AVGN: Atari Porn

Mike Matei / August 22nd, 2007

Comments

  • Dico

    April 17, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    who would have thought Atari had pornographic games.

    • Sammy Schitz

      May 6, 2014 at 4:01 pm

      Never forget Nintendo had the infamous C&E softcore porn games, like Bubble Bath Babes and Peek-A-Boo Poker. Sort of ironically, they’re in the same category of unlicensed games as Bible Adventures.

  • bloodlockscc

    April 26, 2010 at 12:23 am

    Yeah, who would have thought these were possible? I learned of them early on in life, but never thought someone would have the balls to review them. Go Nerd (James)!

  • bloodlockscc

    April 26, 2010 at 5:27 am

    Atari had them, 3DO had something but it didn’t qualify as porn. Wonder if CD-I had any porn games hmm?

    • Jacob Martin

      December 22, 2013 at 7:41 pm

      I think so… a lot of CD-I titles sound fairly erotic…

    • pokemario99

      February 4, 2014 at 8:43 pm

      there was a game called “The joy of sex” that might be

  • May 13, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    That was funny as hell. I don’t know how you get your hands on these game’s man. Keep them coming!

  • May 28, 2010 at 12:21 am

    Well Dico, thats what happened when anyone could make an Atari 2600 game. and boy did it stir up some controversy, so many people got offended, as James said in the video. Women’s activists, parents etc.

  • nerddaniel

    July 25, 2010 at 3:19 am

    funny lol

  • peachdaisy22

    July 27, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    those assholes!!!! how could they make those?! those fuckers are sick bitches…

  • Ferrobbra

    August 6, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    that one game with the blocks to build the bridge. they looked like peanut from the jeff dunham show

  • Gabraham

    August 12, 2010 at 12:18 am

    All I got out of that video was that James has the same mug as me at the end, except mine has Super Mario Bros. 2 on it instead of pacman. It’s one bad ass mug too. In fact, I’ll drink from it right now.

  • Otaku4Life

    September 24, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    I just returned from Japan, and I just dicovered that there are pornographic games available for the PSP.

  • SpeedyEric

    October 20, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    I thought the only games that had sex and nudity was that Grand Theft Auto game, which got alot of publicity and controvercy. My mind was blown when I first saw this episode, and I found out that games like this existed during the Atari days.

  • phoenix252005

    October 20, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    Wow its crazy how they made dirty games that early on on video game history!! I actually played the Newer Leisure Suit Larry game and that shit is realllllyyy perverted,funny too lol Hey anyone notice how most of thos games came from sweden?? Horny Bastards man!! Of course they got really hot chicks too lol

  • IamSecret

    October 25, 2010 at 5:13 am

    Whoa. People have absolutely no boundaries, even today. Still funny as heck though. LOL. (:

  • lhajun

    November 13, 2010 at 1:44 am

    The legend says these games were wrapped in real human skin.

  • November 19, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Now it’s games like Rapelay and the Hot Coffee Mod in GTA San Andreas. Back then it was Custers Revenge and Beat em and Eat em

  • adamL

    December 14, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Holy crap that’s fucked up… three of the games they finished and sold were about raping people. It would suck to buy a pornographic game and then find you can’t enjoy it because you’re not a psychopath. :-(

  • Kristine

    December 17, 2010 at 12:46 am

    I think this one’s my favorite video hahaha i never knew atari came out with pornographic games

  • December 20, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    And THATS the whole Shebang. Thank god for computer porn. Oh shit, did I write that out loud?

  • ippiki-ookami69

    January 9, 2011 at 10:50 am

    all i can say is….WHAT THE FUCK WHERE THEY THINKING??!!!!
    such a lovely game for parents to get their kids

  • crono04

    February 11, 2011 at 4:48 am

    That Metal Man remix at the end is bad-ass!

  • gazXgameXslave

    February 15, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    as if porn games for Wii wasnt outragous enough. Seriously, try to picture what that must be like without laughing XD

  • aerohawk

    February 24, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    i was just scrolling through a list of sega genesis roms and i came upon a title by the name of “jizz wars”. The picture looked raunchy, to say the least

  • March 6, 2011 at 3:24 am

    Yuck.

  • Kickasjake

    March 21, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Why are people so shocked of this? Most people only mention the GTA controversy as comparison but God of War has two topless women in a hot tub, Conan Had naked chained up women you rescued, and there was even a controversy about Mass Effects sex scenes which showed nothing. Games have sex in them today as well as then.

  • Kickasjake

    March 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Oh and forgot controversial games like Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball and Rumble Roses.

