DOES THERE NEED TO BE COLORED INK IN A PRINTER TO PRINT IN BLACK?! Printers are, indeed, bullshit…

  • Mad Hatter

    February 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    you know what’s BUUULLL SHIIIT ????

    ADVERTISEMENTS BEFORE VIDEOS !!!!

  • February 8, 2011 at 11:42 pm

    I love this one. You can tell James was actually pissed off in this episode.

  • EliteDeath

    March 9, 2011 at 12:41 am

    I have that same printer! But who gives a shit, it sucks.

  • jcrowley1985

    April 8, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    I’m surprised he didn’t say how bullshit the cost of those ink cartridges are. TWENTY-FIVE to THIRTY dollars each. So we are looking at $50+ everytime you need to refill. Personally I stopped using my printer and everytime I need to print something (which is not often in today’s world of email and electronic communication) I just put my files on a flash drive and go down to the kinko’s that’s nearby.

    Oh, and these ink cartridges don’t last. The ink eventually dries up and is useless so if you don’t print a thousand pages per month, you’re basically throwing $50 in the trash.

    Kinkos currently charges 9 cents per page for black and white so it would take around 500 pages in a span of a couple months to break even on the cost of ink, not even including buying the paper.

    That’s bullshit.

  • April 18, 2011 at 5:33 am

    That is the exact same printer I have. God forbid you try to print a picture of photo paper – Guaranteed jam!!! You have to turn the computer off, unplug the USB and power cords from the printer, turn the computer back on, go to the control panel, go to installed printers, right click on this piece of bullshit and select cancel all documents, make sure this happened, and only then can you plug the printer back in to try again… like a stupid fuck. This printer is bullshit. And that test page garbage!!!! It prints out a test page you don’t want and until you press the “scan” button (which you don’t even need to have anything in there to scan), it will not let go of its prime directive… it will continue to print out test pages until you have gone broke replacing ink and paper. FUCK!!!!!!!!

  • sinephase

    April 28, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    that’s why I bought a small monochrome laser printer, much better now, no dry ink bullshit to worry about :D
    for how often I want to print in colour it’s not a problem for me not having the option

  • TheDevilmayfart

    May 7, 2011 at 3:35 am

    Same here!I hate my fucking printer!Everything you just said is true and happens to me,doesn’t make any sense,it says I’m low on color ink,but I’m just trying to print out a paper for school in black ink.Instead it prints out bullshit paper with color something the computer tells me I’m low on!
    Computer is bullshit,printer is bullshit,thats BULLSHIT!!

  • Money

    May 9, 2011 at 8:36 am

    do you want to now whats bullshit having to wait for commercials just to watch a show online

  • dutchycooper

    May 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    I had until very recently that same printer, just bought new ink for it and everything, n okay i had it for a few years but the wire at the back FUCKING DETERIORATED! sparks shooting out the back and everything. So i get a new HP printer cos i didnt want to fork out for something expensive, thinking i could use that new ink i bought but no, its all BULLSHIT!

  • BeeFh

    May 26, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    I watch this anytime my printer gives me a hard time. like now, its just giving me the finger. It just doesn’t do anything. What bullshit.

  • Alan Ciccone

    May 31, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    I love this series of vids but his one on the printers is my particular favorite. It reminds me of when I first got into the nerd videos when I saw the reviews of Top Gun and Turtles and laughed my ass off seeing him give out shit about the same things that bothered me oh so long ago. This printer stuff just brings up bad memories but the “picky bastard” is delivered so hilariously.

  • Cinemassacrefan2

    June 4, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    I had the same shittty printer and just bought a newer one to get rid of that fucking problem!

  • AdultswimGameProdigy

    June 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    I feel better about the school’s printer printing instructions today when it should be printing out our essays. But it wasn’t as bad because it wasn’t our ink or paper being wasted.
    ..
    Just our money.

  • June 16, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    This is the ONE Cinmassace video my wife enjoyed, and dude we were cracked up! Well spoken, and well done!

  • Lord Igos263

    June 20, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Great work. This my 2nd favorite ep!

  • Luigi12

    June 25, 2011 at 11:37 am

    There is a difference. 21 is lighter then 56.

  • July 29, 2011 at 2:23 am

    i love how he showed the script at 0:21

  • Riknight36

    September 2, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    So, so true.

  • PhilipHanan

    September 18, 2011 at 12:42 am

    When trying to use Black, James only sees Red.

