AVGN: Bible Games

Mike Matei / December 25th, 2006

Watch this video on Youtube

Episode notes by Mike:
- In episode 17 AVGN reviews a variety of bible themed games including Bible Buffet (NES), Bible Adventures (NES), Super 3D Noah’s Ark (SNES) and others.
- Kyle Justin recorded a parody of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” for this episode.
- There are two sequels to this episode. Bible Games 2 (2008) and Bible Games 3 (2011).

Comments

  • Nathan Rogers

    April 9, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    This is one of my favourite avgn videos. Makes me laugh every time I watch it!

    Keep up the great work James!

  • shipman96

    April 10, 2010 at 8:30 pm

    man why are so many of the bibel games ripoffs of so many other games did they run out of ideas

    • senna4ever

      December 4, 2011 at 11:05 am

      Ripping off famous games happened a lot years ago, not just Bible Games.

      I remember playing all sorts of clones from games such as Pac-Man, Mario Bros, Space Invaders.

      • karel1

        April 25, 2013 at 7:31 pm

        Then there’s the BIGGEST rip-off artist of ALL time, Hollywood!

  • ATurin

    April 18, 2010 at 8:19 am

    I had Bible Adventures. Never played anything but Noah because of the insane difficulty of Baby Moses and the raw shit that was D&G. I even remember getting in trouble because I said “Holy shit! Noah’s holding up tow oxen and two cows!”

  • May 2, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    This is the first AVGN i saw and its still funny!

  • May 10, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Wow those Bible games are ASS!

  • Andoru

    May 30, 2010 at 9:44 pm

    You should make more videos like this. I like how you used to comment more on the little subtly, yet funny thing within the game. Recently it seems you talk more about the game as a whole and just make jokes about it. Its all funny, I just really like this classic style of nerd reviews.

  • supermark64

    June 7, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    bible buffet is kinda like a rip off of bomberman in the parts with the “exploding pancakes.”

  • Havecapewilltravel

    July 1, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    To bad they didnt may it a mario clone. Id much rather be killing koopas for jesus than i would stacking sheep, o well. It’s funny how shamelessly they would tweak copyright laws but atleast there were games that even some of the most hardcore jesus nut parents would approve of.

  • kamakazi geek

    July 2, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    i never played the bible games but they look like shit!!!!!!!!

  • CharlieBrownGhostAss

    July 5, 2010 at 7:24 am

    Ever play “BIBLE BLACK” for the PC?

  • DemonicGleam

    July 14, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    Still my favorite one.
    So many bits in this episode that I just love.

  • TheAceofSpadez

    July 20, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    ive watched this episode countless times since it happened and i just noticed something of all the things uve said u apologize for tht:?!?!? wtf lol

  • peachdaisy22

    July 27, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    sheepy sheepy sheepy lol

  • boojakascha.ch

    August 8, 2010 at 10:52 am

    To be some sort of smartass:

    The levels of Super 3D Noah’s Ark are all completely new, and are totally different from the levels of Wolfenstein 3D.

    This is not further amazing in sight of the fact that many levels or parts of levels in Wolfenstein 3D are swastikas (卍) when you look them from the top. One Super 3D Noah’s Ark level is a cross, and in another you walk around in the letters n o a h.

    In Super 3D Noah’s Ark are some features which are not in Wolf3D such as Question Objects and more weapons. This is another proof that it’s not a simple texture change mod.

    But I <3 AVGN =)

    Another question at James if he reads this:
    I have written a review about Super 3D Noah's Ark. Could you give me permission to take out pictures of your video showing the SNES cartridge of the game?

    If you want the link to the review in order to avoid being quoted in a potential shitty review, it’s:
    http://boojakascha.ch/index.php?page=super3dnoahsark

    (Delete the link if you feel like its spam)

  • peachdaisy22

    August 12, 2010 at 8:50 am

    lol
    I won’t stop watching this video!
    Oh!I love the opening!
    Heh heh…Chicken and rice…..Tasty!

  • TheNintendoMan

    August 24, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    this is number 5 in my top ten avgn videos.
    i also would like to see bible adventures noah and chuck norris fight
    AVGN RULZ teh EARTH

  • mishmishluvsmario

    October 4, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    NOAH VS. CHUCK NORIS
    i vote noah

  • October 14, 2010 at 12:50 am

    This make laugh my lungs out !!! jajajajaja

  • SpeedyEric

    October 20, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    The 2 big games I hope to ge and play by the time this Holiday Season comes around are “Transformers: War for Cybertron” and “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II.”