  • March 29, 2011 at 12:24 am

    Whenever I wanted to convert people to “the Nerd”, I always started them with Atari Porn, and then they were instantly hooded. It might be the most awkwardly funny thing on Atari. Actually, the other day, my Hubbie was telling people about it, and there was someone in his proximity, who had actually played “Custer’s Revenge”…now that is just sad….

  • JackeeLee

    April 12, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Why are these games so shocking? The NES had them and now even the wii has them. As long as there are perverted men in the world there will be shit like this.

    As gross as it is, fucking funny video James, as always!

  • Sol Invictus

    April 19, 2011 at 11:16 am

    NOT FOR SALE TO MINORS

  • Olli

    May 2, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    never realised the late 70s had a sense of humor

  • cbherou

    May 4, 2011 at 11:55 am

    Why is this not on YouTube? I hate watching the vids on the “other” sites because it is so slow, and there are too many advertisements continuously loading on the sides of the page.

  • andinus

    May 14, 2011 at 5:14 am

    I love this video, this video is the purest form of what I like about the Nerd. I don’t need all the special effects or drawn out diarrhea jokes. Just James and his natural comments, to me that all the AVGN needs.

  • punksterdaddy

    May 14, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    Well you have settled an old argument with this video… I said to an old, old friend that my uncle had a game with a naked lady on it and he wouldn’t believe me at all.
    Thank you again, you have proved a long forgotten point… shame I don’t know where the hell he is nowadays?

  • May 28, 2011 at 10:45 am

    LOL, James , my video game teacher in college asked us ‘who’s heard of custard’s last stand”?it was like what u described!

  • Ataripornrules

    June 21, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    What sense does this make?

    Well, if it’s a lawyer or a doctor it’s worth swallowing his sperm… so why missing such a chance? Being a slut and maybe getting married !!!

  • FalloutCanada

    June 24, 2011 at 6:54 am

    I’ll never look at an atari controller the same way again. :’(

  • Thejokerman981

    July 8, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    james i hope ur reading this cuz theres a new TOP GUN game cuming out for the ps3 xbox360 and pc date not confermd.
    i know u cant wait for it to come out

  • MikeyNewJin

    July 26, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    This was very disturbing

  • MDcowboy15

    August 2, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    @JackeeLee, Your sexism is disturbing. I quote, “As long as there are perverted men in the world there will be shit like this.” Perhaps you’re deaf or you didn’t watch the video, but these games were made for both men AND women. You make an assumption, a crude, uninformed, insulting assumption that men are the only ones who would be interested in this sick garbage. Fuck you.

    • thedeadhalo

      December 5, 2011 at 6:18 pm

      U MAD BRO? BY WATCHING THIS VIDEO, I CAME

  • Player-1

    August 11, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    Just think of it… a porn game for the kinect XD

    • Voltron1110

      January 14, 2012 at 1:26 pm

      Funny you should say that, because Thrixxx was developing one. Not sure what happened with it though.

  • snitchurmom

    August 17, 2011 at 4:15 am

    Hi, James. All you are missing from your Atari barrage of boom-booms is “Porkeys”. If I remember correctly, there is a moment in the game where if you get caught, the lady villian grabs you by the dick. Let me know if I am wrong….

  • August 21, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Oh god…. I share his birthday…

  • August 29, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Oh..boy

  • Snake_

    September 1, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Now I don’t wanna get into this sexist or not debate but something just struck me: It’s kinda wierd that when a naked girl walks from door to door and havin sex with guys she’s a bitch, whore or whatever but when a guy does It he’s a stud:P Don’t get me wrong It’s just a video for entertaining purposes but that just got me thinkin “hmmm woman=bitch man=stud huh? Wierd”

    • nesnerd4life

      November 23, 2011 at 2:54 am

      men have to be handsome charming and funny to be a stud to be a slut you just have to be hot

    • ChaseNelson

      January 15, 2012 at 11:44 pm

      If you have a key that works with many locks, its called a Master Key. But if you have a lock that can fit many keys in it, its just a shitty lock.

    • Jarnor

      February 9, 2012 at 3:51 am

      I’m pretty sure my “irony detector” went off when James called the guy a “stud”.

  • JackeeLee

    September 2, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    @MDcowboy15, good point. There are girls that are into this kinda stuff too, like bachelorette party or beat em’ and eat em’. My hearing is fine, thanks for asking and yes I did watch the video. Fuck you too, you rude bastard.