  • Jokeroffate

    October 11, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    You know what’s bullshit?! That’s Logistics (UPS)!

  • pyrotim

    November 16, 2011 at 4:07 am

    i have a similar printer, same brand and i went through two things of black and color ink to print out handouts for a project…… it took an hour…. THAT WAS BULLSHIT

  • AevanCandelaria

    November 29, 2011 at 6:38 am

    If I could make a printer,

    When my printer is going all ape shit, it will print the finger

    • JeffreyRemien

      January 9, 2012 at 4:58 pm

      @AevanCandelaria OMG my printer actually does this

  • HakumenKing101

    December 1, 2011 at 6:54 am

    YA KNOW WHAT’S BULLLSHIT? The british Government.

  • shawneeinternetnerd

    December 5, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    f**k u ads

  • December 9, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    I have the same printer as James xD

  • MarkVdWijden

    December 24, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Printers are the work of Satan. They have a will of there own and are here to take over the world. Stupid printers..

  • Obdemnium

    December 30, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Would be nice to just have a built in printer, and you got this program where you can write and customize the mail the way you want it, then press print, and the paper comes out on the side. That would be historic!

  • MECHAGARY

    January 1, 2012 at 2:36 am

    Yes,, all printers are manufactured in the lower most regions of HELL!!!

    I don’t even have one now. They all suck.

  • weegee

    January 15, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    i broke my printer trying that

  • Moon_Shadow

    January 23, 2012 at 11:31 am

    I have a HP Laser Jet 1600, laser printer. Has 4 carts, black, Magenta, cyan, yellow. I ran out of cyan, want to print out a BLAC & WHITE document, and my printer puts up a shi* error and says: Oh, you’re screwed, buy a new CYAN cartridge! Just to print something out. It won’t print anything unless I change that fu**er… -_-

  • savigy

    January 29, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    I sincerely hate printers!

  • MadWlad

    March 19, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Do you know how the service station work inside of this bastards? Every time you hear this clicky noises when the cartriges fade into the right corner of your printer.. it flushes the ink out the cartriges to keep them clean..

    • MadWlad

      March 19, 2012 at 5:49 pm

      They keep changing the nummbers to prevent you from keeping your printer to long..if it’s not already broken after the warranty runs out (some mechanical parts are made out of very porous plastic) Some cartridges have a chip inside with a limited amount of pages you can print out.. even if it’s halfway full it won’t work.. and what about the prize.. 1ml costs 5€ here  …that’s bullshit!

  • zemau23

    May 4, 2012 at 6:48 am

    I have the sane fucking printer!! It’s always printing the same page with those code bars! It is quite a bull shit indeed…

  • Vontux

    May 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    Someone needs to make an open source ink jet printer.

  • Deschkloth

    June 16, 2012 at 12:34 am

    Mapquest MySpace Hi-Def DVD Sega Beta

    lol

  • terrybear2k

    June 19, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    you know what’s bull-shitest of bullshit of all? HP printers! + HP/compaq notebooks. bad quality, bad after sales services, all bad http://www.compaqsucks.com, read this page u find out more. (p/s: the page doesn’t belong to me)

  • Dark Omega

    July 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

    I found that, most of the time, if you don’t install the provided software and opt for a generic print driver, you won’t get those stupid alignment pages. I haven’t ‘aligned’ a printer in ages. When I do get them, I just tell it random numbers until it goes away. Nothing seems to change if you put random numbers in./

  • smurry915

    July 19, 2012 at 1:53 am

    Brother printers are the best…

  • Justus McNeal

    January 14, 2013 at 10:23 am

    I can program in nearly every programming language in existence, but I still can’t get a printer to work to save my life.

    THAT’S BULLSHIT!

  • sy5tem

    March 17, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    LOL ? yes, they film you while your printer is fucking with you!

  • Ivan

    May 2, 2013 at 1:21 am

    My favorite bullshit review. I like how much the bullshit man complains about the printer.

  • July 18, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    I UNDERSTANNNNNNDDDD… My printer has like a fuxking piss storm every time i try to use it with my laptop …. I refill the ink cartidges (cheaper and environmentally better) and the fuxking thing tells me `low on ink`I JSUT FUXKING REFILLED IT…. WTF

  • gominam895

    October 2, 2013 at 2:48 am

    hilarious. I had one just like that some years ago.

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