    In speaking of Bible games, there are a few others, like Bible Adventures on the Genesis and The Bible Games for the Xbox and PS2.

    The title “Bible Buffet” is like some of the titles to games in Action 52, a big fat lie.

    Super Noah’s Ark 3D is possible the weirdest game I ever heard of. I call it weirded than Attack of the Mutant Penguins on the Atari Jaguar.

  • gamerdudeI22

    December 18, 2010 at 12:44 am

    I’m a total dumbass that tries to use foul language to sound like my hero! The only thing I enjoy more than pounding my own unit to the AVGN is eating my own poo. i am a coprophage!

  • darkslord123

    February 6, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    if thatz jebus…WHY CANT HE WALK ON DA FUCKING WATER???

  • Jakethesnake99

    April 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    O_O uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HOLY SH1T!!!!!!!! my church was so wrong!

  • Jakethesnake99

    April 17, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    James that “fire ball or something” is a sling that noah used to kill goliath.O-O ………………………… wow……………………… sorry for that smart- assness :D

  • Furypants

    April 24, 2011 at 11:33 am

    Noah was one tough dude!

  • sockmonkey

    July 2, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    Noah’s ark actually looks kinda fun for a bible themed kids game. I like the concept at least.

  • nerdfan2000

    July 2, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    I love you man I’ve been watching you for years. If you ever need clean up for your mess you should go to astarservicesusa.com. James i love you keep on working hard!

  • frvo

    July 30, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    Best ever!

  • TheEpicStickman

    August 1, 2011 at 5:03 am

    Is James a christian. I mean If he’s a christian that’s okay, I accept that. But I hope he isn’t some crazy creationist who thinks that Atheists like me burn in Hell. that would suck. love the episode, love the nerd.

  • Belovedunderground

    August 4, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    proof that religion is corrupt: bible games

  • glowing

    August 4, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Your classic videos always put a smile on my face. Not to say that your new ones aren’t great as well, but rather, your comedy ages well and really seems to never lose it’s charm.

    For your years of humor, I thank you. You are a credit to your faith. I hope the joy you’ve brought others comes back to you ten fold!

    Peace be upon you.

    Sincerely,

    One of your Muslim fans

  • HappyYodeler4

    August 12, 2011 at 4:04 am

    6:30 He is flipping you off.

  • Chris-R.

    August 29, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    (During the David and Goliath bit) “…some sorta fireball or something, I dunno…” LOL! I never caught that before. This is the best episode, hands down. Fuck yeah, James!

  • Joe N

    September 2, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    aahh yes this was the first Nerd video i ever watch. I remember searching youtube for a funny ass video to watch and i stumbled on this wonderful gem. I remember thinking “Damn this is over 20 mins long! Well what the hell.” I am so glad I chose to watch this video damn near 5 years ago.
    Thanks for all the videos.

  • JokeSillis

    September 13, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    Actually, “super noa’s ark 3d” isn’t the only unlicensed snes game, there was also ‘Sonic the hedgehog 4′ which was a hack of a Speedy gonzales game where the objection of the game was to save mario (I’m dead serious.)

    Made by “twin eagles group” a Peruvian video game company that made all kinds of counterfeit games including games for the pc (like a primal rage hack called ‘prime force’) among others that were basically hacks and arcade ported to other unknown consoles and home computers (like the Java or the spectrum 48k My guess is because those were easier to hack into)

    Just thought you oughta know ;)

  • JokeSillis

    September 13, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    Almost forgot, you can see the proof of this game’s existence here:

    http://info.sonicretro.org/Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(SNES)

  • keniakittykat

    September 13, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    Actually, “super noa’s ark 3d” isn’t the only unlicensed snes game, there was also ‘Sonic the hedgehog 4′ which was a hack of a Speedy gonzales game where the objective of the game was to save mario (I’m dead serious.)