    • thedeadhalo

      December 5, 2011 at 6:12 pm

      I read his comment. Sounded like he had a rage trip! XD

  • September 8, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Ahh the memories I use to have the adult atari games as well. Ywp there was a porkys game and yep the dick grab thing did happen.

    just think there was a shit load of games for computers back in the good old 80′s they had a lot of graphic “M” rated games that existed that didn’t even have a M rating ahh the memories

  • StopLan

    September 15, 2011 at 8:35 am

    mwhahahahahahha what an epic shit dump

  • thesoapman

    September 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

    lol funny

  • ChaceWGagenParry

    November 30, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    uhhh what

  • Zachary Creech

    December 2, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    This game takes the Term “Pixel Dick” do a new level… o.o

  • thedeadhalo

    December 5, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    I found this hard to masturbate to…. But i did

    • AVGN Lover

      December 10, 2011 at 12:38 pm

      @thedeadhalo me to

    • RickLesperance

      December 15, 2011 at 8:39 am

      @thedeadhalo i dont know if yur comment was manly or pathetic… still searching for answers….

      • thedeadhalo

        December 16, 2011 at 3:28 am

        @RickLesperance@thedeadhalo

        A bit of both really

    • XMega728

      March 25, 2012 at 4:23 pm

       @thedeadhalo Lol! xDSick bastard! Jk. 
      The ‘best’ one was the last one.

  • December 23, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    Wow… just… wow….

  • jarjarboy

    January 12, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Wait. Wait, wait wait wait.

    Does it say Swedish Erotica on the top of the Custers Revenge cartridge?

    *checks again*

    Oh dear lord, it does!

    Why, does it say Swedish Erotica on the cartridge!?

    Oh please don’t tell me this game was made in sweden…

    • January 17, 2012 at 7:54 am

      @jarjarboy Nope, it wasn’t made in Sweden. It was made by American company Mystique, but they thought it would sell better when labeled as “Swedish Erotica”.

  • UnguardedSquid X

    January 15, 2012 at 3:43 am

    AVGN should review the pornographinc games on NES

  • Red2503

    January 15, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    The characters look like majin buu

  • muzackattack

    January 17, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    this is suppose to turn people on??????????? im not turned on by a pixley boob or a pixel dick

  • TrevorBall

    January 19, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    I just ordered season 2 on DVD. I told my parents you cuss a little bit and that was all. Lets just hope they dont see this.

  • MrBrrumpkins

    January 20, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    ”Well, fuck yeah I did, but you don’t wanna know what I was playing”

    • legend killer

      February 11, 2012 at 5:41 am

      lol @MrBrrumpkins

  • bustaboy

    January 25, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    ok i….am a little disturbed lol

  • DeanWilks

    February 3, 2012 at 7:35 am

    the picture at the beginning rules!

  • 1CLVico

    February 10, 2012 at 6:22 am

    In the end : Metal Man goes clubbing OCREMIX :)

  • xiaoxiao22333

    February 16, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    the nerds already got a wife :|

  • February 17, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    “I get Jason Voorhees and Freddy Crooger and Spiderman, Bugs Bunny! But no naked chick…fuck this shit” probably described every guys life right there

  • TRhamy

    March 4, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    i know why his style has changed and i respect that but the old school is nice too 

  • LoganAlberding

    March 12, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    the cartridge said it was made in hong kong 0_0

  • e_ram91

    March 26, 2012 at 10:44 am

    I WANT THAT PACMAN MUG.
     

  • Sirkrozz

    March 26, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    Sweet Metal Man remix; it made the whole Atari horniness worthwhile!
     
    BYW, does anybody know if there’s a place where i can get more of these remixes?

  • CharlieBrownGhostAss

    June 17, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Live Like A Windrammer As You Fuck

  • Aaron1375

    July 14, 2012 at 12:17 am

    So why isn’t this one on Youtube? They can handle fucks and anal evacuations, but not poorly rendered boobs and cocks?

  • Sarabeam

    August 18, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    this one had me in tears

  • HeavyIsPie

    September 15, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    @ ChaseNelson: too true,man, too true.

  • MonkeeJuice

    September 25, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    Worst idea ever created!

  • SeriousPain

    December 25, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    “Today this will never be allowed”? Not in consoles. But in PC, you can find anything. Just search, Google it or something, you’ll find tons of them, especially hentai games. (Not that I play them, lol… Seriously, I’m not!)

  • Billbarman

    January 14, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    Its interesting this idea was only really implimented on the system with the worst graphics possible therefore making it the worst experiance for these kinds of games. I’m kinda glad it didnt evolve to the NES and beyond… although sad at the same time caus I’m sure they would have been god damn hilarious.

  • SpeedyEric

    January 17, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    I knew I had to watch this episode again after seeing Brad “The Cinema Snob” Jones’ film “Game Boys.”

  • Frow

    January 25, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    8:08 That’s Bob Oblong!