    Made by “twin eagles group” a Peruvian video game company that made all kinds of counterfeit games including games for the pc (like a primal rage hack called ‘prime force’) among others that were basically hacks and arcade ported to other unknown consoles and home computers (like the Java or the spectrum 48k My guess is because those were easier to hack into)

    Just thought you oughta know ;)

    • Olivania

      December 30, 2011 at 11:05 pm

      @keniakittykat Wow, I didn’t know that. Thanks for sharing the info. :-)

  • korn2disturbed

    October 8, 2011 at 4:24 am

    Just because he reviewed Bible games doesn’t mean he’s a Christian, I’m not saying he isn’t a Christian but it doesn’t mean he is either. Secondly “crazy Creationist who thinks that atheists like me burn in Hell” Go fuck yourself I’m a Christian and if you don’t believe in God you burn in Hell, simple as that. However I respect peoples beliefs so you judging every Christian like that really pisses me off, I mean I could judge you how every atheist comes off to me as. A people hating, racist, junkie, pussy, AnitChrist, prick, who runs away from any fight especially one about religion. Any atheist wouldn’t like that, so show Christians some common fucking courtesy by not judging every Christian the same way.

    • JorealConners

      November 18, 2011 at 7:25 pm

      Trolled

    • APM

      December 13, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      I wouldn’t judge all Christians based off of this post, as I imagine most of them are not as stupid and laughably ignorant as this asshole.

  • FleabagF7

    October 21, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    “I hope he isn’t a crazy creationist” comes off as “all christians are crazy creationists, i hate god”?
    Keep your angry religion-based insults to yourself and especially out of a comments section they certainly doesn’t belong in.

  • painigniter

    November 18, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Lol you sure pissed off a bunch of my fellow christians. They seem to have lost their sense of humor. Good job though! :P

  • TheXman300

    November 26, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    You know, I would love to live in Bible Buffet. I mean, come on, BBQ Land, Pizza Land, Fast Food Land, it would be fucking awesome!

  • senna4ever

    December 4, 2011 at 11:02 am

    I think it’s quite apt that Bible Games is a load of ass and bullshit.

    I mean, the actuall Bible itself…

  • shawneeinternetnerd

    December 6, 2011 at 1:40 am

    MMM TAKE THAT U MONKEY FUCK

  • Uncle_Jemima

    December 12, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    lol i bet it’s a good game right? no, it’s not. have you ever tried to lift multiple large animals above your head? doom rip-off after that.

  • Kezune

    December 20, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    Still my favorite episode. :3

  • CodyCornileus

    December 23, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    A classic

  • CodyCornileus

    December 23, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Classic :D

  • Sausagist

    December 23, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    player 1 assssssssssssssss

  • DylanKidd

    December 23, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    This is one of my favorites. Lines like “You’d rather listen to your only infant child puking to death; that is choking on its on puke chunks….. That’s disgusting, I apologise.” are freaken hilarious. I like that he’s still coming out with new material, even though he’s filming a movie. But it’s nowhere near as entertaining.

  • DoodleMongo

    January 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    God: “WISDOM TREE MADE ME LOOK LIKE A JOKE ! THIS IS A DISGRACE !”

    James: “Wait till you see the games for the Phillips CD-i…”

    God: “GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE !”

  • Branden798

    January 7, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    lol

  • Branden798

    January 7, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    i found my photo on the old cinemassacres website:

    • Kaleidoscopic God

      March 10, 2012 at 3:10 am

      A @Branden798 SAY YES TO VHS!

  • huskywolfy

    January 12, 2012 at 12:59 am

    “player one!””oh my god, it’s talking…” XD my favourite part

  • Piet

    January 28, 2012 at 8:52 am

    I wonder why James knows what youre going to see if youre takin too much LSD XD

  • 1CLVico

    February 1, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    HAHAHA I love this one ! I was laughing all the video long !

    Sheep, sheep, sheeeeepyyyy ! Meeeeee !

  • February 5, 2012 at 11:28 pm

    why did james go with a white shirt?

  • StephenKing

    February 8, 2012 at 12:30 am

    I will rather go to Church than play this ;)

  • JaysonGeronca

    February 11, 2012 at 9:10 am

    The actual Holy Bible is more entertaining than this!

    Xbox Live Gold Membership (12 months) now available on G-Jays Productions: Game Zone!

    (Wii, PS3, Xbox, and PC games and consoles also available)

    Visit G-Jays Productions at http://g-jays.blogspot.com/2012/02/g-jays-gameone.html

  • JaysonGeronca

    February 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

    The Holy Bible is more entertaining than this!

    Xbox Live Gold Membership (12 months) now available on G-Jays Productions: Game Zone!