  • February 4, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    Oddly enough, me and my friend played a lot of ‘porn’ games, even the Atari ones when we were kids. Since it was the 90′s and we’re from Sweden, a lot of people had no idea what this stuff was. It’s not that common here, heck they had a comic that they sold to kids with pornographic content, they even showed anime on children channels that was for adults. Most of it was heavily edited but they were just that fucking stupid here back then. Not anymore though. Some did of course understand what it was but most had no idea, so we’d just play these games with our doors locked or read those dirty comic strips.

    It’s really fucking weird now that I think about it, as today that stuff would never fly.
    Mostly you’d get these old consoles through a friend or you bought one cheap off some flea market and it had these games on there. Not that I own any today, I’d prolly sell ‘em for a nice buck if I did.

  • Scorchstar123

    February 23, 2013 at 9:56 pm

    That is….. interesting?

  • February 25, 2013 at 11:07 am

    what if thar was a porn game for like ps3 or x box

    • Evan Bowey

      May 7, 2014 at 10:30 am

      There actually IS a porn game on the PC called BoneTown

  • February 25, 2013 at 11:09 am

    n

  • damon

    March 4, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    Nice try passing off that iced tea as beer. There are two reasons I can tell it is tea. One: Beer is usually lighter in color. Two: there’s sugar on the bottom of the cup.

  • CardiacNutsack

    March 20, 2013 at 1:09 am

    This is the only AVGN video not on YT, I’m pretty sure.

  • Mariogamer

    May 13, 2013 at 6:02 am

    Truly suprising that there are PORN games.

  • Mariogamer

    May 13, 2013 at 6:06 am

    If a hot naked girl came to my house and started humping me, I would not kick her out of the house. No no, I would have sex with her!!!

  • Mariogamer

    May 13, 2013 at 6:08 am

    I want to fuck a naked girl now!!!! I want to have sex!!!!

  • eioeospan

    May 26, 2013 at 7:26 am

    Damn..

  • June 6, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    MASTURB4T3, M4STURB4T3!!!!

  • June 6, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    I masturbated to this.

  • Rainbow Dash

    July 4, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    That nerd’s a pervert!

  • DarthUno

    July 28, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Swedish Erotica? Okay XD

    • July 29, 2013 at 6:04 am

      Yeah… I guess the Swedes love to jerk off on the top of buildings and naked women run around looking to catch a load in their mouth. Awesome! Sweden, here I co- I’m not even going to finish that sentence.

  • July 29, 2013 at 6:03 am

    Nintendo had some of those games too. I remember seeing them when I snuck into the XXX room at the video store we rented from, where they also kept the WWF wrestling videos.

  • October 7, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    wat if atari porn games were in HD!

  • Pokelol99

    October 20, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    wtf…………… ATARI PORn

  • November 3, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    It’s no surprise porn games came upon the atari; thats the whole cause of the video game crash of 1985, ANYONE COULD MAKE A GAME AND SELL IT. It caused inflation of games, and back then you didn’t know good from bad! It was just (In AVGN language) A shit fuck ton of shitty games falling from the ass skies of the gaming industry, ready so soak anybody in putrid asshole shit!

  • November 21, 2013 at 2:47 am

    So I found Beat Em and Eat Em among a bunch of old games at this garage sale years back (2000ish). Funny thing was the lady that was holding the sale was in her 70′s. It must have been a relatives copy I assume. Looking back I should have forked out the 2 bucks to buy it, but at the time its value didn’t cross my mind. I could be $50 richer today if I had lol

  • November 25, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    What am I watching? I haven’t even played ATRI and I am scarred for life and left saying “ow, my childhood.” I am going to close my eyes and wake up from this awful nightmare.

  • December 18, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    Haha porn games wtf

  • February 2, 2014 at 10:26 am

    LOL! I knew these existed but I didn’t know how many at first. They are BAD but I loved the review.

  • Kokayi Newsome

    April 2, 2014 at 12:26 am

    What’s the point of porn ATARI games? You can’t even see anything. How do you make a game like this and just go home and pretend it’s all ok? Like “Oh well, done working on the porn game for today. What a fulfilling job!”

  • Evan Bowey

    May 7, 2014 at 10:29 am

    There’s actually a pornagraphic game on the PC called BoneTown

  • nostalgiavhs

    June 8, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    One of the best episodes of AVGN! Incredibly funny stuff!

  • Ryan Cleary

    June 11, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    I have seen this review several times and for some reason just noticed buckets of jizz on the tile screen. Mike you sick bastard…

  • Weldin Dunn

    June 22, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Uhhhh, James, your forehead was sweaty.

  • Mr. Lulz

    July 15, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    This was released on my birthday :0

  • gluserty

    September 19, 2014 at 1:56 am

    Hey, I don’t think this episode is available from Cinemassacre’s YouTube account, and i scrolled down the list thoroughly. I guess they must consider it too graphic…or maybe too UNgraphic.

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