    (Wii, PS3, Xbox, and PC games and consoles also available)

    Visit G-Jays Productions at http://g-jays.blogspot.com/2012/02/g-jays-gameone.html

  • senna4ever

    March 8, 2012 at 9:57 am

    “acording to the bible Noah put 2 of each animal in the ark”
    No, the bible never states this at all. In fact the bible says he gathered animals in various number, mainly by 7.

  • StephenScottShinkle

    March 10, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    those games are NUTS!

  • liamaa2

    March 15, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    the snakes in noahs arc look a lot like the ones in master chi and the drunkard hu (earlier review)

  • Maxx1222

    March 20, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    AVGN is god

  • Maxx1222

    March 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    P1: ASSSSSSSSSSSSSS

  • redcloud136

    April 10, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    Bible mean “little books” or “little Library” So you can use the word bible on anything like the Grimm’s books or the mother goose books you can describe them as bible. As for the christian bible you can call the holy bible. So for bible buffet i guess it suppose to be books about food?

  • Jessyfaulkner

    May 14, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    This was my favorite video! The first time I saw this, I cried from laughing so hard!

  • David Whitton

    December 12, 2012 at 4:38 am

    That is one thing sad about Bible-related stuff, they just rip off another source and put a religious theme to it.

  • Super-Telecom

    December 24, 2012 at 7:23 am

    Well i know what Rod and Todd Flanders got for Christmas in 1994. Poor bastards.

  • HighVoltage

    March 17, 2013 at 5:48 pm

    That is the ark of the covenant you knock the pig out with. LOL. Time to call doctor Jones.

  • xenxander

    April 1, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    That last game, Spiritual Warfare, actually reminded me, initially, of Hydlye. I know you hate that game but I liked it (It was just a horrible butchered port of the PC game :( sadly). The music is very similar to Hydlye, more so than Zelda and plays more like it.

  • June 16, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    Can you even play Super 3D Noah’s Ark (SNES) without an extra cartridge or you really need it to get it working?

  • BladeRunner

    August 20, 2013 at 11:44 pm

    Its crazy this video is like 7 years old now, I remember watching this when it was first up in 2006.

  • matt ferguson

    November 19, 2013 at 4:47 am

    Just saw a trailer for the new Noah’s Ark movie today with Russel Crowe. The first two things to pop in my head: South park- Russel Crowe’s Fightin’ Around the World, and this video: ‘Nobody fucks with noah!’

  • BladeRunner

    November 24, 2013 at 12:17 am

    oh yeah, its that time of the year again!!

  • Senna4ever

    December 9, 2013 at 11:24 am

    The myth that Id gave the source code for Wofenstien to Wisdom Tree to make the game is just that…a myth.

    Id made the game an open source game anyway. Anyone could make “new” versions of the game and many, many people did on the PC.
    It was just an open source game anyway. So Id never did give it to Wisdom Tree.

  • January 7, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    I had to do something related to ejept in scholl and when I herd baby mozes I thoght of this ebisode of avgn

  • January 14, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    What’s the world coming to? After the craptacular Action 52 now Super 3D Noah’s Ark is getting an actual reprint. Cool thing is that Eurogamer featured this AVGN video in the article about it! http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2014-01-14-unlicensed-snes-game-super-3d-noahs-ark-to-be-reprinted

  • February 20, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    Made a song using the vocales from this vid hope u love HARDSTYLE
    https://soundcloud.com/dj-hentie/bible-games-avgn-hentie

  • bigbooster126

    February 21, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    you should do a jewish version called torah games

    • Elie Arama

      April 16, 2014 at 7:28 pm

      Have you seen the new movie “Noah” ? I was disappointed, he doesn’t pick the animals up like in the game …

  • Elie Arama

    April 16, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    Have you seen the new movie “Noah” ? I was disappointed, he doesn’t pick the animals up like in the game …

  • May 14, 2014 at 12:25 am

    Noah can perform those incredible feats of strength because hes actually not an old man really, hes actually Russell Crowe. 2014 has taught us this.

  • CELL767

    July 18, 2014 at 12:42 pm

  • August 19, 2014 at 5:56 am

    Can anyone tell me what is Bible? I can’t seem to find any answers to it neither sense didn’t help… it has something to do with christmas right?

  • October 26, 2014 at 5:49 pm

    One of my all time favorite episodes. Watching this every christmas…and in between. Never gets old, haha!

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